Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, give 1–2 specific supporting details (what she taught or a memorable quality), and avoid redundant phrases. Use correct names/titles and simple past or present consistently. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes. My favourite teacher is Madam Ebay Nelson, who taught me from primary level through to university. She made lessons enjoyable by using games and stories, and she pushed students hard when needed, which helped me improve my grades.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence then support with one concise reason and an example. Fix grammar (avoid repeating names, use consistent tense) and finish the thought. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I don't. Teaching seems very demanding — for example, my favourite teacher often worked extra hours to help students improve their grades — so I prefer a career with more predictable hours.

提案: Start directly: name the teacher and one specific way she influenced you. Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Use linking words (for example, because, which) and provide a brief specific example of the guidance she gave.

例: Yes. My primary teacher, Mrs. Amina, had a big influence on me because she insisted on discipline and regular reading practice, which improved my study habits and confidence at school.

提案: Answer directly, then give a specific recent example and a short reflection. Correct grammar (singular/plural, tenses) and avoid vague phrases. Use linking words like however or recently to connect ideas.

例: Not regularly. However, I recently ran into one of my primary teachers at a mall, and I thanked her for the positive influence she had on my studies and character when I was young.

提案: Be specific: give 2 concrete skills and one example of how you use them now. Improve grammar and word choice (e.g., 'pronunciation', 'primary school', 'university environment') and link sentences clearly.

例: She taught me spelling and pronunciation, and she coached me in speaking clearly. As a result, I can give presentations at university with less anxiety and communicate better in group discussions.

提案: Give a clear comparison sentence (yes/no and why), use specific reasons and tidy grammar. Avoid confusing phrasing and incomplete thoughts. Limit to 2–3 coherent sentences and provide a concrete example of a basic skill learned in primary school that mattered later.

例: Yes, I prefer my primary teachers because they taught me basic skills like reading and spelling. For example, their early lessons gave me a strong foundation that made secondary school subjects much easier to learn.

× Yes, I do have a favorite teacher. She's called Madam eBay Nelson.

✓ Yes, I have a favorite teacher. Her name is Madam eBay Nelson.

Use of 'do' is unnecessary in a simple affirmative present sentence; also 'She's called' is awkward for naming a person. Replace with 'I have' and 'Her name is' to sound natural. Use of pronoun 'She' is fine but 'Her name is' clarifies reference. Suggestion: Say 'I have a favorite teacher. Her name is...'.

× She taught us through my level 1 Anderson school to degree.

✓ She taught us from Level 1 at Anderson School up to degree level.

Tense 'taught' (past) is fine for a past teaching action, but the sentence structure and prepositions are incorrect. Use 'from... to...' to indicate range and correct nouns/capitalization. 'Level 1' and 'Anderson School' are nouns and 'up to degree level' clarifies extent. Suggestion: Use 'from Level 1 at Anderson School up to degree level.'

× She's quite fun to be around with, but she has her ups and downs.

✓ She's quite fun to be around, but she has her ups and downs.

The phrasal verb 'be around' does not need the preposition 'with'. Removing 'with' makes the expression natural. 'Ups and downs' is fine to describe mood swings. Suggestion: Use 'fun to be around'.

× That of course makes her unique from all the teachers.

✓ That, of course, makes her different from the other teachers.

'Unique from' is nonstandard; use 'different from'. Also add commas around 'of course' as a parenthetical. 'The other teachers' is clearer than 'all the teachers.' Suggestion: Use 'different from' and add commas.

× Certainly not. I wouldn't want to be a teacher because I saw how challenging it was, how my favorite teacher, for instance, Madame eBay, how she struggled to make sure the students attained a certain grade and pay attention and to improve all the same. It's quite difficult, so I would.

✓ Certainly not. I wouldn't want to be a teacher because I saw how challenging it is; for instance, my favorite teacher, Madame eBay, struggled to ensure students reached certain grades, paid attention, and improved. It's quite difficult, so I wouldn't.

Mixes past and present awkwardly and ends with an incomplete clause 'so I would.' Maintain consistent tense: use present for general statements ('is challenging') and past for specific past actions ('struggled'). Use 'ensure' for formal correctness and parallel verbs 'reached, paid, improved.' Finish with 'I wouldn't' to match 'Certainly not.' Suggestion: Keep tense consistency and complete the final clause.

× Yes, I do have a teacher for my past that had an significant impact on my life and she was quite, umm, tough.

✓ Yes, I had a teacher in my past who had a significant impact on my life, and she was quite tough.

Use 'I had' rather than 'I do have' for past reference. 'For my past' is unnatural; use 'in my past.' Use 'who' for people, not 'that.' Correct article 'a significant' (remove 'an'). Suggestion: Use 'who' with people and correct articles.

× She took me through primary school up to secondary school, so it's quite difficult to forget her significance in my life.

✓ She guided me from primary school through secondary school, so it's difficult to forget her influence in my life.

'Took me through' is informal but acceptable; 'guided me from... through...' is clearer. 'Significance' is awkward; 'influence' is more natural. Keep tense consistent; 'it's quite difficult' can be 'it's difficult'. Suggestion: Use 'guided' and 'influence'.

× She directed me in so many.

✓ She guided me in so many ways.

Original sentence lacks a complete object; 'in so many' needs a noun like 'ways.' Use 'guided' or 'directed' plus 'ways' to complete the sentence. Suggestion: Add 'ways' after 'in so many'.

× I don't keep regular contact with my primary school teachers, but I run into one of them the other day at the shopping mall.

✓ I don't keep regular contact with my primary school teachers, but I ran into one of them the other day at the shopping mall.

The phrase 'the other day' refers to a past event, so use past tense 'ran into.' Maintain present for habitual actions and past for specific events. Suggestion: Use past tense for completed past events.

× It's quite striking how older they look right now.

✓ It's quite striking how old they look now.

Use adjective 'old' not comparative 'older' unless comparing to a previous state. 'Right now' can be shortened to 'now.' Suggestion: Use 'how old they look now.'

× And I told them how respectful I feel and how they helped me to become who I am today and how grateful I want to help teach others.

✓ I told them how respectful I feel toward them, how they helped me become who I am today, and how grateful I am and want to help teach others.

Pronoun references are unclear and verbs inconsistent. 'Respectful' requires 'toward them.' 'How grateful I want to help teach others' is ungrammatical; separate into 'how grateful I am' and 'that I want to help teach others.' Suggestion: Break into clear clauses and keep verb forms parallel.

× My favorite teacher, Madame Bai, helped me in so many ways.

✓ My favorite teacher, Madame Bai, helped me in many ways.

'So many ways' is informal; 'many ways' is more standard. Pronoun use fine. Keep past tense 'helped' for past assistance. Suggestion: Use 'in many ways' for formality.

× She taught me how to spell from a primary school, how to control sentence pronunciations.

✓ She taught me how to spell in primary school and how to control sentence pronunciation.

Use 'in primary school' not 'from a primary school.' 'Sentence pronunciation' is uncountable and singular; use 'pronunciation.' Also connect ideas with 'and.' Suggestion: Use 'in primary school' and 'sentence pronunciation.'

× She guided me in communication. That helped me in my daily life, especially in the university milieu, to communicate.

✓ She guided me in communication, which helped me in daily life, especially at university, to communicate better.

Sentence is repetitive and awkward. Use relative clause 'which helped' to combine ideas. 'University milieu' is unnatural; use 'at university.' Add 'better' to clarify improvement. Suggestion: Combine clauses and use natural phrase 'at university.'

× I do love my primary school teachers more with reason being they help me broom me into who I am in the secondary school.

✓ I love my primary school teachers more because they helped shape who I became in secondary school.

Awkward phrasing 'do love' unnecessary; 'with reason being' is awkward — use 'because.' 'Help me broom me' is incorrect; likely 'helped shape' is intended. Use past tense 'helped' and 'became' for completed development. Suggestion: Use 'because they helped shape who I became.'

× For those teachers to just take it lightly to teach me primary school how to learn basics such as spelling, reading, secondary schools I had to master up my.

✓ Those teachers did not take teaching me the basics in primary school lightly; they taught me spelling and reading, which I had to master before secondary school.

Original is incoherent and lacks proper clause structure. Rephrase to clarify that teachers took teaching the basics seriously, list basics, and indicate these were prerequisites for secondary school. Use past tense consistently. Suggestion: Rewrite into clear clauses and correct word order.