Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and word choices, avoid redundancy, and limit to 3–4 sentences. Use linking words (for example, because) and give one specific example of a game or activity.

例: Yes. My favorite teacher is my U.S. history teacher because his lessons are engaging and often include interactive games. For example, he runs a weekly historical debate in class which helps us remember facts and think critically.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and tidy grammar. Use correct pronouns and concise reasons (two at most) with linking words (because, so). Be specific about what aspects of the alternative job attract you.

例: No, I wouldn’t like to be a teacher because the salary is unlikely to support my family. Instead, I want to become a diplomat because the job pays better and offers opportunities to work on international relations.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence, fix tense and noun issues, and give one clear specific memory with a linking word (for example or because). Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I remember my primary school history teacher. Although he was shy, he taught stories about the past in a funny and clear way, which made the lessons unforgettable.

提案: Answer directly and avoid filler words. Correct word order and tense, and give one brief reason with a linking word (because). Replace vague phrases with concise explanation of feelings or circumstances.

例: No, I am not in touch with my primary school teachers because I feel shy and find it awkward to contact them now.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence describing one or two concrete ways the teacher helped you. Avoid unclear or incorrect phrases (e.g. “without any payments”). Use linking words (for example, by, because) and provide a specific example of help or support.

例: He has helped me by explaining difficult historical events clearly and by using fun activities to make them memorable. For example, he organized role-play exercises that improved my understanding and confidence.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer, then give one specific reason with linking words (because, since). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like “premise primary”. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use precise adjectives (humorous, entertaining).

例: No, I prefer my high school teachers because they are more engaging. For example, my favorite high school teacher used humor and interactive activities to make lessons interesting.

× Yes, I do have a favorite teacher who's teaching U.S. history and he's teaching way is quite interesting, amusing and so stirring.

✓ Yes, I have a favorite teacher who teaches U.S. history; his teaching style is quite interesting, amusing, and inspiring.

Original contains awkward present continuous 'who's teaching' and repeated 'he's teaching way' which is ungrammatical. Use simple present 'who teaches' for habitual actions. 'Teaching style' is the correct noun phrase; 'so stirring' is informal and 'inspiring' is clearer.

× For instance, he always play games with us to help us apprehend the knowledge more and more and I always ask him some question.

✓ For instance, he always plays games with us to help us understand the material better, and I always ask him some questions.

Subject 'he' requires third person singular verb 'plays' not 'play'. 'Apprehend the knowledge' is unnatural; use 'understand the material'. 'Some question' should be plural 'some questions' to match context.

× No, I don't want to be a teacher because I don't think he would pay enough for me to financially support my mother.

✓ No, I don't want to be a teacher because I don't think it would pay me enough to financially support my mother.

Original uses 'he would pay' which misuses pronoun and suggests the teacher pays. Use 'it would pay me' to refer to the job. Also phrasing 'pay enough for me' is awkward — use 'pay me enough'.

× Instead, I would like to become a diplomat and work in the Chinese Foreign Service because the job offers better payments and a chance to be involved in international.

✓ Instead, I would like to become a diplomat and work in the Chinese Foreign Service because the job offers better pay and a chance to be involved in international affairs.

Use 'pay' not 'payments' for general compensation. 'Involved in international' is incomplete — the correct collocation is 'involved in international affairs'.

× Yes, I still remember a teacher from my primary school who told me history.

✓ Yes, I still remember a teacher from my primary school who taught me history.

Past action requires past tense 'taught' not 'told'. 'Tell history' is incorrect; 'teach history' or 'taught me history' is correct.

× He was very shy and reserved, but he explained his histories in a funny way about the past, so clearly there.

✓ He was very shy and reserved, but he explained history in a funny and very clear way.

'His histories' is incorrect; use 'history'. 'In a funny way about the past, so clearly there' is awkward and redundant. Combine into 'funny and very clear' to convey clarity and humor.

× I remember them even now.

✓ I still remember him now.

Pronoun mismatch: 'them' refers to plural but teacher is singular. Use 'him'. 'Even now' can be 'now' or 'even now' — 'still remember him now' is concise.

× No, I don't keep in touch with my primary school teachers before because I think it's quite embarrassing and awkward, you know?

✓ No, I don't keep in touch with my primary school teachers because I think it's quite embarrassing and awkward.

'Before' is unnecessary when saying a current habit. 'Keep in touch with ... before' is ungrammatical. Remove 'before' to express present situation.

× I mean, uh, introverts. I'm quite shy and have difficulty uh, talking and chatting with each others with my teachers before.

✓ I mean, I'm an introvert. I'm quite shy and have difficulty talking and chatting with my teachers.

'Introverts' should be singular 'an introvert' to describe self. 'Each others' is incorrect; use 'each other' for mutual action, but here unnecessary — say 'with my teachers'. Remove 'before'.

× While there are numerous ways my favorite teacher has helped me.

✓ There are numerous ways my favorite teacher has helped me.

Beginning with 'While' creates a sentence fragment because it expects a contrast clause. Remove 'While' to form a complete sentence.

× For instance, my favorite teacher is teaching history right? So he's often, uh, told me of the class without any payments and his big fan of teaching uh history in a amusing way.

✓ For instance, my favorite teacher teaches history. He has often given me extra help outside class for free and is a big fan of teaching history in an amusing way.

Use simple present 'teaches' for habitual facts. 'He's often told me of the class' is ungrammatical—use 'has often given me extra help outside class'. 'Without any payments' -> 'for free'. 'His big fan' -> 'is a big fan'.

× No, really. As well as mentioned, my favorite teacher is one of my high school teachers.

✓ No, really. As I mentioned, my favorite teacher is one of my high school teachers.

Phrase 'As well as mentioned' is incorrect; correct expression is 'As I mentioned'.

× So I'm a big fan of my high school teacher and I prefer my high school teacher compared with my premise primary school teachers because all of them are humorous and funny.

✓ So I'm a big fan of my high school teacher and I prefer my high school teachers to my primary school teachers because they are all humorous and funny.

Use 'prefer X to Y' not 'prefer X compared with Y'. 'Premise primary school teachers' is incorrect — 'primary school teachers'. Consistent pluralization: 'my high school teachers' or 'my high school teacher' earlier; choose plural to compare groups. 'All of them are humorous and funny' -> 'they are all humorous and funny'.