Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason with a linking word, and correct grammar. Replace vague phrases with precise ones and limit to 2–3 sentences. For example, say you prefer happy music because it lifts your mood after a stressful day and give a short detail about when you listen to it.

例: I prefer happy music. For example, after a long, stressful day at work I listen to upbeat songs because they lift my mood and help me relax.

提案: Correct grammar and improve coherence: begin with a direct yes/no, use a linking word to add detail, and give a specific effect. Avoid redundancy (e.g., don’t repeat 'feel'). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use present simple for habits.

例: Yes, definitely. When I listen to uplifting, cheerful music I feel energized and often start tapping my feet or dancing because the rhythm is infectious.

× I prefer happy music because I really feel that music can influence our current mood at my daily life.

✓ I prefer happy music because I really feel that music can influence my current mood in daily life.

The prepositions 'at' and the possessive 'our' are incorrect in this context. Use 'my' to match the speaker and 'in daily life' (or 'in my daily life') to indicate general circumstances. Also remove the redundant 'at'. Suggestion: Use 'my' for personal reference and 'in' to refer to general time or circumstances.

× I already feel very stressed at work and tiring.

✓ I already feel very stressed at work and tired.

The adjective 'tiring' describes something that causes tiredness; 'tired' describes a person's state. The sentence needs the adjective 'tired' to match 'stressed'. Suggestion: Use 'tired' when describing how you feel.

× I don't want myself feeling even more sad by the music.

✓ I don't want to feel even sadder because of the music.

'Myself' is unnecessary and awkward here. Use the infinitive 'to feel' after 'want' and use the comparative 'sadder' to express 'even more sad'. Use 'because of' (or 'from') to indicate cause. Suggestion: Use 'I don't want to feel' + comparative adjective + 'because of' to show cause.

× Definitely when I listen to uplifting cheerful music it do feel make me feel very excited and I will unintentionally move and wave my body.

✓ Definitely, when I listen to uplifting, cheerful music it does make me feel very excited and I unintentionally move and wave my body.

Multiple issues: 'do' is incorrect for third-person singular subject 'it'; use 'does'. The phrase 'do feel make me feel' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'does make me feel'. 'Will unintentionally' is acceptable but simple present 'unintentionally move' fits habitual actions better. Also add a comma and 'does' to fix subject-verb agreement and remove redundancy. Suggestion: For habitual reactions use present simple ('it does make me feel' and 'I unintentionally move').