Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more natural, grammatically correct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g. ‘happy happy’, ‘gives me’, ‘bothered’). For example, say you prefer upbeat music because it improves your mood and gives you energy, and mention a specific situation when you choose different types of music.

例: I prefer happy, upbeat music because it lifts my mood and gives me energy, especially in summer. However, when I’m stressed or tired I sometimes listen to electronic or chill-out tracks to relax and refocus.

提案: Clarify your main point and use correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Begin with a direct answer (Yes/No) and follow with concise, specific supporting details linked logically. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. ‘Chess happy music left my mood’, ‘study a creative test’). Use examples of activities that happy music influences and explain how.

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited. For instance, cheerful songs often make me want to dance or sing along, and they boost my energy so I walk faster or concentrate better when I’m doing creative tasks.

× I prefer happy happy music because I love my moods and gives me energy for the summer.

✓ I prefer happy music because it matches my mood and gives me energy for the summer.

The sentence uses 'happy happy' redundantly and mixes singular/plural agreement and pronoun reference: 'love my moods' is awkward; 'gives' requires a singular subject. Replacing with 'I prefer happy music' removes redundancy, using 'it' as the subject for 'gives' ensures correct agreement. Also change 'love my moods' to 'matches my mood' for natural expression.

× When I feel stressed or tired, I often listen to both or electronic dance track to be more bothered and motivated.

✓ When I feel stressed or tired, I often listen to both pop and electronic dance tracks to feel less bothered and more motivated.

There is incorrect usage of 'both or' and singular/plural mismatch: 'electronic dance track' should be plural 'tracks' when referring in general. 'To be more bothered' is opposite meaning; use 'to feel less bothered'. Also 'both' needs two items (e.g., 'pop and electronic dance tracks'). Adjusting verbs 'listen' + 'to' stay correct; 'feel' matches intent.

× Chess happy music left my mood and made me want to dance or sing along, and I often feel more energized and motivated to walk faster or study a creative test when a lessons do happy sounds.

✓ Happy music lifts my mood and makes me want to dance or sing along, and I often feel more energized and motivated to walk faster or study more creatively when lessons have upbeat music.

The original has several structural and word-choice errors: 'Chess' is incorrect; likely 'Such' or nothing. 'Left my mood' should be 'lifts my mood' (present-tense habit). 'Makes' must agree with singular 'music'. 'Study a creative test' is unnatural; use 'study more creatively'. 'When a lessons do happy sounds' is ungrammatical: 'lessons' plural with 'have upbeat music' is correct. Overall rewording fixes verb tense, subject-verb agreement, word choice, and sentence flow.