Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Also correct phrase usage (e.g., “I prefer happy music” not “I give preference to for the happy music”).

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and refreshes my mind. For example, upbeat songs help me concentrate while studying and make commuting more enjoyable.

提案: Organize your response: give a direct answer, then one or two clear supporting points with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid vague phrases and filler words. Use specific examples of how music affects you.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited. For instance, upbeat songs increase my energy and motivation when I exercise, and they help me feel more positive before a busy day.

× Well, I give preference to for the happy music because I think it gives a lot of pleasure to the person and also refreshes the mind.

✓ Well, I prefer happy music because I think it gives a lot of pleasure to a person and also refreshes the mind.

The phrase 'give preference to' is followed directly by the object without 'for'; simpler verb 'prefer' is more natural. 'the person' is incorrect general reference; use 'a person'. Remove redundant preposition 'to' after 'preference' when using 'give preference to' but better to use 'prefer' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'prefer X' or 'give preference to X' (no extra 'for'), and use 'a person' for a general individual.

× And uh, I think yes, I give a preference to listen the happy music rather than the sad music.

✓ And, uh, I think yes, I prefer to listen to happy music rather than sad music.

After 'prefer' when followed by a verb, use the infinitive form 'to listen' and the verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' for its object. Also use 'happy music' and 'sad music' without articles for general categories. Suggestion: say 'prefer to listen to X' or 'prefer X to Y.'

× Definitely happy and cheerful songs makes me so much happier and yes, it refreshes my brain and moreover, I think person can feel so much motive towards anything if they have listened uh good music and I think it enhance their pleasure of to their soul.

✓ Definitely happy and cheerful songs make me much happier, and yes, they refresh my brain. Moreover, I think a person can feel much more motivated towards anything if they have listened to good music, and I think it enhances the pleasure of their soul.

'Songs' is plural, so the verb should be 'make' not 'makes' (subject-verb agreement). 'It refreshes my brain' should refer back to 'songs' so use 'they refresh my brain'. 'Person' needs an article 'a person'. 'Feel so much motive' is unnatural; use 'feel much more motivated'. 'Listened' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by the object. 'Enhance' must be 'enhances' to agree with singular 'it' or better 'it enhances' referring to music; in the revised sentence 'I think it enhances the pleasure of their soul' changed to 'enhances the pleasure of their soul' agreeing with singular 'it' (music) or keep subject consistent. Also remove extraneous 'of to' and fix 'their' to match 'a person' (singular 'they' acceptable). Suggestions: ensure subject and verb agree in number, use correct prepositions ('listen to'), and choose appropriate adjective/verb forms like 'motivated' and 'enhances'.

× So definitely I really like to have I.

✓ So definitely I really like to have it.

The original sentence has wrong word order and uses 'I' where the pronoun 'it' (referring to music) is needed. 'Like to have it' is odd but acceptable; more natural alternatives: 'So definitely I really like it' or 'So I really like listening to it.' Suggestion: use correct object pronoun and clearer verb phrase: 'I really like it' or 'I really like listening to it.'