Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and personal, gives specific examples and stays mostly concise. To improve, correct small vocabulary errors (e.g., “Friends” capitalized, “slings” -> “slang”), tighten sentences to avoid redundancy, and use one linking phrase to connect ideas (e.g., “For example,” or “Because of this,”). Also keep within 3–5 sentences by combining shorter ideas more smoothly.

例: My favorite teacher was my high school English teacher because she made lessons fun. For example, she played clips from Friends and taught us slang through scenes instead of only using vocabulary lists, which helped us learn how language is actually used. Because of her approach, I always enjoyed English class and participated more.

提案: The answer contains relevant ideas but is unclear in places and has vocabulary mistakes (“Be sure to be honest” is out of context; “because of your health” is wrong). Improve by starting with a clear topic sentence stating whether you want to be a teacher, then give one specific reason and one concern. Use linking words (e.g., “However,”) and correct word choice (e.g., “because of your help” or “because of you”). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I’m not sure I want to be a teacher full time. I like that teachers can help students grow — for example, it’s rewarding when someone finally understands a topic they once struggled with and gains confidence because of your help. However, I worry I might not have enough patience to teach all day.

提案: Good personal story and specific detail (the encouraging comment). Reduce filler words (“actually,” “umm,” “so”) and correct tense/point of view issues (“I felt like when you were a kid” -> “when you’re a kid” or “when I was a kid”). Use one linking phrase to emphasize the effect (e.g., “As a result,”). Keep it concise (3–4 sentences).

例: Yes — I still remember my primary school Chinese teacher. He was very supportive and once told me he believed I would do something amazing in the future. When you’re a kid, comments like that matter a lot, and I’m still grateful because it boosted my confidence.

提案: Answer is clear and specific about reasons (moving cities) and gives an anecdote, but contains informal language and an out-of-place phrase (“In what?”). Improve by removing the stray phrase, using slightly more formal connectors (e.g., “because”), and finishing with a concise closing thought (e.g., “I should visit them more often”).

例: No, I’m not still in touch with most of them because I’ve moved to different cities. I did visit one teacher once when I was in middle school, but that was the only time. I feel I should visit more often because they would really appreciate it.

提案: This answer has a clear topic sentence and a specific example, which is good. Improve by correcting small phrasing errors (“forgot where I was at” -> “forgot what to say” or “lost my place”; “so I felt like I would” is incomplete). Use a linking word (“For example,”) and finish with a clear result (“I felt more confident afterwards”). Keep to 3–4 sentences.

例: She helped me become much more confident. For example, I used to be afraid of speaking English because I worried about my pronunciation, but she was always encouraging. Once, during a presentation I forgot what to say and she stepped in to help me continue, which made me feel more confident speaking in public.

提案: The idea (valuing both for different reasons) is good, but the answer has several grammar and word-choice errors (“from different reasons” -> “for different reasons”; “protect me” -> “protected me”; “purple young adult” is incorrect). Make a clear topic sentence, then give two concise, specific contrasts using correct vocabulary and a linking phrase (“On the other hand,”). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I don’t prefer one over the other because they helped me in different ways. My primary school teachers were nurturing and protective, which helped me feel safe, while my high school teachers treated me like a young adult and pushed me to be independent.

× My favorite teacher was probably my high school English teacher.

✓ My favorite teacher was probably my high school English teacher.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses past tense to refer to a past period (high school). This is included to show it's correct and meets tense context.

× She was super funny and never made a class feel awkward or serious all the time.

✓ She was very funny and never made the class feel awkward or overly serious.

Use 'very' instead of colloquial 'super' for formal clarity; 'a class' is incorrect here because it refers to a specific class session, so use 'the class'. 'All the time' conflicts with 'never', so replace with 'overly serious' to convey intended meaning. Suggestion: match determiners to specific nouns and avoid contradictory modifiers.

× I still remember she used to play clips from shows like friends in class and make us learn slings from them instead of only memorizing vocabulary lists, so that makes me like her a lot.

✓ I still remember she used to play clips from shows like Friends in class and made us learn slang from them instead of only memorizing vocabulary lists, so that made me like her a lot.

Proper noun 'Friends' should be capitalized. 'Make us learn slings' is incorrect; correct word is 'slang'. Use consistent past tense: 'used to play' pairs with 'made us learn' and conclude with past 'made me like her a lot' to match timeframe. Suggestion: ensure correct vocabulary and consistent verb tense.

× Be sure to be honest.

✓ I want to be honest.

The original 'Be sure to be honest' is an imperative and does not answer the question about wanting to be a teacher. To fit the question 'Do you want to be a teacher in the future?' the response should be a personal statement 'I want to be honest' or better 'To be honest, I don't know.' Suggestion: keep sentence purpose aligned with the question and use correct sentence mood.

× I like the part where teachers can help students grow and learn something new.

✓ I like that teachers can help students grow and learn new things.

'The part where' is awkward; use 'that' to introduce a clause. 'Learn something new' is acceptable but 'learn new things' is more natural. Maintain present simple tense. Suggestion: use natural connectors and pluralize general nouns.

× for example, I think it's really rewarding when someone finally understands a topic they used to struggle with or becomes more confident because of your health.

✓ For example, I think it's really rewarding when someone finally understands a topic they used to struggle with or becomes more confident because of your help.

'Because of your health' is incorrect and likely a typo; 'your help' fits context. Also capitalize sentence start. Suggestion: check pronouns and words that change meaning dramatically when mistyped.

× But at the same time, I don't know if I'm patient enough to be a teacher full time like teachers have to.

✓ But at the same time, I don't know if I'm patient enough to be a full-time teacher, as teachers have to be.

'Full time' should be hyphenated as 'full-time' when used as an adjective. The comparative clause was awkward; rephrase to 'as teachers have to be' for clarity and correct subject-verb placement. Suggestion: use hyphenation for compound adjectives and parallel clause structure.

× I still remember a lot of teachers.

✓ I still remember many teachers.

'A lot of' is informal; 'many' is more appropriate. Both are grammatically acceptable, but 'many' is concise. Keep present simple 'remember'. Suggestion: prefer 'many' in semi-formal speech.

× Actually, one of them that I still remember is my Chinese teacher at primary school.

✓ Actually, one I still remember is my Chinese teacher from primary school.

'One of them that I still remember' is wordy; 'one I still remember' is concise. 'At primary school' is acceptable but 'from primary school' is more natural. Suggestion: simplify relative clauses and use natural prepositions.

× He was very supportive and I remember one time he told me he believed that I would grow up doing something amazing.

✓ He was very supportive, and I remember one time he told me he believed I would grow up to do something amazing.

Add comma before 'and' to join clauses. Use infinitive 'to do' after 'grow up' for correct verb pattern. Suggestion: use proper verb complements after verbs like 'grow up'.

× I felt like when you were a kid, words like that matter a lot.

✓ I felt like when you are a kid, words like that matter a lot.

Shift perspective: because speaker is describing general truth, use present tense 'are' and 'matter' rather than 'were'/'matter' mismatch. Alternatively keep past consistent: 'when I was a kid, words like that mattered a lot.' Suggestion: keep tense and perspective consistent.

× It's been too long and I've moved to different cities since then.

✓ It's been a long time, and I've moved to different cities since then.

'It's been too long' is natural but informal; 'It's been a long time' is neutral. Grammatically acceptable; provided as minor stylistic correction. Suggestion: use clearer time expressions.

× I remember I visited one of my primary school teachers one time when I was in middle school, but that was the only time.

✓ I remember visiting one of my primary school teachers once when I was in middle school, but that was the only time.

Use gerund 'remember visiting' or 'I visited' consistently. 'One time' is awkward; 'once' is natural. Suggestion: prefer 'remember doing' or 'I visited' with simple past.

× I feel like I should visit more 'cause they would really appreciate it.

✓ I feel like I should visit more because they would really appreciate it.

Avoid colloquial contraction ''cause' in semi-formal responses; use 'because'. Keep modal 'would' is acceptable for hypothetical appreciation. Suggestion: use full words in formal contexts.

× In what?

✓ In what way?

'In what?' is incomplete; add noun 'way' to complete prepositional phrase and clarify question. Suggestion: use full question forms.

× I think she mainly helped me become more confident.

✓ I think she mainly helped me to become more confident.

Both forms 'helped me become' and 'helped me to become' are acceptable; adding 'to' is slightly more formal and clear. No strong error; offered stylistic correction. Suggestion: use 'to' in formal registers.

× Back then I was kind of scared of speaking English in front of people because I worried my pronunciation sounded weird, but she was always super encouraging.

✓ Back then I was kind of scared of speaking English in front of people because I worried my pronunciation sounded strange, but she was always very encouraging.

Replace colloquial 'super' with 'very' for formality; 'weird' -> 'strange' is more neutral. Tense usage is correct. Suggestion: choose neutral adjectives in tests.

× I remember one time I gave a presentation and forgot where I was at and she kind of jumped in and helped me keep on going so I felt like I would.

✓ I remember one time I gave a presentation and forgot where I was, and she jumped in and helped me keep going, so I felt like I could continue.

Remove informal 'at' after 'where I was'; 'kind of' is informal—omit. 'Keep on going' -> 'keep going'. 'Felt like I would' is vague; 'felt like I could continue' clarifies meaning and matches past tense. Suggestion: avoid filler words and complete modal expressions.

× I don't prefer one over another.

✓ I don't prefer one over the other.

Use 'the other' when comparing two groups (primary vs high school teachers). 'Another' implies an unspecified additional one. Suggestion: choose correct determiner for binary comparisons.

× I like them both from different reasons.

✓ I like them both for different reasons.

Use 'for' not 'from' with 'reasons'. Pluralize 'reasons'. Suggestion: use common prepositional collocations ('for different reasons').

× For my primary school teacher, they were nurturing and loving, always looking out for me and protect me.

✓ My primary school teacher was nurturing and loving, always looking out for me and protecting me.

Singular 'teacher' should take singular pronoun 'he/she/they' consistently, but better to repeat noun and use singular verb 'was'. Use gerund 'protecting' to parallel 'looking out'. Suggestion: keep subject-verb agreement and parallel structure.

× And the other hand, my high school teacher treated me as a purple young adult.

✓ On the other hand, my high school teacher treated me as a more mature young adult.

Use the phrase 'On the other hand' not 'And the other hand'. 'Purple' is incorrect word—likely 'proper' or 'more'; context suggests 'more mature'. Replace with 'more mature' for meaning. Suggestion: use correct discourse markers and appropriate adjectives.