Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more concise: start with a direct topic sentence naming the teacher, correct mistakes (name, grammar), and give one or two specific examples of how he helped you using linking words. Avoid repetition and keep under five sentences.

例: Yes, my favourite teacher is our criminal law professor, Professor Anand. He is extremely dedicated and always stays after class to explain difficult concepts. For example, he spent several hours helping me understand mens rea by drawing diagrams and giving real-case examples, which made the ideas much clearer.

提案: Give a direct yes/no first, then give two clear reasons with linking words. Fix grammar (e.g. 'patient', 'related to') and avoid overly long or unclear phrases. Keep it within three sentences.

例: No, I don't want to be a teacher in the future. Firstly, I tend to be impatient, so I would struggle to explain detailed concepts repeatedly. Secondly, teaching requires considerable time for student support and administrative issues, which does not match my career priorities.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the teacher and the context, correct grammar and redundancy ("she's she is"). Use specific examples of how she helped (what guidelines, what 'revision' meant) and link ideas logically.

例: Yes, I still remember Professor Mary, who taught me during my bachelor's in the UK. She is an Asian lecturer who gave detailed feedback on our assignments and organised extra revision sessions before exams, which helped me improve my grades.

提案: Be concise and natural: start with a direct answer, then give specific examples of how you stay in touch and what you discuss. Use correct tense and more natural phrasing ("keep in touch").

例: Yes, I still keep in touch with my primary school English teacher, Alisa. She was my personal tutor then, and now we exchange messages about my law studies, assignments and internship experiences every few months.

提案: Clarify who 'she' is and correct grammar and word choice (e.g. 'lists always guided me', 'vocabulary memorisation'). Give one clear example of the teaching method and its effect, using linking words. Keep it concise.

例: My favourite teacher helped me by using visual aids. For example, she created colourful flashcards and charts for vocabulary and IELTS tasks, and as a result I could remember words faster and perform better in tests.

提案: Answer directly, then explain briefly with specific reasons and an example. Correct grammar and tighten sentences (e.g. 'I have no preference between primary and high school teachers'). Avoid vague phrases like 'good growth development'.

例: I have no preference between my primary and high school teachers because both helped me a great deal. For instance, primary teachers built my English foundation, while high school teachers guided me through core subjects like physics, which prepared me for further studies.

× Yes, of course, for now I am a law student.

✓ Yes, of course; I am currently a law student.

Use of 'for now' is informal and awkward in this context. 'Currently' or 'at the moment' is the correct adverb to indicate present situation. Also use a semicolon or period to separate clauses for clarity.

× I met a professor who called ancient.

✓ I met a professor called Ancient.

The original sentence uses 'who called' incorrectly. To introduce a name or title, use 'called' without 'who' (reduced relative clause) or say 'who was called Ancient.' The phrase 'ancient' is unusual as a name; if it is a name or title, capitalize it.

× He's so dedicated on work and always explain every detail when we meet some difficulties.

✓ He's so dedicated to his work and always explains every detail when we encounter difficulties.

Use 'dedicated to' rather than 'dedicated on.' 'Work' needs a determiner: 'his work.' Subject-verb agreement: 'always explains' (third person singular). Use 'encounter' or 'have' difficulties instead of 'meet' difficulties.

× Frankly speaking, I don't want to be a teacher in the future because based on my personality, I'm not that kind person with the more patient to explain all the details to students.

✓ Frankly speaking, I don't want to be a teacher in the future because, based on my personality, I'm not the kind of person who is patient enough to explain all the details to students.

Problems: article and noun phrase ('the kind of person'), word order ('who is patient enough'), and unnecessary words like 'the more.' Use 'patient enough' to express sufficient patience.

× Also, being a teacher, you have to spend more time on caring and sort out other issues that in relation to students.

✓ Also, as a teacher, you have to spend a lot of time caring for and sorting out other issues related to students.

Use 'as a teacher' for role. Collocations: 'caring for' and 'sorting out.' Use 'a lot of time' rather than 'more time' (more compared to what is unclear). 'Related to students' is correct form instead of 'in relation to students.'

× So I don't think so I can.

✓ So I don't think I can.

Redundant 'so' and incorrect word order. The correct structure is 'So I don't think I can' or 'I don't think I could.'

× Since I was studying my bachelor degree in the United Kingdom, I met a professor who called Mary.

✓ When I was studying for my bachelor's degree in the United Kingdom, I met a professor called Mary.

Use 'when' or 'while' rather than 'since' for a past event. Collocation: 'studying for my bachelor's degree.' Use 'called Mary' or 'named Mary.'

× She's she is a Asian professor and she always offered good guidelines when we met some difficulties on assignments.

✓ She is an Asian professor, and she always offered good guidance when we had difficulties with assignments.

Remove duplicated 'She's she is.' Use 'an Asian' (vowel sound 'A'). 'Guidance' is an uncountable noun, not 'guidelines' in this context. Use past tense consistently ('offered') and 'had difficulties with assignments.'

× Also, she would provide more revision.

✓ Also, she would provide additional review sessions.

'Revision' is British and can be uncountable; context suggests 'review sessions' or 'additional revision materials.' 'Provide more revision' is awkward—specify what 'more' means.

× When I was in primary school, I was familiar with my English teacher who is called Alisa.

✓ When I was in primary school, I was close to my English teacher, Alisa.

'Familiar with' means knowing someone exists; 'close to' or 'friendly with' better expresses personal relationship. Use apposition 'English teacher, Alisa.'

× So far, I am still keeping in touch with her to share my law school journey, assignments, and other internship experience with her.

✓ So far, I am still in touch with her to share my law school journey, assignments, and internship experiences.

Use 'still in touch with' rather than 'still keeping in touch with her' for conciseness. Avoid repeating 'with her.' Use plural 'experiences' if multiple internships.

× Well, based on my experience, a list are always guide me based on cute card or chart to assist me when I met some difficulties such as vocabulary memorisations and other IELTS testing tasks, she would guide me by visualizations or images that assist me to memorize the stuff in a better.

✓ Well, based on my experience, a list always guided me using cute cards or charts to help when I had difficulties, such as memorizing vocabulary and other IELTS tasks; she guided me with visualizations or images that helped me memorize things better.

Many errors: subject-verb agreement ('a list always guided me'), wrong prepositions ('using'), plural nouns ('cards or charts'), past tense consistency ('had difficulties'), 'memorizing' (correct verb form), and phrase order ('helped me memorize things better'). Split into clearer clauses.

× Do you like your primary school teachers more than your high school teachers?

✓ Do you prefer your primary school teachers to your high school teachers?

Original is a question reproduced from examiner; student should use 'prefer X to Y.' This is stylistic and fixes comparative structure.

× In fact, I do not have any preference, both the primary school teachers and high school teachers.

✓ In fact, I do not have a preference between primary school teachers and high school teachers.

Use 'a preference between' to compare two groups. Remove redundant 'both' and articles.

× Frankly speaking, I they guide me a lot about the things I need to learn, especially some core courses such as physics and English.

✓ Frankly speaking, they guided me a lot about the things I needed to learn, especially core subjects such as Physics and English.

Remove stray 'I.' Use past tense 'guided' to match past reference. Use 'subjects' rather than 'courses' for school context and capitalize subject names.

× So without them, I do not have such a good growth development.

✓ So without them, I would not have developed so well.

Phrase 'growth development' is redundant. Use 'developed' to express personal progress. Conditional 'would not have' fits the hypothetical lack of support.