Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and complete your sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the teacher and one reason, then add one specific example with linking words. Avoid fragments and repetition. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., “Her name is…”).

例: My favourite high school teacher was Mrs. Collins because she made lessons interesting and explained difficult topics clearly. For example, when we struggled with algebra, she used real-life problems and step-by-step diagrams, which helped me understand the methods much faster.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then one or two clear reasons with improved grammar and linking words. Correct phrases like “I am not a patient person” and avoid vague phrases like “some students.” Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: To be honest, I don't want to be a teacher in the future because I am not a patient person. Moreover, I prefer a job that involves less supervision of children since I find one-on-one care tiring. Therefore, teaching would not suit my personality.

提案: Combine sentences to make a clear, single response: name the teacher, give a reason, and add a specific example using linking words. Fix tense consistency (use past tense for past teachers) and avoid repetition. Finish your example sentence.

例: Yes, I still remember my favourite teacher, Miss Carter, because she made lessons engaging and explained difficult topics clearly. For example, when we studied chemistry, she performed simple experiments in class, which helped me understand abstract concepts immediately.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, then give concise reasons with linking words and correct small errors (e.g., “smartphone”, “that's a pity”). Keep it natural and avoid unnecessary repetition. You can add a short reflection.

例: Unfortunately, no — I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers because I didn't have a smartphone or their contact details back then. As a result, I have had no way to contact them, which is a pity because I would like to thank them now.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating the specific help, then add one concrete detail about how it improved you, using linking words and correct grammar (e.g., “spent”, “writing skills”). Keep it concise and specific.

例: My favourite teacher used to spend extra time after class helping me with my writing, which greatly improved my grammar and structure. As a result, my English grades rose noticeably the following term.

提案: State a clear preference in the topic sentence, then explain with one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid broken sentences and redundancies; correct grammar (e.g., “give me more help” and “I remember them more clearly”).

例: I prefer my high school teachers because they had more time to communicate with me and gave me more individual help. Consequently, I remember them more clearly than my primary school teachers.

× Her name or I like her because she made lessons interesting and she explained difficult things clearly.

✓ Her name is ... I like her because she made lessons interesting and explained difficult things clearly.

The original sentence mixes two clauses without proper connectors and lacks the verb 'is' after 'Her name'. This is a sentence structure error. Insert 'is' to complete the noun phrase 'Her name is ...' and separate into two clear sentences or connect with a conjunction. Also remove the repeated subject 'she' in the second clause for conciseness: 'explained' suffices.

× For example, she spent.

✓ For example, she spent extra time helping students after class.

The original fragment 'For example, she spent.' is an incomplete sentence (sentence structure error) because 'spent' requires an object and additional information. Provide what she spent and why to complete the thought.

× To be honest, I don't want to be a teacher in future because I think I don't a patient people.

✓ To be honest, I don't want to be a teacher in the future because I don't think I am a patient person.

Errors include missing article 'the' with 'future' (future tense context) and incorrect word order and form: 'I think I don't a patient people' is ungrammatical. The correct structure is 'I don't think I am a patient person.' This fixes verb presence ('am') and singular noun 'person'.

× I don't want to spend more time with children or some students.

✓ I don't want to spend a lot more time with children or students.

This sentence is mostly acceptable, but 'some students' is awkward here. Use 'students' or 'a lot more time' for clarity. No major grammatical change to verb form is required; adjustment improves naturalness.

× Yes, I do. I have a favorite teacher her name was Miss Carter I liked her because she made lessons interesting and she explained things clearly so I understood the difficult topics better For example, she.

✓ Yes, I do. My favorite teacher was Miss Carter. I liked her because she made lessons interesting and explained things clearly, so I understood difficult topics better. For example, she spent extra time helping me with homework.

Original combines several clauses without proper punctuation and mixes present and past tense awkwardly. Break into sentences and use past tense consistently ('was', 'liked', 'made', 'explained'). Add missing punctuation and complete the fragment 'For example, she.' with a full example.

× When I was in primary school, I didn't have smart phone, so I didn't have the teacher's phone number or WeChat.

✓ When I was in primary school, I didn't have a smartphone, so I didn't have the teachers' phone numbers or WeChat.

'Smart phone' should be one word 'smartphone' (article usage and compound noun). 'The teacher's phone number' suggests one teacher; plural 'teachers' and plural 'phone numbers' fit the context. Use plural possessive 'teachers'' for multiple teachers.

× I have no chance to communicate with them nowadays.

✓ I have no chance to communicate with them nowadays.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable but sounds slightly unnatural. For natural phrasing, 'I have no chance to communicate with them nowadays' is acceptable; alternatively, 'I don't have any chance to contact them now.' No structure change required.

× That's so pity, I think.

✓ That's a pity, I think.

'So pity' is incorrect. Use the noun phrase 'a pity' to express regret. 'So' is an adverb and doesn't combine correctly with 'pity' here.

× In my memory, my favorite teacher spend her extra time after class helping with my writing and that really improved my grades.

✓ In my memory, my favorite teacher spent her extra time after class helping with my writing, and that really improved my grades.

The verb 'spend' should be in past tense 'spent' to agree with the past narrative. This is a past tense issue. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity.

× Maybe I prefer my high school school teachers because they have more time to communicate with me and give me more. Helps I remembered them more clearly.

✓ Maybe I prefer my high school teachers because they had more time to communicate with me and helped me more. I remember them more clearly.

The original has repeated 'school', an incorrect split sentence 'give me more. Helps', and inconsistent tense. Use past tense 'had' and 'helped' if referring to past, or present tense 'have'/'help' if general. Combine into coherent sentences and correct word order.