Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자주 반복되고 문법과 어휘가 혼동되어 의사 전달이 명확하지 않습니다. 응답은 직접적인 주제문(예: "Yes, I do")으로 시작하고, 왜 그 선생님을 좋아하는지 구체적인 이유(가르치는 방식, 지원, 성과 등)를 2~3개의 간결한 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 연결어(for example, because, so) 등을 사용해 문장을 논리적으로 연결하고 불필요한 중복 표현(예: I prepare when I prepare)을 제거하세요.

例: Yes, I do. My favorite teacher is my English teacher at IH because she was very patient and explained things clearly. For example, she gave me useful feedback on my speaking and encouraged me to practice outside class, which helped me improve quickly.

提案: 생각은 전달되지만 문장이 어색하고 중복이 많습니다. 먼저 간단한 주제문으로 시작하세요(예: "Yes, I want to be a professor"). 그 다음 이유를 1~2개의 명확한 문장으로 설명하고, 현재의 상황(PhD를 하고 있음)을 연결어로 자연스럽게 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 반복과 어구(I'm doing on I'm doing)를 바로잡으세요.

例: Yes, I want to be a professor in the future. I am currently doing a PhD, so becoming a professor fits my career goals. Also, I enjoy research and teaching, which makes academia an ideal path for me.

提案: 핵심은 전달되지만 문법(tense, articles)과 중복 문제가 있습니다. 주제문으로 시작한 뒤(Yes, I remember a teacher), 그 선생님을 기억하는 구체적 이유(친절함, 명확한 설명 방식)와 한 가지 예시를 덧붙이세요. 단수/복수와 시제에 주의하고 단어 반복을 피하세요.

例: Yes, I remember one teacher from when I was 15. She taught science very clearly and was extremely kind, so her lessons were easy to follow and enjoyable.

提案: 의도는 이해되지만 문장이 비문이며 논리 흐름이 불분명합니다. 간단한 주제문(No, I'm not)으로 시작하고 이유를 1~2문장으로 분명히 제시하세요(예: 이사, 연락처 없음). 과거 상황은 과거 시제로, 현재 결과는 현재 시제로 표현하세요.

例: No, I'm not still in touch with them. I moved after elementary school and I didn't have their phone numbers, so I haven't been able to contact them.

提案: 응답이 매우 불명확하고 문장이 완성되지 않았습니다. 질문에 대해 구체적인 도움의 방식(예: 진로 상담, 추천서 작성, 학습법 지도 등)을 한두 문장으로 명확히 설명하세요. 연결어(when, so, for example)를 사용해 시간과 결과를 분명히 하세요.

例: When I was choosing a university, my favorite teacher helped me by discussing my career goals and advising which programs suited me best. She also wrote a recommendation letter, which was very helpful.

提案: 의견은 표현되었지만 문법과 논리적 전개가 부족합니다. 명확한 주제문(No, I prefer my high school teachers)을 제시하고 이유를 구체적으로 1~2문장으로 설명하세요(예: 고등학교 선생님들이 더 전문적이었고 많은 것을 가르쳐주었다 등). 불필요한 반복( I don't know )은 피하세요.

例: No, I prefer my high school teachers. They taught me more advanced subjects and helped me understand important study skills that I didn't have in primary school.

× Yeah, I have favorite teacher, uh, my English teacher for IH because, umm, I prepare when I prepare since I since I prepared, I urge with her or she's very kindly teach me.

✓ Yeah, I have a favorite teacher, my English teacher for IH, because when I was preparing, I worked with her and she was very kind and taught me well.

The student omitted the article 'a' before 'favorite teacher' and used awkward verb forms. Use 'a favorite teacher' for singular countable nouns. The tense should be past when referring to preparation that already happened: 'when I was preparing' and 'I worked with her.' Use correct adjective form 'kind' (not 'kindly') and past tense 'taught' instead of 'teach'. 수정 제안: 'a'와 같은 관사를 추가하고 동사의 시제를 과거로 맞추세요. 'kind'는 형용사이고 'taught'는 과거 분사/과거형입니다.

× Yeah, I think similarly. Yeah, I, I want to be teacher especially professor because I'm doing on I'm doing PhD student, PhD degree. So in the future I want to be professor. It this this job also.

✓ Yeah, I think so. I want to be a teacher, especially a professor, because I'm doing a PhD. In the future I want to be a professor; I also like this job.

Missing articles before 'teacher' and 'professor' and incorrect phrasing 'doing on I'm doing PhD student, PhD degree.' Use 'doing a PhD' or 'doing a PhD degree' and include 'a' before countable nouns. Simplify repetitive words. 수정 제안: 'a' 관사를 추가하고 'doing a PhD'처럼 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요. 반복은 제거하세요.

× Yes, I have one our teachers might remember because she is very kindness and she's explain, explain this very clearly how she teaches science, science when I was 15 years old.

✓ Yes, I have one teacher I remember because she was very kind and she explained science very clearly when I was 15 years old.

Incorrect adjective form 'kindness' should be 'kind' and incorrect verb tense 'she's explain' should be past simple 'she explained' since the action occurred in the past. Also remove extra words and use singular 'one teacher I remember.' 수정 제안: 형용사 'kind'를 사용하고 과거 사건에는 과거형 동사 'explained'를 쓰세요.

× No, I never contact with them because our winner was elementary school. I was very well so and I didn't have cell phone so I can't save their phone number so I didn't contact so far.

✓ No, I never contacted them because our school was an elementary school. I was very young and I didn't have a cell phone, so I couldn't save their phone numbers and haven't contacted them so far.

Use correct verb 'contacted' (past) and preposition: 'contact someone' not 'contact with someone.' 'Winner' is incorrect word; likely 'when I was in elementary school' or 'our school was an elementary school.' 'I was very young' fits context. Use past inability 'couldn't' and present perfect 'haven't contacted' for continuing state. 수정 제안: 'contact'는 목적어와 직접 쓰며 시제를 과거로 바꾸고 'couldn't'를 사용하세요. 'when I was in elementary school' 등 정확한 표현으로 수정하세요.

× Umm yeah oh when I was a high school or I have to choose universities at the time or the teacher explain what is my dreams so.

✓ When I was in high school and had to choose universities, the teacher explained what my dreams were.

Use 'was in high school' for being a student, and past tense 'had to choose' and 'explained' because these are past events. Word order for 'what my dreams were' should follow reported speech word order. 수정 제안: 과거 상황을 말할 때 모든 동사를 과거형으로 맞추고 간접 의문문에서는 'what my dreams were' 같은 순서를 사용하세요.

× No, I love the high school more high school teachers teacher more than primary school teacher because when I was a primary student, uh, I don't know. I don't know some, I don't know many things. So and a high school teacher.

✓ No, I prefer my high school teachers to my primary school teachers because when I was in primary school I didn't know many things, and high school teachers helped me more.

Use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'love the high school more ... more than'. Match plural 'teachers' for both groups. Use past tense 'didn't know' for past state. Clarify sentence to show comparison correctly. 수정 제안: 비교 대상을 말할 때 'prefer A to B' 구조를 사용하고 복수를 일치시키세요. 과거 상태는 과거형으로 표현하세요.