Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific reason with concise supporting detail. Avoid tense and article errors, and keep to 2–3 sentences. Use linking words like "because" or "so" correctly.

例: I prefer happy music. I usually listen to upbeat songs because they help me relax and lift my mood after a long day at school.

提案: Give a direct yes/no answer and follow with a clear reason and a specific example. Remove filler words and correct grammar (verb forms, articles). Use a linking phrase such as "because" or "for example" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because its fast tempo and upbeat lyrics energize me. For example, I often play lively pop songs after work to feel more alert and positive.

× I am really into happy music because it helped me feel more comfortable and funny after a long day school.

✓ I am really into happy music because it helps me feel more comfortable and happier after a long school day.

The sentence mixes tenses: 'I am really into' is present while 'helped' is past. Use present simple 'helps' to match ongoing preference. 'funny' is wrong adjective for a feeling; use 'happier'. Also add article 'a' before 'long school day' and reorder to 'long school day' for natural word order.

× Yes, I sure uh where I want to umm to realize I often uh, listening to music because it help me choose and more comfortable after a long day work.

✓ Yes, I do. I often listen to music because it helps me relax and feel more comfortable after a long day at work.

The original contains fillers and disfluent fragments. 'I often listening' is incorrect structure; use present simple 'I often listen'. 'it help' should be 'it helps' to agree with third-person singular (music helps). 'choose' is likely wrong word; replaced with 'relax'. Add preposition 'at' in 'at work' and reorder phrase to 'long day at work' for natural English.