Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct vocabulary (teacher not churches), and avoid filler words. Add one specific example of how she inspired you using a linking word (for example, "for instance" or "for example"). Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, my favourite teacher is Dr. Karma, who taught accounting at my university. For instance, she showed me how to reconcile complex accounts step by step, which greatly improved my accuracy. Because of her guidance, I now double-check my work and follow a clear process to get things done correctly.

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct and more direct. Use a clear topic sentence stating your intention, then give one or two reasons with linking words like "because" or "so". Avoid repeating phrases and reduce length to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher in the future because I enjoy helping others learn. For example, I find it rewarding to help students develop practical skills and confidence so they can succeed in their careers.

提案: Clarify who you mean and correct grammar. Begin with a topic sentence naming the teacher and the subject, then give a specific memory using linking words like "I remember" or "for example." Avoid hesitations and ensure sentences are complete.

例: Yes, I remember my childhood German teacher, Mrs. Schmidt, who taught with great enthusiasm. I remember that she used games and songs to make lessons enjoyable, so I felt motivated to learn and became more confident speaking German.

提案: Respond directly and combine short sentences for fluency. Use correct expressions ("I’m afraid not" rather than "I have to regret not anymore") and include a brief reason using a linking word like "because". Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I'm afraid not — I haven't stayed in touch with my primary school teachers since I moved to Sydney. Because I live overseas, it's been difficult to keep contact with teachers and friends in Thailand for the past four years.

提案: Be specific and finish your ideas. Start with a clear topic sentence about how she helped you, then give two concrete examples with linking words like "for example" and "also." Avoid unfinished phrases and filler words. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: My favourite teacher helped me improve both my technical skills and my confidence. For example, she patiently explained difficult accounting concepts until I understood them, and she also taught me stress-management techniques, such as organizing tasks and taking short breaks, which reduced my exam anxiety.

× Yes I do uh, my favorite churches is Doctor Karma.

✓ Yes, I do. My favorite teacher is Dr. Karma.

'churches' is plural and unrelated; the speaker meant a single teacher. Use singular 'teacher' and correct title 'Dr.' Also split into two sentences and add commas for clarity.

× She taught me uh, in accounting subjects when I was studying at university.

✓ She taught me accounting subjects when I was studying at university.

The preposition 'in' before 'accounting subjects' is unnecessary. Use the direct object 'taught me accounting subjects'.

× She inspired me a lot how to be a good accountant and how to get things done correctly.

✓ She inspired me a lot by showing me how to be a good accountant and how to get things done correctly.

The sentence lacks a connecting phrase. Add 'by showing me' to link 'inspired me' with the explanatory clause. This fixes sentence structure and clarity.

× Yes, of course, if I'd like to be a teachers in the future, if I get a chance, be able to help people or help students develop their individual skill would be something very rewarding.

✓ Yes, of course. If I would like to be a teacher in the future and get a chance to do so, being able to help people and help students develop their individual skills would be very rewarding.

Several issues: 'I'd like' conflicts with conditional—use 'would like' with conditional phrasing; 'teachers' should be singular 'teacher'; 'skill' should be plural 'skills'. Use gerund 'being able' to form a noun phrase. Also improve sentence structure by breaking into clearer clauses.

× Yes, I do. Uh, one of my favorite teachers when I was a kid is uh doctors and she taught me in German language with I've was very enjoyable and I like the way she taught.

✓ Yes, I do. One of my favorite teachers when I was a kid was a doctor, and she taught me German, which was very enjoyable; I liked the way she taught.

'is' should be past 'was' to match 'when I was a kid'. 'doctors' (plural) should be 'a doctor' (singular). 'in German language' is awkward—use 'German'. 'I've was' is incorrect; use 'which was' or 'and it was'. Adjust tense and pronouns for clarity.

× She very kind person.

✓ She was a very kind person.

Missing verb 'was' and article 'a'. Include 'was' to form a complete verb phrase and 'a' before the noun phrase. 'Very' correctly modifies 'kind'.

× I have to regret not anymore.

✓ I regret it now; I am no longer in contact.

Original sentence is ungrammatical. 'I have to regret not anymore' lacks clear structure. Provide a correct form: 'I regret it' and clarify 'no longer in contact'.

× Since I moved to Sydney. It's very difficult to keep in touch with someone, stay overseas, so I haven't contact with any teacher or friends from Thailand for four years now.

✓ Since I moved to Sydney, it has been very difficult to keep in touch with people who stay overseas, so I haven't been in contact with any teachers or friends from Thailand for four years now.

Combine clauses into one sentence. Use 'it has been' instead of 'It's' for formal tone. 'someone, stay overseas' is incorrect—use 'people who stay overseas'. 'I haven't contact' should be 'I haven't been in contact'. Use plural 'teachers'.

× So she uh, talking about my, uh, favorite teacher to help me in many ways.

✓ So she, my favorite teacher, talked about helping me in many ways.

Original uses 'talking' incorrectly; past tense 'talked' matches context. Better to restructure: 'my favorite teacher talked about helping me' or 'she helped me in many ways.'

× For instance, she umm, helped me to clarifies and improve my individual skill associated with the subjects that she taught.

✓ For instance, she helped me to clarify and improve my individual skills related to the subjects she taught.

'clarifies' is wrong form; use base 'clarify' after 'helped me to'. 'skill' should be plural 'skills'. 'associated with' is wordy; 'related to' is more natural.

× Also, she helped me overcome and order stress while.

✓ Also, she helped me overcome and manage stress.

Original is incomplete and unclear: 'overcome and order stress while' is ungrammatical. Use 'overcome and manage stress' to convey the intended meaning succinctly.