Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and start with a clear topic sentence. Avoid redundant phrasing (e.g., “I think I have” and “When I heard this question”). Use one linking phrase to add a specific example of what she did that made math enjoyable.

例: Yes. My favourite teacher was Elaine, my grade-school math teacher. She was always upbeat and used fun games and visual examples to explain concepts, which made math feel exciting and easy to understand.

提案: Directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence and avoid irrelevant or confusing details (the switch from 'teacher' to 'IT' is unclear). Keep it to two or three sentences and give a concise reason with one relevant detail (e.g., salary or job satisfaction). Avoid rhetorical questions to the examiner.

例: No, I don't plan to be a teacher. Although I considered teaching as a child, I now prefer another career because teaching salaries here are low — around 20,000 pesos — which would not cover my living expenses.

提案: Start with a concise topic sentence and then list two or three memorable teachers with brief, specific reasons why each stands out. Avoid hesitation and incomplete sentences; finish thoughts clearly.

例: Yes, I remember several. For example, Teacher Elaine made math fun in elementary school; Teacher Ray explained difficult physics concepts clearly and now teaches in Thailand; and Professor Gaddis inspired my interest in pathology at university.

提案: Good content and specific detail. Make the response slightly more concise and use one linking word to connect ideas. Avoid informal words like 'Oddly' unless explaining why it is unusual.

例: Yes, I am. For instance, Teacher Lynn recently messaged me about treating her dogs because she now lives on a remote island in Guam and has limited veterinary access, so she asked for home remedies I could recommend.

提案: Answer directly and combine similar ideas briefly. Use linking words such as 'for example' or 'in contrast' to compare how each teacher helped, and avoid repetition and filler phrases like 'from what I remember or from what my seniors told me'.

例: Teacher Elaine helped me enjoy mathematics by using games and clear examples, so I looked forward to her classes. In contrast, Teacher Ray made physics approachable by explaining difficult topics step by step, which reduced my fear of the subject.

提案: Begin with a clear direct answer (yes/no/neutral) and then give two concise reasons with linking words. Avoid informal repetition and unclear claims about 'bias' without explanation. Keep emotional language balanced.

例: Not really; I don't prefer one group overall. I had a fun time in primary school because I did well and received extra attention, but high school teachers were also kind even though the environment felt more political.

× I wanted to become a teacher when I was younger but I have no plans of being a teacher in the future because being IT in the Philippines isn't fulfilling.

✓ I wanted to become a teacher when I was younger, but I have no plans to be a teacher in the future because working in IT in the Philippines isn't fulfilling.

Error: misuse of verb forms and word choice. 'have no plans of being a teacher' is acceptable but 'have no plans to be a teacher' is more natural (infinitive after 'plans'). 'being IT' is incorrect; use 'working in IT' to describe employment. Also add a comma before 'but' joining two independent clauses. Suggestion: use 'have no plans to' + base verb and 'working in [field]'.

× I just remember her being positive all the time and that she teaches math with such joy and it made me love math so much.

✓ I just remember her being positive all the time and teaching math with such joy that it made me love math so much.

Error: sentence structure and article/connector use. The clause 'and that she teaches math with such joy and it made me' is awkward and has a clause mismatch. Combine gerund phrases: 'her being positive' and 'teaching math', then use 'that' to introduce result. Suggestion: use parallel gerund structures and link cause and effect clearly.

× Do you know how much the salary costs or the salary they have?

✓ Do you know how much the salary is or how much they earn?

Error: incorrect collocation 'salary costs' and awkward phrasing 'the salary they have'. Use 'how much the salary is' or better 'how much they earn' to ask about pay. Suggestion: use 'earn' or 'is' with 'salary'.

× That's like a day's worth of my current expenses.

✓ That's about a day's worth of my current expenses.

Error: missing adverb for natural idiom. 'Like' is conversational but 'about' fits formal correction. Also 'a day's worth of my current expenses' is fine; adding 'about' improves fluency. Suggestion: use 'about' when estimating.

× I remember teacher Elaine, mathematics elementary teacher.

✓ I remember teacher Elaine, my elementary mathematics teacher.

Error: incorrect word order and missing possessive/article. Use 'my' to show relation and natural modifier order 'elementary mathematics teacher'. Suggestion: order noun modifiers as 'elementary mathematics teacher' and include 'my' when speaking of one's teacher.

× I remember teacher Ray, who was my high school biology and physics professor or teacher who is now teaching in Thailand.

✓ I remember teacher Ray, who was my high school biology and physics teacher and is now teaching in Thailand.

Error: redundant words and inconsistent pronoun/reference. 'Professor or teacher who is now teaching' is wordy. Combine clauses: 'who was my ... teacher and is now teaching in Thailand.' Suggestion: remove redundancy and keep tense consistency.

× And definitely I remember Talk Gaddis, my pathology professor in university that I.

✓ And I definitely remember Dr. Gaddis, my pathology professor at university.

Error: sentence fragment and misplaced words. The original trails off with 'that I.' Remove fragment, correct name/title (if 'Talk' is wrong perhaps 'Dr.'), and use 'at university' or 'in university' as appropriate. Suggestion: complete the sentence and use 'at university' for location.

× Apparently she's in Guam now, living in a remote island, so veterinary access there is quite difficult.

✓ Apparently she's in Guam now, living on a remote island, so veterinary access there is quite difficult.

Error: incorrect preposition with 'island'. Use 'on an island' or 'on a remote island' not 'in a remote island'. Suggestion: use 'on' for islands and include article 'a'.

× So she asked me any herbal medications or home remedies to give to her dogs.

✓ So she asked me about any herbal medications or home remedies to give her dogs.

Error: missing preposition 'about' after 'asked me' and unnecessary 'to' before 'her dogs'. Correct form: 'asked me about ... to give her dogs.' Suggestion: use 'asked me about' when requesting information.

× Teacher Elaine helped me enjoy mathematics. I remember being ecstatic whenever it's time for her subject.

✓ Teacher Elaine helped me enjoy mathematics. I remember being ecstatic whenever it was time for her class.

Error: tense inconsistency. 'I remember being ecstatic whenever it's time' mixes past memory with present 'it's'. Use past 'it was time' to match 'remember' referencing past events. Also 'her subject' -> 'her class' is more natural. Suggestion: maintain past tense when describing past experiences.

× From what I remember or from what my seniors told me, physics is a is a scary subject, but he did not make it scary.

✓ From what I remember or what my seniors told me, physics is a scary subject, but he did not make it scary.

Error: duplicate 'is a is a' and extra article. Remove the repeated phrase. Suggestion: proofread to eliminate duplicates and keep article usage correct.

× I won't say I like my primary school teachers more, but I remember having a a fun elementary school experience because I was the top one.

✓ I won't say I like my primary school teachers more, but I remember having a fun elementary school experience because I was top of the class.

Error: duplicated 'a a' and awkward phrase 'the top one.' Use 'top of the class' for clarity and remove duplicate article. Suggestion: use common expressions like 'top of the class.'

× Those people or or the teachers were biased more to me.

✓ Those people, meaning the teachers, were more biased toward me.

Error: awkward phrasing and preposition choice. Use 'biased toward' (or 'towards') not 'biased to', and clarify 'those people' by specifying 'the teachers'. Suggestion: use 'biased toward someone' and avoid repetition.

× But with high school, there's so much politics. But I like my teachers back then. They're all kind.

✓ In high school there was a lot of politics, but I still liked my teachers back then; they were all kind.

Error: repetitive use of 'but' to start sentences and tense inconsistency ('there's' present vs past context). Use past tense 'was' for past timeframe, combine clauses to avoid starting multiple sentences with 'but.' Suggestion: vary sentence starters and keep tense consistent.