Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer communicates the main idea but has problems with grammar, word choice and coherence. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct key vocabulary (e.g. "upbeat" not "unbeaten") and verb forms ("helps" not "help"). Also avoid sentence fragments and unclear phrases like "Predict tasks"—use "tedious tasks". For example, say the preference, give one concrete situation and a brief reason.

例: I prefer happy music because it has an upbeat, positive mood that helps me stay motivated. For example, when I exercise, cheerful songs keep my energy levels high, so I can train harder. Also, listening to happy music makes repetitive or tedious tasks feel less boring.

提案: The response shows clear positive feeling but is marred by many errors and unclear phrases. Begin with a topic sentence answering directly, then use linking words (e.g. "because", "for example") to give two specific reasons. Use correct vocabulary: "upbeat", "lively rhythms", "minor/major key" (choose correctly), and name real genres/artists clearly. Combine fragments into complete sentences and avoid numeric or stray tokens. Keep to 3–4 sentences maximum.

例: Yes, upbeat music definitely makes me feel more excited because of its lively rhythms and bright melodies. For example, I often listen to electronic dance music or upbeat pop songs before exercising to boost my motivation. Happy songs also trigger positive memories of times spent with family, which lifts my mood further.

× I prefer happy music because it's unbeaten and positive light.

✓ I prefer happy music because it's upbeat and positive.

The word 'unbeaten' is incorrect here; the correct adjective describing lively tempo is 'upbeat'. 'Positive light' is an incorrect noun phrase; use the adjective 'positive' to modify 'music'. Suggestion: replace 'unbeaten and positive light' with 'upbeat and positive'.

× That help me stay motivated during the day, for example when.

✓ That helps me stay motivated during the day, for example when I exercise.

Subject 'That' is singular, so the verb must be 'helps' (third person singular). The original sentence is also incomplete; add the clause 'I exercise' to complete the example. Suggestion: use 'helps' and include the action after 'when'.

× Exercising cheerful songs keep my energy level high.

✓ Cheerful songs while exercising keep my energy level high.

The original word order is incorrect. 'Exercising cheerful songs' wrongly makes 'exercising' modify 'cheerful songs'. Reorder to show that cheerful songs during exercise keep energy high. Suggestion: use 'Cheerful songs while exercising' or 'When I exercise, cheerful songs keep my energy level high.'

× Predict tasks feel less tedious.

✓ Repetitive tasks feel less tedious.

The word 'Predict' is incorrect in context; likely intended 'repetitive'. The sentence is otherwise fine after replacing the wrong word. Suggestion: use the adjective 'repetitive' to describe tasks.

× Yes, unbeat music definitely make me happy.

✓ Yes, upbeat music definitely makes me happy.

Two issues: 'unbeat' is incorrect; use 'upbeat'. Also 'music' as a singular/uncountable noun requires the verb 'makes' in third person singular. Suggestion: 'upbeat music makes'.

× Feel more excited because lived rhythms and miser key melodies.

✓ I feel more excited because of lively rhythms and major-key melodies.

Sentence fragment missing subject and verb; add 'I' and 'feel'. 'Lived' is wrong; use 'lively'. 'Miser key' is incorrect; intended 'major-key'. Also include 'because of' to connect cause. Suggestion: 'I feel more excited because of lively rhythms and major-key melodies.'

× 10 to post -8 more For example, I listen to Bob or electronic tags before exercise.

✓ For example, I listen to pop or electronic tracks before exercising.

The original contains unintelligible fragments ('10 to post -8 more') and wrong words: 'Bob' should be 'pop', 'tags' should be 'tracks'. Use 'before exercising' for correct gerund form. Suggestion: remove nonsense numbers and use 'pop or electronic tracks before exercising.'

× To feel more motivated.

✓ I do this to feel more motivated.

This is a sentence fragment. Add subject and verb to make a complete sentence: 'I do this to feel more motivated.' Suggestion: attach it to the previous sentence or add subject/verb.

× Also family happy, strong trigger, positive memory which further my.

✓ Also, happy family memories strongly trigger positive feelings that motivate me further.

Original is fragmented and misordered. 'Family happy' should be 'happy family memories'. 'Strong trigger' needs to be 'strongly trigger' (adverb). 'Which further my' is incomplete; clarify what is furthered ('motivate me further' or 'encourage me more'). Suggestion: restructure the sentence to 'happy family memories strongly trigger positive feelings that motivate me further.'