Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate, concise and specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and possessives, and give one or two specific reasons (with brief examples) rather than vague statements. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “because” and “for example”).

例: Yes. My favourite teacher at college was my English instructor because she helped me develop my confidence and vocabulary. For example, she encouraged class discussions and gave useful feedback on my essays, which improved my speaking and writing.

提案: Remove filler words (uh, um) and simplify the structure. Give a clear reason and a short supporting detail. Use linking words like “because” and “for this reason” to make the answer coherent.

例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher in the future because I respect the profession and enjoy helping others learn. For this reason, I plan to specialise in teaching English so I can support students in improving their communication skills.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and correct grammar and word choice (e.g. “Quran teacher” or “my teacher who taught me the Quran”). Mention one specific memory or quality to make the answer concrete and use a linking phrase such as “for example” or “in particular”.

例: Yes. I still remember my Quran teacher from childhood because she was very patient and kind. For example, she spent extra time helping me pronounce difficult words, which made learning much easier.

提案: Be concise and grammatical. Start with a clear negative/positive answer, then give one clear reason with a precise time reference. Avoid awkward phrases like “it was a huge time before”. Use linking words such as “because” or “since”.

例: No, I am not in touch with my primary school teachers because I am now at university and we lost contact over many years. Since I moved cities for studies, it has been difficult to keep in touch.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and two specific examples of how the teacher helped (one academic, one personal). Remove fillers and vague phrases like “especially too” and “UMM”. Use linking words like “also” and “for example” to organize points.

例: She helped me both academically and personally. For example, academically she explained grammar clearly and gave extra practice, and personally she offered advice and encouragement that helped me overcome shyness and handle stressful situations.

× Yes, I do have a favorite teacher in my college, she want our English teacher and she was one of my best teacher in my life because she grows me spiritually. True.

✓ Yes, I have a favorite teacher at my college. She was our English teacher and she was one of the best teachers in my life because she helped me grow spiritually.

Problems: incorrect pronoun/reference and sentence run-on, wrong verb forms and articles. Use 'at my college' not 'in my college' for location, use two sentences or a conjunction to avoid comma splice, 'want' is wrong (should be 'was' if referring to past role), 'best teacher' needs plural 'teachers', and 'grows me' should be past tense 'helped me grow'. Suggestion: break into clear sentences, use correct verb tense and plural nouns, and use proper preposition 'at'.

× To be honest with you, uh, definitely yes. And I want to become a teacher in my future, uh, because in, I think, uh, teachers are huge. Uh, had a huge respect in our society.

✓ To be honest, definitely yes. I want to become a teacher in the future because I think teachers have great importance and are highly respected in our society.

Problems: awkward phrase 'in my future' (use 'in the future'), tense inconsistency 'had a huge respect' (should be present 'are respected' or 'have respect'), and vague 'teachers are huge' is incorrect adjective use. Suggestion: use 'in the future', use present tense for general truths, and replace 'huge' with 'important' or 'highly respected'.

× Uh, yes, I remember a lot of teacher from my past, but one teacher that I remember now was my name Quran teacher. She was one of my uh, favorite teacher.

✓ Yes, I remember many teachers from my past, but one teacher I remember now was my Quran teacher. She was one of my favorite teachers.

Problems: 'a lot of teacher' should be 'many teachers' (plural and quantifier), 'my name Quran teacher' is incorrect word order—use 'my Quran teacher', and 'favorite teacher' should be plural 'favorite teachers' when using 'one of'. Suggestion: use appropriate quantifiers ('many'), correct noun order, and pluralize when referring to 'one of the ... teachers'.

× Umm no, I am not in touch with the primary school teachers because and now I am in university so it was a huge time before.

✓ No, I am not in touch with my primary school teachers because I am now at university and many years have passed since then.

Problems: sentence has extra conjunction 'because and', wrong preposition 'in university' (use 'at university' or 'at the university'), and unclear time expression 'it was a huge time before'. Suggestion: remove the unnecessary conjunction, use 'at university', and express elapsed time clearly ('many years have passed').

× My favorite teacher only helped me umm, academically as well as especially too UMM. She also helped me uh, to face the umm, challenges of umm, life.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me academically and especially helped me face the challenges of life.

Problems: redundant adverbs and fillers, awkward word order 'especially too', unnecessary 'to' before 'face' when 'helped me face' is correct, and extra commas. Suggestion: remove filler words, simplify to 'helped me academically' and 'helped me face the challenges of life'.