Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific example, and use linking words (for example, because, so) correctly. Avoid awkward phrases like “the defence of Romantic” and correct tense/word forms (e.g., “teaches lectures” → “teaches” or “gives lectures”).

例: My favorite teacher is my university professor. For example, last Friday he gave a seminar where he asked us to defend Romantic literature without using AI tools, which challenged us to think independently. Because of his teaching style, I now try to form my own ideas before checking any references.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then explain one or two concise reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition (frustrating and exhausted) and simplify phrasing (e.g., “I tutored a middle school student” not “like a tutoring”).

例: No, I don't want to be a teacher. For instance, I tutored a middle-school student last month and repeated the lessons several times, but he still forgot what I taught. Because that experience was very frustrating and tiring, I prefer another career.

提案: Organize into a clear topic sentence then one specific supporting detail. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., “poor in English” not “pour in English performance,” and avoid unclear words like “infect me”). Use linking words (for example, because, so) to make the reason clear.

例: Yes. I remember my junior high English teacher because she helped me improve from poor grades to much better results. For example, she gave me extra practice exercises and personal feedback, so I gradually raised my scores and became more confident.

提案: Answer directly, then give one or two clear reasons. Improve grammar and phrasing (e.g., “I couldn't contact them” not “add up my teacher's connect ways,” and avoid double negatives like “we barely don't talk”). Use linking words like “also” and “because.”

例: No, I'm not still in touch with them. When I was in primary school I didn't have a phone to save their contacts, and one teacher has since retired while another is very busy with work, so we rarely communicate.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence describing the help, then give a specific example and reason. Correct grammar (e.g., “helped me think more deeply” not “helped me to thinking deeply”) and avoid vague phrasing (“something like that”). Use linking words such as “because” or “so” to connect ideas.

例: He has helped me by training me to think more deeply and independently. For example, he often asks us to write essays without using AI tools so we must form our own arguments, which has improved my critical thinking and writing skills.

提案: Give a direct comparison sentence, then provide one clear reason for preference with correct grammar and vocabulary. Use linking words (however, because) and avoid incorrect pluralization (e.g., “my high school teachers” not “students”).

例: No, I prefer my high school teachers. Because my primary school headmistress seemed biased against me and rarely encouraged me, I felt demotivated. In contrast, my high school teachers treated all students fairly and supported my learning, which helped me improve.

× For now it's my professor who is teaching lectures.

✓ For now, it's my professor who teaches my lectures.

The original mixes progressive 'is teaching' with a general habitual situation. Use simple present 'teaches' for repeated actions or roles. Also add a comma after 'For now' for clarity.

× For example, last Friday he inspired us to think what the defence of Romantic without using AI tools.

✓ For example, last Friday he inspired us to think about defending Romanticism without using AI tools.

Missing preposition 'about' and incorrect noun form 'defence' in this context. Also 'Romantic' should be 'Romanticism' as the noun. Use past simple 'inspired' is correct for a past event; adjust surrounding words for grammatical correctness.

× So I think his class is quite inspiring and encouraged us to think independently and that's very useful for me.

✓ So I think his class is quite inspiring and encourages us to think independently, which is very useful to me.

Tense and agreement mismatch: 'is inspiring and encouraged' mixes present and past. Use parallel structure 'is inspiring and encourages' or both present. Use 'useful to me' not 'for me' in this context; add comma and relative clause for clarity.

× I think it's an really exhausting work because last month I tried an internship to teach a middle school student like a tutoring and I taught him more than three times, decided to do something and I really hope he can remember that, but he didn't.

✓ I think it's really exhausting work because last month I did a teaching internship tutoring a middle school student; I taught him more than three times, encouraged him to do something, and hoped he would remember it, but he didn't.

Wrong article 'an' before consonant sound; awkward phrasing 'tried an internship'. Use 'did a teaching internship' or 'undertook an internship'. Combine clauses with clearer verbs and correct tense sequence: 'hoped he would remember' after past. Replace 'like a tutoring' with 'tutoring'.

× So that's really frustrating and exhausted.

✓ So that's really frustrating and exhausting.

'Exhausted' describes a person who feels tired; 'exhausting' describes a situation. Use 'exhausting' to describe the experience.

× I remember my junior high school's English teacher, ** *** inspired me to study English in an efficient way because when I just entered the school and pour in English performance and I don't, I didn't get high scores.

✓ I remember my junior high school's English teacher, who inspired me to study English more effectively because when I first entered the school I performed poorly in English and didn't get high scores.

Missing relative pronoun 'who'. 'Pour in English performance' is incorrect; use 'performed poorly in English'. Remove redundant 'I don't'. Use 'first' for initial time and simple past 'didn't' for past state.

× But she helped me at the time and inspired me and encouraged me to get this score and maybe infect me.

✓ But she helped, inspired, and encouraged me to improve my grades, and perhaps even influenced me more broadly.

Awkward repetition and wrong word 'infect' (wrong meaning). Use parallel verbs and clearer object 'improve my grades'. 'Influenced' is the correct verb to express impact on attitude or behavior.

× No, I don't think so because when I was a primary school students I don't have a cellphone to add up my teacher's connect ways and for now one of my teacher is retired and so I lost contact with her and another is really busy with his work so we barely don't talk to each other.

✓ No, I don't think so because when I was a primary school student I didn't have a cellphone to add my teachers' contact details. Now one of my teachers is retired, so I lost contact with her, and another is really busy with his work, so we hardly ever talk to each other.

Plural/singular errors: 'students' should be 'student'; possessive/plural 'teachers' and 'teachers' contact details'. Tense wrong 'don't have' should be past 'didn't have'. 'Add up my teacher's connect ways' is incorrect; use 'add my teachers' contact details'. 'Barely don't' is a double negative; use 'hardly ever'.

× For now, as I said, my favorite teacher is my professor teaching lecture, so he helped me to thinking deeply and thinking twice as we live in an AI world and we use AI tools to help us thinking, writing and essay and something like that without our own thinking.

✓ For now, as I said, my favorite teacher is my professor who teaches lectures, so he helped me to think deeply and to think twice because we live in an AI world and use AI tools to help us with thinking, writing essays, and similar tasks without our own thinking.

Incorrect verb forms: 'helped me to thinking' should be 'helped me to think' or 'helped me think'. Use 'who teaches lectures' or 'teaches my lectures'. 'Writing and essay' incorrect—use 'writing essays'. Use parallel infinitives 'to think deeply and to think twice'.

× But my professor forced us to think.

✓ But my professor forced us to think for ourselves.

Add 'for ourselves' to clarify meaning; otherwise sentence is grammatical but could be more precise.

× No I don't like my primary school teachers because my headmaster at that time have a biases on me and she always think I'm not good enough and she prefer other students than me.

✓ No, I didn't like my primary school teachers because my headmistress at that time had biases against me; she always thought I wasn't good enough and preferred other students to me.

Subject-verb agreement and tense: 'have' should be 'had' for past, 'a biases' incorrect article and plural—use 'biases' without 'a' or 'a bias'. 'Think' and 'prefer' should be past 'thought' and 'preferred'. Use 'biases against me' and 'preferred other students to me'.

× But my high school students see me and other students equally and always help me with my study problems and encourage me to have a better performance in school so I learn.

✓ But my high school teachers treated me and the other students equally, always helped me with my studies, and encouraged me to perform better at school, so I improved.

Confusion between 'students' and 'teachers'—context requires 'teachers'. Use past tense 'treated', parallel verbs 'helped' and 'encouraged', 'study problems' -> 'studies' or 'academic problems'. 'Have a better performance' -> 'perform better'. End with appropriate past result 'so I improved'.