Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and include one specific example of what made her teaching effective. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one linked supporting detail using a linking word (e.g., “for example” or “because”) and finish briefly. Avoid repetition like saying she taught first and fourth year twice.

例: Yes. My favorite teacher at university was our main instructor in both the first and fourth years because she explained difficult concepts clearly. For example, she used real-life case studies to show how theories work in practice, which helped me understand and remember the material.

提案: State your position clearly, then provide a specific reason and one brief example. Use linking words ('because', 'for instance', 'as a result') and avoid vague or emotionally charged words like 'ungrateful job'; instead explain the situation objectively.

例: No, I would not like to be a teacher because my tutoring experience was emotionally draining. For instance, many students seemed uninterested and refused to try, so I found it hard to stay motivated and make progress with them.

提案: Answer with a direct topic sentence and give one concrete detail that illustrates kindness or patience. Use a linking word ('for example' or 'because') and avoid repeating similar adjectives. Add a short example of a memorable moment.

例: Yes. I still remember my primary school teacher because she was patient and supportive. For example, she stayed after class to help me with reading until I gained confidence, which made learning enjoyable.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then one clear supporting detail about how you keep contact. Use linking words ('however', 'but', 'we') and avoid long run-on sentences. Be specific about frequency and activities during visits.

例: No, I am not regularly in touch with them. However, my classmates and I visit the school once a year to meet the teachers; we usually have tea and spend an hour catching up with those who are still there.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence that states the main benefit, then give a specific example with a linking phrase ('for example', 'once'). Avoid fragmented sentences and vague phrasing like 'built me.' Use precise language such as 'boosted my confidence.'

例: She helped me build confidence. For example, when I was nervous during a class presentation, she stood beside me, gave calm reminders and praised my effort, which helped me finish the talk and feel more confident afterward.

提案: Give a direct comparison sentence, then one clear reason supported by a specific example. Avoid vague claims and unfinished stories. Use linking words ('because', 'for instance') and complete your example succinctly.

例: Yes, I prefer my primary school teachers because they seemed to care more about our learning. For instance, one teacher was so moved by our improvement that she almost cried when we thanked her after a class project, showing her strong commitment to us.

× Yes, I do have a favorite teacher.

✓ Yes, I have a favorite teacher.

Using 'do' for emphasis in affirmative present simple is unnecessary here; native speakers typically say 'I have' unless emphasizing contrast. Remove 'do' for a natural sentence.

× She was our main teacher for the first year and for the 4th year.

✓ She was our main teacher for the first year and for the fourth year.

Write out ordinals consistently in text. Using '4th' is informal numerals; 'fourth' is correct in formal writing and consistent with surrounding words.

× She was really professional.

✓ She was very professional.

While 'really' is not strictly wrong, 'very professional' sounds more natural and formal in this context. Use 'very' for a straightforward adjective intensifier.

× She explained the information in the best way possible and I really liked her tutoring methods.

✓ She explained the information in the best possible way, and I really liked her tutoring methods.

The idiomatic order is 'the best possible way'. Also add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses.

× No, I don't want to be a teacher because I once was working as a tutor and it was too emotionally consuming for me.

✓ No, I don't want to be a teacher because I once worked as a tutor and it was too emotionally draining for me.

Use simple past 'worked' for completed past action rather than 'was working' which suggests ongoing past context; 'draining' is a more natural collocation than 'consuming' for emotions.

× I didn't like that the children I was explaining information to, they didn't really want to learn anything.

✓ I didn't like that the children I was explaining things to didn't really want to learn anything.

Avoid redundancy and incorrect clause structure: remove the extra pronoun 'they' and use 'explaining things to' or 'to whom I was explaining' to make a grammatical relative clause.

× That's why I think it's ungrateful job.

✓ That's why I think it's an ungrateful job.

Missing article 'an' before a singular countable noun 'ungrateful job' is required.

× Yes, the teacher that I still remember was when I was attending primary school.

✓ Yes, the teacher I still remember is from when I was attending primary school.

The original mixes tenses and uses 'was when' awkwardly. Use 'is from when' to link present memory to past event; also omit unnecessary 'that' for a defining relative clause.

× She was really kind and she was patient.

✓ She was really kind and patient.

Combine parallel adjectives to avoid repetition of 'she was'. This is more concise and natural.

× The way she explained all the information was memorable and it was clear to understand.

✓ The way she explained everything was memorable and easy to understand.

Use 'explained everything' instead of 'all the information' for natural phrasing; 'easy to understand' is idiomatic, whereas 'clear to understand' is awkward.

× That's why I have this good memories of her.

✓ That's why I have good memories of her.

'Memories' is plural, so remove the singular determiner 'this' and use 'good memories' or 'these good memories' if emphasizing specific memories.

× No, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers, though my classmate and I try to go to school to once a year at least to catch up with our teachers where some of them are at school we sometimes have some tea and take our time to communicate and.

✓ No, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers, though my classmate and I try to go to the school at least once a year to catch up with the teachers who are still there; we sometimes have tea and spend time chatting.

Original sentence is run-on with misplaced phrases and wrong word order. Correct by placing 'at least once a year' in the proper position, using 'the teachers who are still there', and replacing 'take our time to communicate and' with 'spend time chatting' for natural phrasing; end the sentence properly.

× I remember one day when I was to give a presentation and my primary school teacher, she helped me to feel confident and to keep going with the presentation while I was not feeling my best self.

✓ I remember one day when I had to give a presentation and my primary school teacher helped me feel confident and continue with the presentation while I wasn't feeling my best.

Use 'had to give' for obligation in past, remove unnecessary comma and pronoun 'she', use infinitive without 'to' after 'helped' in this structure ('helped me feel'), and use natural phrasing 'wasn't feeling my best'.

× So I think that she built me.

✓ So I think that she helped build me up.

'Built me' is awkward; idiomatic expression is 'helped build me up' or 'helped me grow/confidence'. Use phrasal verb 'build up' or rephrase to 'helped me build confidence'.

× She helped me to build confidence.

✓ She helped me build confidence.

After 'helped' the bare infinitive is normally used ('helped me build'), though 'to' is not strictly wrong; omitting 'to' is more natural.

× Yes, I liked my primary school teachers more than high school teachers because they actually cared more about our grades, about our knowledge.

✓ Yes, I liked my primary school teachers more than my high school teachers because they actually cared more about our grades and our learning.

Add possessive 'my' before 'high school teachers' for parallelism, and use 'learning' instead of repeated 'about our knowledge' for smoother phrasing.

× I remember one time our teacher was nearly crying because she felt how grateful we all were for her knowledge and.

✓ I remember one time our teacher was nearly crying because she felt how grateful we all were for her.

Remove trailing 'knowledge and.' which is incomplete. 'Felt how grateful we were for her' is sufficient; 'for her knowledge' is redundant after 'for her'. Use past tense 'were' correctly.