Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two supporting details connected with linking words. Avoid short sentence fragments and repetition. Also correct articles and remove duplicated words.

例: Yes. My favourite teacher was my primary school history teacher because she made the past come alive. For example, she used stories and maps to explain events, which helped me understand why history matters and inspired me to read more about different cultures.

提案: Start with a direct statement, use correct articles and adjective order, and add one specific reason with linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "it is a good for them."

例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher in the future because it is a rewarding and meaningful career. For instance, by teaching children I can help them build confidence and critical thinking skills, which I find personally fulfilling.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence then add a specific memorable detail using linking words. Avoid repeating 'I have a teacher from my past that I still remember'—make it more natural.

例: Yes, I still remember my primary school English teacher because she taught us the alphabet through songs. For example, she used lively tunes and actions so I still recall the melodies and spelling rules today.

提案: Answer directly, combine sentences for fluency, and use correct plural/singular forms. Offer brief additional detail with a linking word to explain why contact is difficult.

例: No, I'm not in touch with them because I now live very far away. As a result, travelling to their remote town is difficult, so we lost regular contact.

提案: Be clear about which teacher you mean and give specific examples of how they helped you. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid fragmented sentences like 'From my brother.'

例: My favourite teacher was my brother's private maths tutor, and she helped me by explaining difficult concepts step by step. For example, she showed me visual methods to solve algebra problems, which improved my grades and confidence.

提案: State your opinion clearly, correct repetition and grammar, and give one specific reason or example using linking words such as 'because' or 'for example'.

例: Yes, I prefer my primary school teachers because they taught me basic study habits and created lasting memories. For example, they encouraged curiosity and group projects, which shaped my attitude to learning.

× The the teacher that I will pick is my history teacher.

✓ The teacher that I will pick is my history teacher.

Duplicate definite article 'the the' is an article error. Remove the extra 'the' so the sentence reads correctly as 'The teacher...'. Ensure only one article appears before the noun phrase.

× In primary school.

✓ I studied in primary school.

This fragment lacks a subject and verb, so it is a sentence structure error. Make it a full clause by adding a subject and verb (for example 'I studied in primary school') to connect it to the previous sentence.

× She taught me the knowledge and importance of the history subject.

✓ She taught me the importance and basic knowledge of history.

Awkward phrasing and word order; 'knowledge and importance of the history subject' is unnatural. Reorder and simplify to 'the importance and basic knowledge of history'. This provides clearer, more idiomatic English.

× Yes, I want to become a teacher in the future because teacher job is a interesting and very rewarding job for your personal fulfillment.

✓ Yes, I want to become a teacher in the future because a teaching job is an interesting and very rewarding job for personal fulfillment.

Missing indefinite article before 'teacher job' and wrong noun form. Use 'a teaching job' or 'a teacher's job'. Also 'a interesting' should be 'an interesting' but because of rephrasing to 'a teaching job is an interesting...' the article is correct. Ensure articles match the noun form and use 'personal' without 'your' to keep perspective consistent.

× When you teach some children, it is a good for them.

✓ When you teach children, it is good for them.

Unnecessary 'some' and extra article 'a' before 'good' make the sentence unidiomatic. Also pronoun perspective shifted; keep general statement: 'When you teach children, it is good for them.'

× Yes, I have a teacher from my past that I still remember who is my English teacher from my primary school.

✓ Yes, I have a teacher from my past whom I still remember: she was my English teacher in primary school.

Relative clause construction is incorrect: 'that I still remember who is' is redundant. Use 'whom I still remember' or 'whom I still remember: she was...' Also use past tense 'was' because it refers to a past role.

× She told me about the English alphabets and some English songs.

✓ She taught me the English alphabet and some English songs.

'Alphabets' is incorrect because English has a single alphabet; use singular 'alphabet'. 'Told me about' is less precise than 'taught me'. Adjust quantifier to 'some' for songs is fine.

× Unfortunately, I'm not in touch with my primary school teacher because I live very far away from them.

✓ Unfortunately, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers because I live very far away from them.

Pronoun 'them' is plural but 'teacher' is singular; mismatch. Change 'teacher' to plural 'teachers' to match 'them', or replace 'them' with 'him/her'. Plural is more natural when referring to multiple teachers.

× They are in remote city so it is difficult for me to travel to them.

✓ They are in a remote city, so it is difficult for me to travel to see them.

Missing article 'a' before 'remote city' and missing comma before 'so'. Also 'travel to them' is awkward; use 'travel to see them'.

× That's why.

✓ That's why I cannot visit them.

Fragment 'That's why.' is incomplete and unclear. Complete the idea by stating the result, e.g. 'That's why I cannot visit them.'

× My favorite teacher is my tuition teacher. From my brother.

✓ My favorite teacher is my tuition teacher from my brother's school.

Fragment 'From my brother.' is incomplete. Combine into one sentence to clarify meaning: 'tuition teacher from my brother's school' or 'my brother's teacher.' Ensure possessive if referring to brother's teacher.

× That teacher is my brother's teacher and she taught me about mathematics.

✓ That teacher was my brother's teacher, and she taught me mathematics.

Tense consistency: 'was' fits better if referring to past role. 'Taught me about mathematics' is wordy; use 'taught me mathematics'. Also add comma before conjunction.

× Yes, primary school teachers are more influential than my high school teacher because in my formative year they they taught me some valuable things and valuable memories for me.

✓ Yes, primary school teachers are more influential than my high school teachers because in my formative years they taught me valuable lessons and created lasting memories.

Mismatch: 'teachers' plural compared to 'high school teacher' singular—make both plural for comparison. Duplicate 'they they' is typo. 'Formative year' should be plural 'formative years'. 'Valuable things and valuable memories for me' is awkward; rephrase to 'valuable lessons and created lasting memories.'