Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and word forms, reduce fillers (uh), and add one specific example of how she helped you using linking words (for example, "for instance"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes. My favorite teacher is Susila, who taught me in high school. She was very hardworking and taught me time-management skills; for instance, she showed me how to plan weekly study schedules, which helped me improve my grades.

提案: Improve grammar, avoid contradictions and reduce repetition. Begin with a direct topic sentence stating your career choice, then give one or two concise reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'although'. Correct noun/verb forms and possessives.

例: No, I don't want to be a teacher. I want to become a nurse because I enjoy caring for people and working in hospitals; although I deeply respect teachers, nursing is my preferred career.

提案: Make sentences clearer and avoid vague or exaggerated phrases like 'saved my future'. Use specific details about what the teacher did and correct tense and word order. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'for example' to explain.

例: Yes, I still remember my high school science teacher. He encouraged me to study science and helped me prepare for university entrance exams, which changed my career path for the better.

提案: Clarify the reason and remove unclear phrases and extra fillers. Use a concise structure: direct answer + brief reason + a personal feeling. Correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., 'distance' not 'distance times', 'hometown').

例: No, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers because I moved far away from my hometown. However, I miss them and often remember the lessons I learned there.

提案: Be specific about the ways the teacher helped and use correct pronouns and tense. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one concrete example and result using linking words like 'for example' or 'as a result'.

例: My favorite teacher helped me by encouraging me to study science. For example, he gave extra tutoring and recommended books, and as a result I chose science for university and felt more confident about my studies.

× Yes, I have a favorite teacher since my high school and her name is Susila.

✓ Yes, I have had a favorite teacher since high school, and her name is Susila.

The phrase 'since my high school' is incorrect; use 'since high school'. When an action or state began in the past and continues to the present, use present perfect 'have had'. Also add a comma and 'and' for correct sentence structure.

× She is so much hard working girl.

✓ She is a very hardworking girl.

'Hard working' should be one word 'hardworking'. 'So much' is unnatural here; use 'very' and include the article 'a' before the noun.

× She really teach me uh, how to manage your time and how to uh do best in our lives.

✓ She really taught me how to manage my time and how to do my best in life.

Reporting a past action uses past tense 'taught'. Pronouns must be consistent with the speaker: use 'my time' and 'my best' not 'your' or 'our'. 'Do best in our lives' is awkward; 'do my best in life' is natural.

× I always admire her.

✓ I have always admired her.

If admiration began in the past and continues now, present perfect 'have always admired' is more appropriate. The simple present 'I always admire' can be used but present perfect is better for continuity.

× To be honest, I don't want to be your teachers in the future because I really want to be uh, a nurse and work in hospitals.

✓ To be honest, I don't want to be a teacher in the future because I really want to be a nurse and work in hospitals.

'Your teachers' is wrong in this context; the speaker refers to being a teacher, so use singular 'a teacher'. Keep 'a nurse' singular and consistent.

× That doesn't mean I didn't respect the teachers life.

✓ That doesn't mean I don't respect teachers' lives.

'Doesn't mean' is present, so use present 'don't respect'. Possession for plural 'teachers' lives' needs an apostrophe after teachers. 'Teachers life' is ungrammatical.

× I really respect from bottom of my heart, but I want to be nurse and helps the saves the others person life.

✓ I really respect them from the bottom of my heart, but I want to be a nurse and help save other people's lives.

'Respect from bottom of my heart' needs 'them' and 'the bottom of my heart'. Use article 'a nurse'. After 'want to' use base verb 'help' not 'helps'. 'Save other people's lives' is the correct plural possessive.

× Yes, I have a teacher from my past that I still remember and he is from my high school science teacher.

✓ Yes, I have a teacher from my past whom I still remember; he was my high school science teacher.

Use 'whom' or 'that' correctly: 'a teacher ... whom I still remember'. 'He is from my high school science teacher' is ungrammatical; use 'he was my high school science teacher' (past) if referring to past role.

× He really saved my future.

✓ He really saved my future prospects.

'Saved my future' is vague; 'saved my future prospects' clarifies meaning. The past tense 'saved' is acceptable if referring to a past action.

× He always loved me and gives me the beautiful path path into my life.

✓ He always loved me and gave me a beautiful path in life.

Mixing past 'loved' with present 'gives' is inconsistent; use past 'gave'. Remove the repeated word 'path' and say 'a beautiful path in life'.

× I always respect him.

✓ I have always respected him.

For continuing respect from past to present, present perfect 'have always respected' is more natural than simple present.

× No, I am not in touch with my primary school teacher because of the distance times and uh, I to the different fact I am far from my home, uh, home hometown.

✓ No, I am not in touch with my primary school teachers because of the distance; I am far from my hometown.

Use plural 'teachers' if referring to more than one. 'Distance times' is incorrect; use 'distance'. 'I to the different fact' is ungrammatical; simplify to 'I am far from my hometown'.

× That's why.

✓ That's why I am not in touch with them.

'That's why' is a fragment; connect it to the explanation to make a complete sentence.

× But I always miss them and whenever I did my I beauty.

✓ But I always miss them.

'Whenever I did my I beauty' is nonsensical and should be removed. Keep the clear sentiment 'I always miss them'.

× My favorite teachers help me in a different way.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me in different ways.

If referring to one favorite teacher, use singular 'teacher' and past tense 'helped' if describing past support. 'In different ways' is a natural plural.

× Especially when I was in high school, he really encouraged me to study science.

✓ Especially when I was in high school, he really encouraged me to study science.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It correctly uses past tense 'encouraged'.

× This is my one of the best choice and decisions of my life.

✓ This is one of the best choices and decisions of my life.

Use 'one of the best' + plural noun 'choices' and 'decisions'. Remove 'my' before 'one' and keep plural nouns.

× That's how he helped me.

✓ That's how he helped me.

This sentence is correct and needs no change.