Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more grammatically accurate, concise, and varied in vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Correct verb forms and choose precise words (e.g., 'relax' not 'relaxed'). Avoid redundancy and keep to two or three sentences.

例: I prefer happy music because it helps me relax and stay focused. For example, upbeat tunes boost my energy and improve my concentration when I’m studying or doing office work.

提案: Reduce repetition and fix grammatical mistakes. Provide one clear reason with a linking word and a specific example. Use correct verb forms (e.g., 'encourages me to run' not 'to running') and avoid repeating 'excited'.

例: Yes, it does. Because the rhythm is upbeat, it lifts my mood and motivates me to exercise more; for instance, I’m more likely to go for a run or join a sports class when I listen to lively music.

× I prefer happy music because happy music can help me relaxed and chill out, especially when I'm working or studying.

✓ I prefer happy music because happy music can help me relax and chill out, especially when I'm working or studying.

The verb after 'can help' should be in the base form, not the past participle or adjective. 'Relaxed' is an adjective; after 'help' (a causative verb) use the base verb 'relax'. Suggestion: use 'help me relax' or 'help me to relax.'

× It increases my energy.

✓ It increases my energy levels.

The sentence 'It increases my energy' is grammatically acceptable but sounds slightly unnatural; adding 'levels' clarifies the noun and improves collocation. If focusing on grammar only, it's fine; this suggestion improves naturalness.

× Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because the upbeat results boost my mood when I am exercising.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because the upbeat rhythms boost my mood when I am exercising.

The noun 'results' is incorrect in this context; 'upbeat' typically modifies 'rhythms' or 'music.' Replacing 'results' with 'rhythms' (a noun) fixes the meaning. The rest of the sentence uses the present continuous 'am exercising' correctly for ongoing activity.

× It makes me more excited to running all other sports.

✓ It makes me more excited to run when doing other sports.

After 'excited to' use the base verb, not the -ing form. 'To running' is ungrammatical. Also 'all other sports' is awkward; 'when doing other sports' or 'to run during other sports' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: 'excited to run when doing other sports.'