Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 内容明确但表达有语法和流畅性问题。建议：1) 开头直接作主题句，例如“I have a favourite teacher—my former math teacher.” 2) 修正语法与词序（e.g. “organize complicated ideas in a very clear way”）。3) 用1–2句具体例子支持（例如某节课如何讲解统计），并用连接词（e.g. “for example”, “so”）保持连贯。4) 控制在不超过5句。

例: I have a favourite teacher—my former mathematics teacher. He had a talent for organizing complicated ideas in a very clear way, so I could understand difficult topics quickly. For example, when he explained probability, he used real-life examples that made the concepts much easier to grasp.

提案: 回答有观点但句子冗长且部分表达不自然。建议：1) 使用一到两句给出直接回答并解释原因。2) 避免重复或模糊短语（如“wouldn't learn something new that made me”应更具体）。3) 使用连接词（e.g. “because”, “so”）使逻辑清晰。4) 注意简洁用词替代冗长结构。

例: Not really. I don't want to be a teacher because I prefer a job that offers continuous professional development. For example, teaching at a primary school might feel repetitive and leave little opportunity to learn new skills, so it would not suit my career goals.

提案: 内容敏感且表达不当，语法和用词需改进。建议：1) 避免夸张或情绪化词汇（如“brainwash”），改用中性说法（例如“biased teaching”）。2) 提供具体事例并完成句子，不要留下未完成片段。3) 使用连接词（e.g. “for instance”）并说明为何不认同。4) 控制句子数在5句内并保持礼貌。

例: Yes, I remember my primary school teacher, but I disagreed with some of her teaching methods. For instance, when we studied the war between Japan and China, she encouraged avoiding Japanese products without explaining the history fully. I felt this approach was biased, so it made me question the information we were given.

提案: 答案直接但有口头语过多且表达可更礼貌和自然。建议：1) 删除填充词（uh, umm）。2) 用更自然的表达说明原因（例如 “we lost touch after graduation”）。3) 可补充一两句陈述是否愿意未来联系或为何不联系。4) 保持简短连贯。

例: No, I have not kept in touch with them. I lost contact after graduation because we live in different cities and our lives went in different directions, so we rarely communicate now.

提案: 内容有力但表达上有口头语和语法问题。建议：1) 删除口头填充词并用流畅句子连接观点。2) 明确说明具体帮助方式（例如“taught step-by-step methods and used examples”）。3) 用过去时一致性描述经历（e.g. “before I met him”）。4) 保持在不超过5句内。

例: My favourite teacher helped me academically and influenced my career choices. Before I met him, I thought I would be bad at statistics, but his step-by-step teaching and practical examples made the subject easy for me. As a result, I became confident in statistics and decided to study it further.

提案: 观点明确但语气有些消极且口语填充词多。建议：1) 删除重复的“uh”并用更中性或客观的语言表达批评（例如“seemed less attentive to students' feelings”）。2) 用连词（e.g. “because”, “so”）解释原因并给出一两个具体例子。3) 保持礼貌并控制长度。

例: Not really. I attended an international high school and my primary school was a public one, and the teachers there seemed less attentive to students' emotions. For example, they focused more on exams than on students' feelings, so I sometimes felt I wasn't fully respected.

× Yes I do. My favorite teacher is my former mathematics teacher.

✓ Yes, I do. My favorite teacher is my former mathematics teacher.

句子缺少逗号導致語氣不自然。這裡需要在“Yes”和“I”之間加逗號以符合英語標點習慣，讓句子更清晰。

× I didn't have many contact with him beyond study, but his teaching skills really touched me.

✓ I didn't have much contact with him beyond studying, but his teaching skills really touched me.

“contact”作為不可數名詞要用“much”而非“many”。此外，介詞短語“beyond study”不自然，應用動名詞“studying”表達“課業之外”。

× He can always organize uncomplicated stuff into very clear way and I understand quickly.

✓ He could always organize uncomplicated material in a very clear way, and I understood it quickly.

語境談論過去的老師，時態應為過去（could/organized/understood）。“stuff”口語且含糊，改用“material”；“into very clear way”語序和冠詞錯誤，應為“in a very clear way”。

× Not really. I don't want to be a teacher because I feel teaching wouldn't contribute much to my personal growth, and if I become a teacher in a primary school or middle school, I may just suffer from the continuous and monotonous reputation of the similar knowledge every day and I wouldn't learn something new that made me.

✓ Not really. I don't want to be a teacher because I feel teaching wouldn't contribute much to my personal growth, and if I became a teacher in a primary or middle school, I might just suffer from the continuous and monotonous repetition of similar knowledge every day and I wouldn't learn anything new.

條件句與時態需一致：談假設情況用過去式（if I became），情態動詞用“might”。“reputation”用詞不當，應為“repetition”。“the similar knowledge”不自然，改為“similar knowledge”，“I wouldn't learn something new that made me”語法錯誤，改為“I wouldn't learn anything new”。

× Yes, I still remember my primary school teacher. I actually didn't like her because I realized that she made brainwash on me.

✓ Yes, I still remember my primary school teacher. I actually didn't like her because I felt she brainwashed me.

“make brainwash on me”是不正確的搭配。英語常用動詞“brainwash”直接及物用法，即“brainwash someone”。此外，從語感上用“felt”更自然表達主觀感受。

× Or for example, when we learned the a war of Japan to China, she made some unreasonable examples to educate us.

✓ For example, when we learned about the war between Japan and China, she used some unreasonable examples to teach us.

句子結構混亂：“the a war of Japan to China”是錯誤片語，應為“the war between Japan and China”或“the war of Japan against China”；“learned about”是正確搭配；“made some unreasonable examples to educate us”語序不自然，改為“used some unreasonable examples to teach us”。

× For example, we should not use Japanese tools and.

✓ For example, she said we should not use Japanese tools.

句子不完整且含多餘連詞“and”。需補全受詞和刪去多餘部分，使句子完整表達老師的說法。

× Uh, no. Uh, I've been graduated for many years and uh, I lose contact with them.

✓ Uh, no. I've graduated many years ago and I've lost contact with them.

“I've been graduated”是不正確的被動表達，正確為“I graduated”或“I've graduated”。“I lose contact”時態不一致，應為完成時“I've lost contact”表示過去至今的狀態。

× Umm, like there are no mutual benefit between us, so we just don't contact.

✓ Umm, there are no mutual benefits between us, so we just don't keep in contact.

“no mutual benefit”需用複數“benefits”表示雙方的互惠關係。動詞“don't contact”不完整，應為“don't keep in contact”或“don't stay in touch”。

× Uh, my favorite teacher helped me a lot in academic fields. Hmm even to my personal uh choices in career paths.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me a lot in academic fields, and even with my personal choices about career paths.

原句片段不完整且時態及連接詞用法混亂。用“helped”保持過去時；“even to”應為“even with”或“even in”；“choices in career paths”改為“choices about career paths”更自然。

× Because before met him I thought I would be bad at statistics.

✓ Because before I met him I thought I would be bad at statistics.

缺少主語“I”與正確語序，應為“before I met him”。維持條件時態，使用過去時態表達遇到他之前的想法。

× But when he told me statistics I found the step by step method extremely helpful and the statistics become super easy for me.

✓ But when he taught me statistics, I found his step-by-step method extremely helpful, and statistics became very easy for me.

“told me statistics”搭配錯誤，應為“taught me statistics”。“step by step”作形容詞需連字號“step-by-step”；時態需一致，改為過去式“became”。

× So I just learned statistics.

✓ So I just learned statistics because of him.

原句雖可理解但略顯不完整，補上原因短語“because of him”更清楚地表達因果關係。

× No, I study at international high school but my primary school is public and uh, uh, I would say in my primary school teachers don't actually care about students emotions a lot.

✓ No. I studied at an international high school, but my primary school was public. I would say my primary school teachers didn't really care much about students' emotions.

時態需一致（談過去學校經歷用過去時）。“study at international high school”應為“studied at an international high school”。“care about students emotions”需所有格“students' emotions”，並用否定副詞“didn't really care much”。

× They are just competing their jobs and sometimes I feel like I'm not fully respected.

✓ They were just doing their jobs, and sometimes I felt like I wasn't fully respected.

時態應為過去（were doing/felt/wasn't）以對應談論過去的情況。“competing their jobs”用詞錯誤，應為“doing their jobs”。