Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence naming the teacher and why you like her, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words and repetition; correct verb forms (teach → taught) and pronouns (she taught me).

例: My favourite teacher was Miss Halfa because she was very kind and patient. She taught me in Level 3 and helped me build confidence in class, for example by encouraging me to speak up during activities.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then give a concise reason with specific details. Use correct nouns (logistics) and compact linking words (because, so). Avoid repeating the same idea and unclear phrasing like "it is not my type."

例: No, I do not want to be a teacher in the future because I prefer working in logistics. For example, I enjoy planning and organizing shipments, and I think a logistics career would suit my strengths in problem-solving.

提案: Answer directly and specify one or two teachers you still remember, explain why with concrete details and use correct grammar (teachers, taught, remember). Use linking words (for example, because) to make the response coherent.

例: Yes, I still remember several teachers, especially my English and maths teachers. For example, my English teacher encouraged my speaking skills, and because I was social and active in class they often remembered me.

提案: This answer is fairly clear—improve by using smoother phrasing and one or two specific examples of how you stay in touch. Remove hesitation and correct app names (Snapchat). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I am still in touch with some of my primary school teachers. We often message each other on WhatsApp and Instagram, and sometimes we meet at the university for coffee or school events.

提案: This response is unclear and contains errors. Start with a clear topic sentence stating how the teacher helped you, then give a specific example. Avoid unclear phrases ("accepted I have cancer choice", "I'll hang glad I don't have"). Use past tense for past events and linking words such as so and therefore.

例: My favourite teacher, Miss Halsa, supported me emotionally and academically when I faced a difficult decision about my studies. For instance, she gave me advice on which courses to choose and encouraged me to continue, which helped me stay at university.

提案: The answer is clear but repetitive. Give one clear reason and a specific example, with smoother grammar (teachers, I can connect with them). Use linking words (because, so) and avoid repeating phrases.

例: No, I prefer my high school teachers because I understand their lessons better now. For example, in high school my history teacher explained topics in depth, and now that I have more background knowledge I can connect with their teaching more easily.

× Yes I have it is called Miss Halfa.

✓ Yes, I have; she is called Miss Halfa.

Sentence structure error (26) and punctuation: run-on sentence without conjunction or proper punctuation. Also pronoun 'it' is incorrect for a person (12). Correct by replacing 'it' with 'she' and separating clauses with a semicolon or period.

× It is so cute.

✓ She is so kind.

Incorrect use of pronoun and adjective (12,13): 'It' refers to objects, not people, and 'cute' is inappropriate for a teacher in this context. Use 'she' for the teacher and a more fitting adjective such as 'kind'.

× She teach me when I was uh uh, in foundation this teach me when when Level 3 she is so kind she is so cute she make me like.

✓ She taught me when I was in foundation and again in Level 3. She was very kind and made me like learning.

Third person singular/past tense and sentence structure errors (2,5,26): 'teach' should be past 'taught' because actions happened in the past. 'She make me like' is ungrammatical; use 'made me like learning' or 'made me enjoy it.' Also remove repetition and add conjunctions for clarity.

× Actually no, I don't want to be a teacher in future because I think it is not my type.

✓ Actually no, I don't want to be a teacher in the future because I don't think it's my type of job.

Present tense/word choice and article error (6,22): add the definite article 'the' before 'future.' Also improve wording: 'it is not my type' -> 'it's not my type of job'.

× I would like to be someone who logistics in this sector because I think I am.

✓ I would like to work in logistics in this sector because I think I am suited to it.

Incorrect use of adjectives/verbs and sentence structure (13,26): 'someone who logistics' is incorrect; use the verb 'work' and the noun 'logistics.' 'I think I am' is incomplete; specify 'suited to it'.

× It is not my type to be teacher.

✓ It is not my type to be a teacher.

Pronoun/article use (12,22): missing indefinite article 'a' before 'teacher.'

× Yes, I have. I have a lot of teacher that teach us in the past and I am still remember him.

✓ Yes, I have. I had a lot of teachers who taught us in the past and I still remember him.

Adjective/noun number and tense/pronoun errors (1,5,12): 'a lot of teacher' should be plural 'teachers.' 'that teach us in the past' should be past 'who taught us.' 'I am still remember him' should be 'I still remember him.' Use 'who' for people.

× It is more than two or three teacher because I think I was social students, so I think also they Remember Me.

✓ There were more than two or three teachers because I think I was a sociable student, so I think they remember me too.

Singular/plural, there be, adjective and capitalization errors (1,3,13,20): 'teacher' should be 'teachers.' Use 'There were' to state existence in the past. 'social students' should be 'a sociable student.' 'Remember Me' incorrect capitalization; use 'remember me.' Also position adverb 'too' at end.

× Yes, I am still connected with primary teachers.

✓ Yes, I am still connected with my primary school teachers.

There be/possessive and article use (3,22): specify 'my primary school teachers' for clarity and correct noun phrase.

× We often connect with with each other by social media like WhatsApp, Instagram, snapshot.

✓ We often connect with each other through social media like WhatsApp, Instagram, and Snapchat.

Preposition and vocabulary errors (11,13): use 'through' or 'on' with 'social media.' Remove duplicated 'with.' 'snapshot' should be 'Snapchat.' Include 'and' for list.

× We often meet uh together in university and school in.

✓ We often meet together at university and at school.

Sentence structure and preposition errors (26,11): 'in' at the end is unnecessary. Use 'at university' and 'at school' for location. Remove filler 'uh.'

× Yes I have here name is Miss Halsa I was accepted I have cancer choice so she support me and give me advice so I can continue this stage but I'll hang glad I don't have.

✓ Yes, her name is Miss Halsa. I was accepted, and I had a chance, so she supported me and gave me advice so I could continue that stage, but I'm not sure about the last part.

Multiple sentence structure, vocabulary, tense, and clarity errors (26,5,13): Original is fragmented and unclear ('cancer choice','I'll hang glad I don't have'). I corrected to a coherent past-tense sequence: 'she supported me and gave me advice so I could continue that stage.' The final clause is unclear in the original; advise the speaker to restate intended meaning.

× No, I like my high school teacher because I think now I can think more, I have more background about everything or maybe because I am not teenager anymore so I can I can connect with him and understand.

✓ No, I prefer my high school teachers because I can think more critically now; I have more background knowledge, and maybe because I am not a teenager anymore, I can connect with them and understand better.

Adjective/adverb, article, pronoun number and repetition errors (13,22,1,26): 'like' -> 'prefer' fits comparison. 'high school teacher' should be plural 'teachers' to match context. Add 'a' before 'teenager.' Remove repeated 'I can.' Use 'them' for plural teachers and improve cohesion.