Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (um, uh), and use correct verb forms and articles. Add one or two specific examples of what the teacher taught (a lesson, behaviour or incident) and use linking words (for example, because) to make the answer coherent. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes. My favorite teacher is Mr. Behera. He not only taught me nutrition concepts clearly but also showed me how to stay calm under pressure—for example, he guided me through a difficult clinical placement by modeling patient communication and giving practical feedback. Because of him I developed confidence in clinical decision-making.

提案: Organize the response with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Correct grammar (use articles, verb forms) and avoid repetition. Use linking words such as because and so to connect ideas. Keep sentences shorter and clearer.

例: Yes, I would like to teach in the future because I have nearly ten years’ experience as a dietitian and can share real clinical cases. For example, I could teach students how to assess patients’ diets and design realistic meal plans, which would help them perform better in clinical placements.

提案: Give one clear example rather than general statements. Start with a direct answer and then add a specific memory or incident involving a named teacher. Remove fillers and correct grammar (plural/singular, verb forms). Use linking words like also or for example.

例: Yes. I still remember Mr. Behera and Miss Nancy. For example, Mr. Behera taught me how to handle stressful clinical situations by practicing role‑plays, which helped me stay calm during real patient interactions. Also, Miss Nancy encouraged my research project, which boosted my academic confidence.

提案: Answer directly at the start (No, I am not) and then give one or two concise reasons. Correct vocabulary (posted, postings) and grammar (I was the daughter -> I am the daughter; unclear tense). Use linking words such as because and however to show contrast. Provide a specific example of a teacher you remember from college.

例: No, I am not still in touch with my primary school teachers because my family moved frequently when my father was posted in the army. However, I remember several college teachers—for instance, Dr. Sharma, who supervised my internship and stayed in contact with me for career advice.

提案: Be specific about the kind of help and give concrete examples. Use correct tense and pronouns (he/she/they) and avoid vague phrases. Structure with a topic sentence and one or two supporting details using linking words like for example and therefore.

例: My favourite teachers supported me academically and personally. For example, when I struggled with clinical skills, Mr. Behera gave one‑to‑one practice sessions and clear feedback, which helped me identify mistakes and improve quickly.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer (It’s hard to say or I don’t prefer one over the other). Avoid repetition and correct grammar. Give one reason and a specific contrast or example. Use linking words like because and so to clarify the point.

例: I don’t prefer one more than the other because both primary and high school teachers helped me a lot. For instance, primary teachers built my study habits, while high school teachers prepared me for professional training, so both were equally important.

× I appreciate all the mentor I get during my lifetime because just because of them I able to, umm, establish my business successfully and I always, uh, able to get the right guidance and the direction.

✓ I appreciate all the mentors I have had during my lifetime because thanks to them I was able to establish my business successfully and I have always been able to get the right guidance and direction.

Plural noun 'mentor' should be 'mentors' to match 'all'. Also 'I get' is inappropriate for past experience; 'I have had' is correct. 'Just because of them I able to' lacks auxiliary verbs and tense: use 'thanks to them I was able to'. 'I always, uh, able to get' needs auxiliary 'have been able to'. Use 'direction' without 'the' here. Suggestions: make nouns and verbs agree in number, add correct auxiliary verbs and use appropriate perfect/simple past forms for completed results.

× But here I would like to talk about one of my favorite teacher who is Mr. Behra.

✓ But here I would like to talk about one of my favorite teachers, who is Mr. Behra.

'Teacher' should be plural 'teachers' after 'one of my'. Also a comma before the clause improves clarity. Suggestion: use 'one of my favorite teachers' when selecting a single person from a group.

× I like him because he taught me not only academic but also many situation of life.

✓ I like him because he taught me not only academics but also many life lessons.

'Academic' as a noun should be plural 'academics' to refer to school subjects. 'Many situation of life' is ungrammatical; use 'many life situations' or better 'many life lessons'. Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'academics' and 'life lessons'.

× I am highly interested in teaching profession because I feel it has been almost a decade to be a dietitian and I feel I am experienced enough to deliver this information to the student.

✓ I am highly interested in the teaching profession because I have been a dietitian for almost a decade and I feel I am experienced enough to teach students.

'Teaching profession' needs the article 'the'. 'It has been almost a decade to be a dietitian' is incorrect; use present perfect 'I have been a dietitian for almost a decade'. 'Deliver this information to the student' is awkward: use 'teach students' or 'deliver this information to students'. Suggestions: use correct articles and present perfect to express duration, and use natural verb phrases for teaching.

× I really want that they will do something much better if I provide them this real clinical exposure.

✓ I really want them to do much better if I provide them with this real clinical exposure.

English uses 'want someone to do something' rather than 'want that they will'. Also add preposition 'with' after 'provide them'. The conditional result is fine without 'will'. Suggestion: use 'want someone to' and 'provide someone with' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I do remember many of my teacher because just because of them I able to, uh, perform much better in my life.

✓ Yes, I do remember many of my teachers because thanks to them I was able to perform much better in my life.

'Many of my teacher' should be 'many of my teachers' (plural). 'Just because of them I able to' lacks auxiliary and tense; use 'thanks to them I was able to'. Suggestion: ensure plural nouns after 'many of' and include appropriate auxiliary verbs.

× Uh, not only, uh, from academic point of view, but also to face with many problem that I get on daily to daily basis.

✓ Not only from an academic point of view, but also to face many problems that I encounter on a daily basis.

Add article 'an' before 'academic point of view'. 'to face with' is incorrect; use 'to face' or 'to deal with'. 'many problem' should be 'many problems'. 'I get on daily to daily basis' is ungrammatical; use 'I encounter on a daily basis'. Suggestions: use correct prepositions, plural nouns, and idiomatic phrases like 'on a daily basis'.

× And here I would like to name Mr. Behera and Miss Nancy.

✓ And here I would like to name Mr. Behera and Ms. Nancy.

This sentence is mostly correct grammatically except for title consistency: use 'Ms.' or 'Miss' depending; 'Ms.' is safer. No quantifier error originally, but corrected for politeness. Suggestion: use consistent, appropriate titles.

× Unfortunately not, I was a daughter of an army officer so we couldn't stay in one state for more than two years.

✓ Unfortunately not. I was the daughter of an army officer, so we couldn't stay in one place for more than two years.

Use 'the daughter' to specify family role. 'State' could be acceptable but 'place' sounds more natural; keep 'state' if intended. The original is a comma splice; separate into sentences or use comma with conjunction. Suggestion: use correct articles and fix run-on sentences.

× He posted to many different reason of India and I got lot of exposure from every corner of my country.

✓ He was posted to many different regions of India and I got a lot of exposure to every corner of my country.

Passive 'was posted' is required. 'reason of India' is incorrect; likely 'regions of India'. Add article 'a' before 'lot' and use 'exposure to' rather than 'from'. Suggestion: use passive forms where appropriate and correct nouns.

× But I do remember many of my teachers from my college days because during my college days.

✓ But I do remember many of my teachers from my college days.

The clause 'because during my college days' is redundant and incomplete; remove it. Suggestion: avoid repetition and incomplete clauses.

× They not only encouraged me while I did academic well, but also support me when I was not able to perform up to the mark.

✓ They not only encouraged me when I did well academically, but also supported me when I was not able to perform up to the mark.

Maintain parallel tense: both verbs should be past ('encouraged' and 'supported'). 'Did academic well' is incorrect; use 'did well academically'. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and correct adverb placement.

× Uh, so that time they helped me how I can find the situation, uh, so that I can perform much better.

✓ At that time they helped me learn how I could handle the situation so that I could perform much better.

'Helped me how I can find the situation' is ungrammatical. Use 'helped me learn how I could handle the situation'. Use past modal 'could' to match past time. Suggestion: use 'helped me learn' and match past tense modals.

× They helped me to learn from my own mistake just because of.

✓ They helped me learn from my own mistakes because of their guidance.

'My own mistake' should be plural 'mistakes' if general. The phrase 'just because of' is incomplete; specify 'because of their guidance' or remove. Suggestion: complete prepositional phrases and pluralize when referring generally.

× Do you like your primary school teachers more than your high school teachers?

✓ Do you prefer your primary school teachers to your high school teachers?

This question is acceptable but 'prefer X to Y' is more natural than 'like X more than Y' in this context. Suggestion: use 'prefer...to' for comparisons of preference.

× It is really hard to generalize because I never felt any kind of terrible situation and during my both school days I was close to my teacher and I appreciated by by all of them a lot.

✓ It is really hard to generalize because I never experienced any terrible situations; during both my school years I was close to my teachers and I was appreciated by all of them.

Multiple issues: 'felt any kind of terrible situation' should be 'experienced any terrible situations'. 'During my both school days' -> 'during both my school years'. 'I was close to my teacher' -> 'teachers' plural. 'I appreciated by by all of them' incorrect passive; use 'I was appreciated by all of them'. Suggestion: correct verb choice, pluralization, word order, and passive construction.

× That is why I have an immense interest with my study and develop a good relationship.

✓ That is why I have an immense interest in my studies and developed good relationships.

Use preposition 'interest in' not 'interest with'. 'Study' should be plural 'studies' for general academic work. Tense consistency: if referring to past relationships, use 'developed'; if ongoing, use 'develop good relationships'. Suggestion: use 'interest in' and correct noun forms and tense for clarity.