Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix verb forms and possessive pronouns.

例: Yes. My favorite teacher is my English teacher because she is very motivated and approachable. For example, she stays after class to help me with writing, and she uses interactive activities that make lessons enjoyable.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and support it with two concise reasons using linking words. Use correct collocations (e.g., 'become a teacher', 'stressful', 'explain things'). Avoid irrelevant names or repetitions.

例: No, I don't want to become a teacher because I find the job stressful and I don't enjoy standing and speaking for long periods. Also, I prefer a career where I can work with data rather than teach people.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and then give a specific example of what the teacher did, using linking words (for example, 'for instance' or 'for example'). Correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., 'assignment', 'encouraged me to try').

例: Yes. I still remember my biology teacher from primary school because she was very supportive. For instance, she helped me with a difficult biology assignment and encouraged me by breaking the task into simple steps, which made it less stressful.

提案: Give a direct answer then explain briefly why you are not in contact, using correct expressions ('in touch', 'contact', 'my parents didn't allow me to have a phone'). Keep it to two sentences and avoid filler words.

例: No, I'm not in touch with them. When I was in primary school my parents didn't allow me to have a phone, so I never saved their contact details and I regret not keeping in contact.

提案: Answer directly and give two clear, specific examples of how she helped (emotional support, academic help). Use linking words ('for example', 'also') and correct phrases ('when I was stressed', 'resolve a disagreement', 'improve my grades'). Avoid unclear phrases like 'encouraged me in debt'.

例: She helped me both emotionally and academically. For example, when I was stressed after an argument with a friend, she advised us to talk it through, and she also helped me improve my grades by giving extra practice and feedback.

提案: Give a clear comparative answer (which you prefer) and support it with two specific reasons. Use correct comparative language ('I prefer my primary school teachers because...') and avoid vague phrases like 'entertained' without examples.

例: I prefer my primary school teachers slightly more because they were very kind and attentive. For example, they used games and stories to make lessons fun, which made me feel supported and helped me learn better.

× I remember she's very motivated and moreover she courageous for everything.

✓ I remember she's very motivated and, moreover, she is courageous about everything.

The original sentence omits the verb 'is' before 'courageous', causing an adjective to be used without a linking verb. Also 'for everything' is unnatural; 'about everything' or 'in everything' is more appropriate. Include the correct copular verb 'is' and use the preposition 'about' to sound natural.

× I really like her her when I loving the way she teach and she is very friendly with me and I will gossip with her sometime.

✓ I really like her because I love the way she teaches; she is very friendly with me and I sometimes talk with her informally.

The sentence repeats 'her' and uses incorrect verb forms: 'loving' should be 'love' (present simple) and 'teach' needs third person singular 'teaches'. 'Gossip with her sometime' is awkward; 'talk with her informally' or 'chat with her sometimes' is clearer. Fix pronoun repetition and correct verb forms.

× I will gossip with her sometime.

✓ I sometimes chat with her.

Using 'will' here implies future intention, but the context describes habitual action. Use present simple 'sometimes chat' to express habitual behavior. Also 'gossip' can have negative connotation; 'chat' is more appropriate in a school setting.

× So I have a favorite teacher in my school.

✓ So, I have a favorite teacher at my school.

The sentence is grammatically acceptable but slightly awkward due to 'in my school.' 'At my school' is the more natural prepositional phrase. Add a comma after 'So' for clarity.

× I don't want to be a teacher in future because it is very distressful and it is very difficult to stand for a lot of hours and I cannot understand too.

✓ I don't want to be a teacher in the future because it is very stressful, it is difficult to stand for many hours, and I don't think I would be good at teaching people.

Use 'in the future' with the definite article. 'Distressful' is incorrect here; use 'stressful.' 'A lot of hours' should be 'many hours.' The clause 'I cannot understand too' is unclear; replace with 'I don't think I would be good at teaching people' to express inability to teach.

× I cannot understand to people like I want to teach something.

✓ I cannot connect with people in the way needed to teach, or I don't feel I can teach effectively.

'Understand to people' is incorrect; verbs like 'understand' don't take 'to' in this way. The intended meaning seems to be difficulty relating to or teaching people. Rephrase to 'connect with people' or 'teach effectively' for clarity.

× So it's very difficult for me and I don't want Raza and I don't want to be a teacher in future.

✓ So it's very difficult for me, and I don't want to be a teacher in the future.

The fragment 'I don't want Raza' appears unrelated and likely a mistake; remove it. Repeat of 'I don't want to be a teacher in future' should include 'the' as 'in the future.' Combine clauses properly with a comma and conjunction.

× In past when I was in school, I remember teacher.

✓ In the past, when I was in school, I remember my teacher.

Include the definite article 'the' with 'past' as 'in the past.' Add the possessive 'my' before 'teacher' to specify. Place commas to set off the subordinate clause.

× She is very friendly and I remember that she encouraged me in many things, like for example in our biology Sargume assignment.

✓ She was very friendly, and I remember that she encouraged me in many things, for example, in our biology assignment.

When describing a past teacher, use past tense 'was.' 'Like for example' is redundant; use 'for example.' 'Sargume' appears to be a typo — replace with 'assignment.' Ensure tense consistency and correct word choice.

× It is very difficult for me and stressful and she encouraged that you can do it.

✓ It was very difficult and stressful for me, and she encouraged me by saying, 'You can do it.'

Maintain past tense 'was' to match 'encouraged.' The original 'she encouraged that you can do it' is ungrammatical; report the encouragement properly as direct speech or as 'she encouraged me, telling me I could do it.'

× Unfortunately I'm not touched with my primary school teacher because when I was in primary school so I don't have my father do not allow me to have phones.

✓ Unfortunately, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers because when I was in primary school my father did not allow me to have a phone.

The phrase 'not touched with' is incorrect; use 'not in touch with' to indicate lack of contact. 'I don't have my father do not allow me' is ungrammatical; convert to past tense: 'my father did not allow me.' Use 'phone' singular or 'a phone.'

× I do not have a phone and more were no number so I cannot touch and I regret that I want to umm I want to tell them that give me a number and I will message.

✓ I did not have a phone or any phone numbers, so I couldn't contact them, and I regret that; I wish I could ask them for their numbers so I could message them.

Use past tense 'did not have' to match context. 'More were no number' is incorrect — use 'or any phone numbers.' 'Cannot touch' should be 'couldn't contact.' Rephrase awkward parts for natural English and correct tense consistency.

× My favorite teacher helped me a lot in many situation, for example, when I was, uh, stressful and uh, had disagreement with my friend.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me a lot in many situations; for example, when I was stressed and had a disagreement with a friend.

Use plural 'situations.' 'When I was stressful' is incorrect; use adjective 'stressed.' 'Disagreement with my friend' should be 'a disagreement with a friend' or 'my friend' depending on specificity. Improve prepositions and word forms.

× And moreover, she said that you both are best friend and more were in, uh, academic performance.

✓ Moreover, she said that we were both best friends and that we should focus more on our academic performance.

'You both are best friend' is incorrect pronoun perspective and singular/plural agreement; change to 'we were both best friends.' 'More were in academic performance' is unclear; likely means 'focus more on academic performance.' Clarify and correct agreement.

× She also helped me a lot, uh, she encouraged me in debt.

✓ She also helped me a lot; she encouraged me when I was in debt or in difficulty.

'Encouraged me in debt' is unclear and likely a misuse of 'debt.' If the student meant 'in difficulty' or 'in doubt,' use appropriate noun. Clarify meaning — 'in difficulty' or 'when I was in debt' depending on intended sense.

× I like bottle because both of are very in nice and kindness and more were they both encourage me and help me a lot in my academic performance.

✓ I like both because they are very kind and encouraging; they helped me a lot with my academic performance.

'Bottle' is a misspelling of 'both.' 'Both of are very in nice and kindness' is ungrammatical; use 'they are very kind and encouraging.' Simplify and correct pronoun usage and adjective forms.

× But I like a little bit primary school teacher because they are very nice to me and I remember that how we she entertained how my teacher entertain us.

✓ But I prefer my primary school teachers a little bit more because they were very nice to me, and I remember how my teacher used to entertain us.

'I like a little bit primary school teacher' has awkward word order; use 'I prefer my primary school teachers a little bit more.' Maintain past tense 'were' and 'used to entertain' for habitual past actions. Remove redundant words and fix word order.