Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and gender agreement, and limit filler words. Add one specific example of support using a linking word. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: My favourite teacher is my university lecturer who supervised my scientific project. She was extremely supportive and gave me practical advice, for example suggesting a new research method that improved my results. Because of her encouragement, I became more confident in presenting my findings.

提案: Good content but reduce hesitations and slightly tighten language. Begin directly, avoid redundant phrases like “to be honest” and improve collocations (e.g., “broadens my horizons”). Use one linking word to connect reasons.

例: I’m actually a teacher at the moment. Teaching gives me the chance to meet people with different personalities, and therefore I learn from colleagues in other fields, which broadens my horizons.

提案: Improve grammar and concision: use correct tense and articles, reduce fillers, and add a specific memory to make the answer more vivid. Use a linking word to explain why she was inspiring.

例: Yes — my first-grade teacher stands out. She was incredibly inspiring because she patiently taught me basic reading and encouraged me to ask questions, which made me confident at the start of primary school.

提案: Reduce hesitations and correct vocabulary (e.g., 'keep in contact' not 'keep contact'; 'reserved' not 'preserved'). Be concise and give a clear reason using linking words. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I’m not still in touch with them. At the time I left school there were no social media platforms, and also I tend to be reserved, so I didn’t keep in contact.

提案: Eliminate fillers and finish the thought. Use correct verb forms and provide a specific example of advice. Structure: topic sentence + one concrete example with a linking word. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: The most helpful thing my favourite teacher did was give practical advice when I faced problems. For example, when my experiment failed, she suggested a different technique and explained how to analyse the data, which helped me complete the project successfully.

提案: Good comparison but improve fluency and finish sentences. Remove repetition and use linking words (e.g., 'however') to contrast. Fix the ending and use full words like 'horizons'.

例: I don’t prefer one group over the other. Primary teachers were very patient and supportive when I was young; however, high school teachers broadened my horizons by introducing more advanced subjects.

× She was the most supportive women that I know all over the world.

✓ She was the most supportive woman that I know in the whole world.

The noun should be singular to match 'She' and 'woman' (not 'women' which is plural). Additionally, 'all over the world' is awkward here; 'in the whole world' or 'in the world' is more natural. Use 'woman' to maintain subject-noun agreement and a more idiomatic phrase.

× She's gave me advice and she sometimes cheered me up.

✓ She gave me advice and sometimes cheered me up.

Mixes present contraction 'She's' (she is/has) with past verb 'gave'. The context refers to past tutoring, so use past simple 'gave'. Also omit repeated subject 'she' before 'sometimes' for conciseness: 'sometimes cheered me up.' This fixes tense consistency and avoids incorrect auxiliary use.

× Working as a teacher often brings me opportunity to get to know a lot of people with different characteristics and personalities.

✓ Working as a teacher often brings me opportunities to get to know many people with different characteristics and personalities.

Countable noun 'opportunity' needs plural 'opportunities' or an article 'an opportunity'. 'A lot of people' is acceptable but 'many people' is more concise. This change corrects number agreement and improves naturalness.

× I can learn a lot from people working in different fields and broaden my horizons of knowledge.

✓ I can learn a lot from people working in different fields and broaden my horizons.

'Horizons' is typically used without 'of knowledge' because 'broaden my horizons' already implies widening knowledge or experience. Removing the prepositional phrase makes the sentence more idiomatic.

× Well, one of the teacher that I still remembered is my first grade teacher.

✓ Well, one of the teachers that I still remember is my first-grade teacher.

'One of the' must be followed by a plural noun: 'teachers'. 'Remembered' is past but the relative clause refers to a general memory—'I still remember' is more natural. Also hyphenate 'first-grade' when used as a compound adjective.

× She was the most inspiring teacher that I've known so far.

✓ She was the most inspiring teacher that I had known so far.

Mixes past 'was' with present perfect 'I've known'. Because the student speaks about past context (when younger), past perfect 'I had known' fits better if emphasizing up to that past point. Alternatively, use present perfect with present relevance: 'She is the most inspiring teacher I have known.' Choose tense to match intended meaning; here past context suggests past perfect.

× She helped me a lot when I stepped into the primary school, although I didn't know anything back then.

✓ She helped me a lot when I entered primary school, although I didn't know much back then.

'Stepped into the primary school' is awkward; 'entered primary school' or 'started primary school' is more natural. 'Didn't know anything' is exaggerated; 'didn't know much' is more appropriate and idiomatic.

× we didn't uh, have like different social media platforms so that I can, uh, touch, uh, so that I can keep contact with them.

✓ we didn't have social media platforms so that I could keep in contact with them.

'Didn't' sets past context so subsequent verbs should be past: 'could' not 'can'. 'Keep contact' is unnatural; use 'keep in contact' or 'stay in touch'. Remove filler words. Also 'have like different' is informal; 'have social media platforms' suffices.

× Also, I'm quite shy and preserved when it comes to talking with the teachers.

✓ Also, I'm quite shy and reserved when it comes to talking with teachers.

The correct adjective is 'reserved' (not 'preserved'). Also plural 'teachers' without 'the' is more natural when speaking generally.

× the most, umm, helpful way that a teacher has helped me is the way that they, umm, gave me advice when I was in need.

✓ the most helpful way a teacher helped me was by giving me advice when I was in need.

'Has helped me' mixes present perfect with a general description; keep past simple to match context: 'helped me'. Use 'was by giving me' to correctly use verb + -ing after 'was by'. Also use singular 'teacher' with 'they' is acceptable but here rephrased to avoid pronoun mismatch.

× Uh, what I mean is that, umm, a teacher may uses their wisdom to, uh, give me.

✓ What I mean is that a teacher may use their wisdom to give me advice.

'May' is a modal verb and must be followed by the base form 'use' (not 'uses'). Also complete the sentence with 'advice' to make it grammatical and meaningful.

× Well, I like about all of them in the same way.

✓ Well, I like them all in the same way.

'Like about all of them' is awkward; 'like them all' is the concise correct structure. Keeps meaning intact.

× I mean, primary teachers are quite supportive and patient because we were young and they supported me a lot.

✓ I mean, primary teachers were quite supportive and patient because we were young and they supported us a lot.

The sentence mixes perspectives: if referring to the student's childhood, use past for teachers ('were') and plural pronoun consistent with 'we' vs 'me'. If 'we' is used earlier, maintain 'us' instead of 'me'. This fixes pronoun reference and tense consistency.

× But high school teachers are also talented because they taught me a lot of new things, broadening my horiz.

✓ But high school teachers were also talented because they taught me a lot of new things, broadening my horizons.

Complete the truncated word 'horiz' to 'horizons' and keep past tense 'were' to match discussion of past teachers. 'Broadening my horizons' is the correct idiom.