Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more precise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “central during election”), correct grammar (easy-going), and limit to 3–4 concise sentences. Add a specific example of what she did and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, my favorite teacher was my secondary school English teacher. She was very easy-going and always explained difficult tasks clearly, which made learning fun. For example, she used games and stories to help us understand grammar, so I felt more confident in class.

提案: Make your answer direct and correct grammar and word choice (e.g. “I want to be a doctor” and “save people’s lives”). Give a brief reason and one supporting detail using a linking word like “because” or “however.” Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I want to become a doctor because I want to save people’s lives. I think teaching is important but it seems emotionally demanding, and I prefer a medical career where I can help patients directly.

提案: Clarify and correct word choice and grammar (e.g. “treated students kindly and patiently”). Provide one specific memory or example that shows why you remember them, and use linking words to add coherence.

例: Yes, I still remember my primary school teachers because they were like second mothers to me. For example, one teacher helped me every day after class with reading, showing great patience and kindness, so I still miss her guidance.

提案: This answer is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Give a direct response (yes or no), then a short reason with clear phrasing (e.g. “I lost touch because we moved away and they have busy lives now”). Limit to 2 sentences and use linking words like “because” or “so.”

例: No, I have lost touch with most of them because we moved to different cities and they are busy with their own lives now.

提案: Be specific about how the help improved you and correct incomplete phrases (e.g. “to cheer me up” or “to help me remember the lesson”). Use a linking word such as “for example” and give one concrete example of a method she used.

例: She helped me by explaining difficult topics clearly and then telling a funny story to make the ideas memorable. For example, she used a humorous story about a character who made grammar mistakes, which helped me remember the rules.

提案: This is a good, concise answer. To improve further, add one specific example of how a high school teacher inspired you and use a linking word to connect your points. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I prefer my high school teachers because they sparked my interest in subjects like English and science. For instance, my physics teacher set up simple experiments in class, which encouraged me to ask questions and pursue science more seriously.

× She was incredibly easy going and central during election.

✓ She was incredibly easygoing and calm during elections.

The phrase 'easy going' should be the adjective 'easygoing' as one word. 'Central during election' is unclear; likely intended meaning is 'calm' or 'supportive' and 'election' should be plural 'elections' or preceded by an article. Revise to 'calm during elections' to be natural and grammatically correct.

× No, I always want to become a doctor in the future because I would like to save peaceful life.

✓ No, I have always wanted to become a doctor because I would like to save lives and promote peace.

Use 'have always wanted' to express a continuous desire up to now. 'Save peaceful life' is ungrammatical; use 'save lives' and add 'promote peace' or similar to convey 'peaceful life.' Ensure plural 'lives' when speaking generally.

× By contrast, I always think that teaching is a difficult occupation because teachers have to be patient.

✓ However, I also think that teaching is a difficult occupation because teachers must be patient.

'By contrast' is not appropriate after saying you want to be a doctor; 'however' or 'also' fits better. Use 'must be patient' or 'need to be patient' instead of 'have to be patient' to vary modal use; both are acceptable but 'must' emphasizes necessity.

× Yes, I still remember my primary school teachers because they were like second mothers to me.

✓ Yes, I still remember my primary school teachers because they were like second mothers to me.

Sentence is grammatical; no change needed. Included here only to confirm it meets the allowed list.

× They not only touched but also treated students with their kindness and patient.

✓ They not only supported but also treated students with kindness and patience.

'Touched' is vague; 'supported' or 'helped' is clearer. 'Their kindness and patient' is incorrect: 'patient' is an adjective; the noun 'patience' is required, and the possessive 'their' is unnecessary with abstract nouns. Use 'with kindness and patience.'

× Now I've completely lost touch with all our details over the years because we all get. Really, with your with their own lives.

✓ Now I've completely lost touch with them over the years because we all got busy with our own lives.

Original is fragmented and ungrammatical. 'Lost touch with all our details' is incorrect; use 'lost touch with them.' 'We all get' is incomplete; change to 'we all got busy with our own lives' to express why contact stopped. Maintain past tense 'got' to match 'over the years.'

× When I have had some difficulties, she always explained it very clearly.

✓ When I had difficulties, she always explained them very clearly.

Mixing present perfect 'have had' with 'always explained' is inconsistent; use simple past 'had' since teacher's actions are past. 'It' should be 'them' to match plural 'difficulties.' Add 'very clearly' placement is fine.

× After that, she would tell a story, a funny story to make me.

✓ After that, she would tell a funny story to cheer me up.

'To make me' is incomplete; likely intended 'to cheer me up' or 'to make me laugh.' Combine 'a story, a funny story' into 'a funny story' for conciseness and clarity.

× Do you like your primary school teachers more than your high school teachers?

✓ Do you like your primary school teachers more than your high school teachers?

Question is grammatical; no change needed. Included to indicate it meets the list.

× No, I prefer my high school teachers because they sparked my interest in subjects like English or science.

✓ No, I prefer my high school teachers because they sparked my interest in subjects like English and science.

Use 'and' rather than 'or' when listing multiple subjects the speaker liked. Otherwise sentence is correct.

× They were role models who encouraged me to ask questions and gave supportive feedback.

✓ They were role models who encouraged me to ask questions and gave supportive feedback.

Sentence is acceptable; 'supportive feedback' is natural. Included to confirm correctness.