Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct common errors (e.g., “sad song” → “sad songs”, “feel me to make make me feel better” → “helps me feel better”). Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer different types of music depending on my mood. For example, when I’m sad I often listen to sad songs because they help me process my feelings, whereas when I’m in a good mood I choose upbeat songs to keep my energy up.

提案: Give a fluent, grammatically correct response that uses linking words and specific examples. Begin with a clear yes/no and a brief reason, then add one or two concrete effects of happy music. Fix vocabulary errors (e.g., “I pay music” → “I play music” or “I listen to music”; “beasts” → “beats”). Keep sentences natural and avoid fragments.

例: Yes — happy music definitely excites me because the fast tempo and strong beat boost my energy. For instance, when I listen to upbeat pop or dance music while exercising, I feel more motivated and focused, and my mood improves quickly.

× Actually, I prefer hearing music according to my situation.

✓ Actually, I prefer to listen to music according to my situation.

The verb 'prefer' is commonly followed by an infinitive (to + verb) or a gerund; both are possible but 'prefer to listen' is more natural here. Also 'listen to' is the correct verb + preposition collocation for music. Suggestion: use 'prefer to listen to music' or 'prefer listening to music'.

× Whenever I feel sad, I prefer to hear sad song and more often I feel like hearing happy song because hearing a happy song feel me to make make me feel better.

✓ Whenever I feel sad, I prefer to hear sad songs, and more often I feel like hearing happy songs because hearing a happy song makes me feel better.

Multiple errors: 'song' should be plural ('songs') when speaking generally. The clause needed a conjunction 'and' with a comma. 'Hearing a happy song feel me to make make me feel better' contains a wrong verb form and word order; use 'makes me feel better' because 'make' must agree with singular subject 'a happy song' (third person singular), and 'feel me' is incorrect. Also remove duplicated 'make'. Suggestion: use plural 'songs' for general preference and use 'makes me feel better' for correct subject-verb agreement and word order.

× Yes, I pay music. Help me to process my emotion.

✓ Yes, music helps me to process my emotions.

'I pay music' is incorrect and likely intended meaning is that music helps; use 'music helps me'. The original had a sentence fragment 'Help me to process my emotion.' which should be combined and pluralize 'emotion' to 'emotions' for general feelings. Suggestion: use one coherent sentence 'Music helps me to process my emotions.'

× The beasts of the music uplift my spirit and make me feel better.

✓ The beats of the music uplift my spirits and make me feel better.

'Beasts' is a wrong word; the intended word is 'beats' (rhythmic elements). 'Spirit' in this context is usually plural 'spirits'. Also keep parallel structure 'uplift my spirits and make me feel better.' Suggestion: use 'beats' and 'spirits.'

× Also it refresh my mind and makes me motivated.

✓ Also, it refreshes my mind and makes me feel motivated.

Subject-verb agreement: 'it refresh' should be 'it refreshes'. Adding a comma after 'Also' improves clarity. 'Makes me motivated' is understandable but more natural is 'makes me feel motivated.' Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with singular subject 'it' and use 'refreshes' and 'makes me feel motivated.'

× I feel energetic when I feel the beat of happy music.

✓ I feel energetic when I hear the beat of happy music.

Repeating 'feel' is stylistically weak; use 'hear the beat' to refer to perceiving rhythm, which is more natural. Tense remains present. Suggestion: say 'I feel energetic when I hear the beat of happy music.'