Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答较完整但有语法和表达不自然之处，建议：1) 开头直接给出主题句并用一两句具体细节支持（避免冗余）；2) 修正语法错误（如冠词、时态、可数名词）；3) 减少语气词和停顿，使用连接词使句子更流畅。示例练习方向：把“she's the uh”与重复句删去，改用具体例子说明她的耐心。

例: Yes. My favorite teacher was my high school English teacher. She was incredibly patient and helped me improve my writing by giving clear, step-by-step feedback on my essays. For example, she would mark my errors, explain how to fix them, and then ask me to revise, which helped me progress quickly.

提案: 内容相关但表达混乱且有语法错误。建议：1) 用一两句直接回答并说明原因；2) 注意冠词和单复数（a English → an English；a children → a child）；3) 用连接词（because, so）清晰组织句子；4) 避免停顿声词，控制句子长度。

例: Yes, I do. I am studying English education, so I want to become an English teacher. I find it exciting to help children learn and grow because teaching allows me to share knowledge and see students improve over time.

提案: 回答重复且有语法问题，建议：1) 简明回答并给出具体影响的例子；2) 改正词形和搭配（teachers→teacher，patient→patience，endeavor用法不当可换成 dedication or hard work）；3) 使用连接词提升连贯性（for example, because, so）。

例: Yes, I still remember my high school English teacher. Her dedication and patience sparked my interest in English; for example, she spent extra time helping me with writing and encouraged me to pursue a career in education.

提案: 回答清楚但时态混用、冗余较多。建议：1) 使用一致时态（past for childhood facts）；2) 精简表述，避免重复（I don't have → I didn't have）；3) 用一两句补充具体方式（how parents keep in touch）。

例: Not really. I didn’t have a phone or WeChat when I was in primary school, so I don’t have my teachers’ contact details. My parents, especially my mother, still talk with them sometimes and pass on news about me.

提案: 回答有内容但表达重复、不够流畅且有语法问题。建议：1) 直接用一到两句说明具体帮助方式；2) 注意动词时态和形式（improve→improved/she would praise→she praised or she would praise me when I improved）；3) 提供一个具体例子说明结果或感受并用连接词衔接。

例: My English teacher improved my writing by using positive reinforcement. For instance, when I showed clear improvement, she would praise my work in front of the class, which boosted my confidence and motivated me to keep working harder.

× She is my high school English teacher and she's the uh.

✓ She is my high‑school English teacher.

句子中“the uh”是不完整或多余的填充词，应去掉。另外“high school”作复合形容词修饰“English teacher”时常写作“high‑school English teacher”或“high school English teacher”。简洁表达更符合书面语。建议去掉口语填充词，保持简洁。

× She's one of the most patient and kind person I know because when I was in my high school, my writing is not really good and she is really patient who instruct me how to write it and I progress faster.

✓ She's one of the most patient and kind people I know, because when I was in high school my writing was not very good and she was very patient, instructing me how to write and helping me make faster progress.

问题包括：1) “one of the most ... person”应为复数“people”（类别1/27）；2) 时态不一致，应把回忆的时间用过去时“was”；3) “patient who instruct me”结构错误，应用现在分词或从句“who instructed me”或“instructing me”；4) “progress faster”要用名词短语“make faster progress”或“progress faster”与动词搭配更自然。改正方法：将名词改为复数，统一使用过去时，改用现在分词或过去式表达行为，并使用合适搭配。

× she is really patient who instruct me how to write it and I progress faster.

✓ she was really patient, instructing me how to write, and I made faster progress.

在描述过去发生的耐心教导时，应使用过去时态。原句中“instruct me”用一般现在时且结构位置不当，改为现在分词“instructing”或过去式“instructed”更流畅；“progress”作为名词更常用搭配是“make progress”。建议用过去时并把动词改为现在分词或过去式。

× Oh yeah, that's the point of my career, developing this because my major is in English education, so I really want to be a English teacher in the future.

✓ Oh yeah, that's the point of my career development, because my major is in English education, so I really want to be an English teacher in the future.

问题包括：1) “point of my career, developing this”表达不自然，改为“point of my career development”；2) “a English teacher”冠词错误，应为“an English teacher”因为“English”以元音音素开头。建议调整短语顺序并使用正确不定冠词。

× I think that's a quite in, uh, exciting thing to, uh, to see a children grow up and umm, have more knowledge by teaching him.

✓ I think that's quite an exciting thing: to see children grow up and gain more knowledge by teaching them.

问题包括：1) 冠词和形容词顺序错误，“a quite in exciting”不正确，应为“quite an exciting”；2) “a children”应为复数“children”，不能与不定冠词连用；3) 代词“him”与前文的“children”数不一致，改为“them”；4) “have more knowledge”口语可改为“gain more knowledge”更自然。建议注意冠词与可数名词的搭配、形容词顺序以及人称代词的一致性。

× Oh yeah, As I mentioned, my high school English teachers because of, uh, because of her, uh, endeavor and her patient that made me really interested in English and really influenced me about my future career development.

✓ Oh yeah. As I mentioned, my high‑school English teacher — because of her effort and patience — made me really interested in English and strongly influenced my future career development.

问题：1) “teachers”与上下文应为单数“teacher”；2) “because of, uh, because of her”重复且口语化冗余，应简化为“because of her”；3) “endeavor and her patient”用词错误，应为“effort and patience”；4) “influenced me about my future career development”搭配不正确，改为“influenced my future career development”更自然。建议使用正确词汇并保持数的一致性，去掉重复表达。

× Well, not really, but my parents, especially my mom, still keep in touch with my primary school teacher.

✓ Well, not really, but my parents, especially my mom, still keep in touch with my primary‑school teachers.

若父母与多位小学老师保持联系，应将“teacher”改为复数“teachers”。根据上下文，学生之前表示没有直接联系方式，所以父母代为联系多位老师更合理。注意名词单复数和上下文一致。

× You know, when I was in primary school, I don't have phone, not to say WeChat.

✓ You know, when I was in primary school, I didn't have a phone, let alone WeChat.

时态应为过去时“didn't have”；且“phone”前需不定冠词“a phone”；“not to say WeChat”英语习惯用法为“let alone WeChat”。建议使用正确的过去时和固定搭配。

× So I have, I don't have their number to contact with them, but I can talk with them through my parents.

✓ So I didn't have their numbers to contact them, but I could talk to them through my parents.

问题：1) 时态应为过去时“didn't have”；2) “their number”若指多位老师应为复数“their numbers”；3) “contact with them”搭配错误，正确为“contact them”或“get in touch with them”；4) 主句与从句时态需一致。建议统一过去时，使用正确动词短语。

× I would say my favorite teacher is my English teacher. That's really absolutely.

✓ I would say my favorite teacher is my English teacher. That's absolutely true.

“That's really absolutely”是冗余且语法混乱，应改为“That's absolutely true”或“That's really true”。建议选择单一程度副词并放在适当位置以避免重复。

× And she always umm, improve my writing skills through some positive method like, uh, if I uh, have a progress on writing, she would praise me in front of the whole class, which gives me a sense of achievement.

✓ And she always improved my writing skills through positive methods. For example, if I made progress in writing, she would praise me in front of the whole class, which gave me a sense of achievement.

问题：1) 叙述回忆应使用过去时，“improve”应为“improved”；2) “have a progress”搭配错误，应为“make progress”或“made progress in writing”；3) 时态需一致，结果也应使用过去时“gave”。建议统一使用过去时态，改用正确动词短语“make progress”。