Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid awkward phrasing and grammar errors (e.g., 'always have a student after class' → 'always stays after class to help students'). Add one specific example of what made him inspiring. Keep to maximum 3–4 sentences and use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

例: My favorite teacher is my maths teacher. He has a leg disability but always stays after class to help students, which shows his dedication. For example, he used to give me extra problems and patiently explain each step, and because of that I became more confident in maths.

提案: Avoid hesitations and irrelevant details. The film reference is unclear and Jaws is unrelated; such confusion reduces coherence. Begin with a direct topic sentence, briefly explain the change with a clear reason, and give a specific example of what you enjoy about teaching. Use linking words like 'however' and 'because' properly.

例: I would like to be a teacher in the future. When I was a child I thought teaching was difficult, but later I changed my mind because I enjoy helping others learn. For example, I like seeing students understand a problem after I explain it, which motivates me to consider teaching as a career.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity. Use a clear topic sentence and avoid colloquial fillers ('guys', 'like'). Correct verb forms and phrasing ('I am really inspired by him' or 'he inspired me'). Add a specific trait or anecdote that illustrates his extroversion and strictness, linked logically with 'but' or 'however'.

例: Yes, I still remember my maths teacher. He was very outgoing but strict when necessary, which helped create a disciplined yet friendly classroom. For example, he would make lessons lively with jokes but insist we finish difficult exercises, and that balance inspired me.

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct, concise and coherent. Start with a direct response, then give one or two clear reasons without repetition. Use past tense consistently and avoid unclear phrases like 'a listing between us'. Replace vague words with specific details (e.g., 'we did not get along' and 'there were misunderstandings').

例: No, I'm not in touch with them. When I was at primary school I didn't get along with some teachers because of misunderstandings and misbehavior, so our relationship ended after I moved on to secondary school.

提案: Good content but fix grammar and tighten wording. Use present/past consistently ('encouraged' and 'believed'), remove redundant phrases, and provide one specific result or example of improvement. Use linking words like 'so' or 'therefore' to show cause and effect.

例: My favourite teacher encouraged me to enter a national maths competition because he believed I had the ability. As a result, I practiced harder, improved my problem-solving skills, and became more confident speaking up in class.

提案: Clarify tense and meaning; correct grammar and avoid double negatives. Begin with a direct answer, then explain concisely why you appreciate high school teachers more, giving one specific reason or example. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'when'.

例: No, I prefer my high school teachers. When I was in primary school I was too immature to appreciate their efforts, but in high school I matured and realized how much they helped me with study skills and university guidance.

× He has a leg disability, but he is incredibly dedicated and always have a student after class, which makes him very inspiring to me.

✓ He has a leg disability, but he is incredibly dedicated and always has a student after class, which makes him very inspiring to me.

The verb for third person singular subjects (he) requires an -s ending in the present simple. 'Have' should be 'has'. Suggestion: add -s for he/she/it with present simple verbs.

× When I was a child, I didn't want to be a teacher because I thought it seemed like a very difficult and confusing job.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't want to be a teacher because I thought it was a very difficult and confusing job.

The clause refers to a past state, so the verb 'seem' should be in past form 'was' to match 'thought'. Use consistent past tense for past-time descriptions.

× However, after watching a film about umm, like uh, the Jaws, I changed my mind completely.

✓ However, after watching a film like Jaws, I changed my mind completely.

Use of the definite article 'the' before a movie title is usually incorrect unless the article is part of the title. Also 'about' is unnecessary here. Suggest removing 'the' and 'about' and the filler words.

× Now I want to become a teacher because I enjoy having students learn.

✓ Now I want to become a teacher because I enjoy seeing students learn.

'Having students learn' is awkward; 'seeing students learn' or 'helping students learn' uses more natural verb patterns. Present participle 'having' with 'students learn' is not idiomatic.

× Yes, as I tell you, my maths teacher, he's very special guys that I meet in this world.

✓ Yes, as I told you, my maths teacher is a very special person I met in this world.

Pronoun and number agreement issues: 'he's' and 'guys' conflict; 'guys' is plural/informal. Also tense 'tell' should be past 'told' and 'meet' should be past 'met'. Use 'person' for singular.

× He's like so extrovert but really strict when needed and I really inspired by him.

✓ He's very extroverted but really strict when needed, and I am really inspired by him.

'Extrovert' as used needs the adjective form 'extroverted' or 'extrovert' as noun. 'Like so' is colloquial and incorrect in formal speech. 'I really inspired by him' misses auxiliary; use 'I am inspired by him'.

× No, I'm not since when I was in primary school my relationships between me and my teachers is not was not very well and we not get along with each other, so there's a lot of difficult and misbehavior with a listing between us.

✓ No, I'm not. When I was in primary school my relationship with my teachers was not very good and we did not get along with each other, so there were many difficulties and misbehavior between us.

Multiple structural errors: 'No, I'm not' needs completion (not in touch). 'Relationships between me and my teachers' should be 'my relationship with my teachers'. Tense and agreement: use past 'was' and 'did not get along'. 'A lot of difficult' is incorrect; use 'many difficulties'. Remove unclear 'a listing'.

× He encouraged me to enter a national maths competition because he would believe I had the ability and that confident helped me improve my problem solving skills and become more confident in class.

✓ He encouraged me to enter a national maths competition because he believed I had the ability, and that confidence helped me improve my problem-solving skills and become more confident in class.

Use simple past 'believed' rather than 'would believe' for a past action. 'Confident' (adjective) should be the noun 'confidence'. Also hyphenate 'problem-solving' as a compound modifier. This fixes tense and word-form errors.

× I don't think so. When I was in primary school I was not mature enough to understand how important no my teachers were.

✓ I don't think so. When I was in primary school I was not mature enough to understand how important my teachers were.

Remove the erroneous 'no'. The sentence mixes present opinion with past explanation which is fine; ensure the past clause is correct and concise.

× But when I in high school I get nothing much mature and I feel more appreciate them.

✓ But when I was in high school I became much more mature and I appreciate them more.

Missing auxiliary 'was' after 'when I'. 'Get nothing much mature' is ungrammatical; use 'became much more mature'. 'I feel more appreciate them' should be 'I appreciate them more' to use correct verb and word order.