Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix word order, verb forms and avoid repetition. Mention a concrete example of what the teacher did. Keep answer to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes. My favorite teacher is Mrs. Samida, who taught me when I was a child. She encouraged me to study regularly and gave me simple exercises to improve, so I became more attentive and confident. For example, she stayed after class one week to help me practice reading, which reduced my stress.

提案: Make the response more natural and precise. Begin with a direct statement of intention, then give two specific reasons connected by linking words (because, therefore). Use correct noun forms and clearer expressions (e.g., 'teachers shape a nation'). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher in the future because I enjoy helping students learn and grow. Moreover, teachers shape a nation by educating responsible citizens; therefore, I would feel I was contributing to my country. For instance, I could teach science to inspire young people to pursue careers that benefit society.

提案: Use natural phrasing and correct vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence and follow with specific, coherent details using linking words (for example, because, so). Replace unclear words (e.g., 'adorn', 'oath') with appropriate ones like 'remember fondly' and 'was supportive'. Give one concrete example of her help.

例: Yes, I still remember Mrs. Amida fondly because she supported me when I felt anxious as a child. She acted like a mother and encouraged me with small praise and extra help, so I slowly gained confidence. For example, she would give me a short compliment after every homework, which made me try harder.

提案: Correct grammar and use natural expressions. Begin directly, then explain briefly with linking words (but, however). Avoid vague phrases like 'advancement of the society'—say 'busy with work/studies'. Mention a specific way you keep in touch. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Not really. I am quite busy with work and studies, so I rarely speak to them, but I have connected with some on Facebook. This way I can still see updates about their lives without regular meetings.

提案: Be specific and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence describing the main ways the teacher helped, then give two specific effects with linking words (so, therefore). Replace unclear phrases ('see the old in me') with precise ones ('saw potential in me'). Provide one concrete example. Keep to 3–4 sentences.

例: My favorite teacher saw potential in me and encouraged me to complete small tasks regularly, which improved my self-esteem. As a result, I became more hardworking and goal-oriented, so I started studying an extra hour each day. For example, she praised my progress after weekly quizzes, which motivated me to continue improving.

× Certainly one of my certainly one of my teacher name.

✓ One of my teachers' names is Mrs. Samida.

The original is repetitive and missing structure: it repeats 'certainly one of my' and omits plural and possessive forms. Use plural 'teachers' and possessive 'teachers' names' to indicate a specific teacher; the correct structure is 'One of my teachers' names is ...'. Avoid repetition and ensure correct noun form.

× Mrs. Samida is my favorite since childhood because first I was not such a attentive and studious person.

✓ Mrs. Samida has been my favorite since childhood because at first I was not a very attentive or studious person.

The phrase 'is my favorite since childhood' should use present perfect 'has been' to link past to present. 'First' should be 'at first' and 'such a attentive' is incorrect article and adjective order; use 'a very attentive or studious' or 'very attentive and studious'.

× She encouraged me and told me I will do better if I could practice more and more.

✓ She encouraged me and told me I would do better if I practiced more.

Reported speech requires backshifting: 'I will' becomes 'I would'. Also conditional structure: use past simple 'practiced' for a second conditional in reported past. 'More and more' is wordy; 'more' suffices.

× Whenever I feel stress I would go to.

✓ Whenever I felt stressed, I would go to her.

Tense consistency: follow past narrative with 'felt' not 'feel'. Also 'feel stress' should be 'felt stressed'. The verb needs an object: 'go to her' (the teacher). Add comma after time clause.

× If I have a chance, I would love to be a teacher in future because it will help me to encourage students and do something for my country.

✓ If I have the chance, I would love to be a teacher in the future because it would help me encourage students and do something for my country.

Mixing conditional types: 'If I have the chance' (first conditional) should pair with 'I will', or use 'If I had the chance' with 'I would'. Here 'would' is fine but better with 'had' for hypothetical. Also add articles: 'the chance', 'the future'. Use 'would help me encourage' or 'would help me to encourage' — both acceptable; remove extra 'to'.

× I believe teacher has the power to figure the nation and I would love to take the chance to build my nation.

✓ I believe a teacher has the power to shape the nation, and I would love to take the chance to help build my country.

Missing article: 'a teacher'. 'Figure the nation' is incorrect collocation; use 'shape the nation' or 'help shape the nation'. 'Build my nation' is understandable but 'build my country' and 'help build' are more natural.

× Certainly I have a teacher, Mrs. Amida, which I remember and adorn from my core of the heart.

✓ I certainly have a teacher, Mrs. Amida, whom I remember and cherish from the bottom of my heart.

Use 'whom' for a person as object, not 'which'. 'Adorn' is wrong verb; use 'cherish' or 'adore'. 'From my core of the heart' is nonnative; use 'from the bottom of my heart'.

× Whenever I was young, I was so stressed and feel sad.

✓ When I was young, I was often very stressed and felt sad.

Mixing tenses: 'was' and 'feel' should both be past: use 'felt'. 'Whenever' can be 'when' or 'whenever' with 'often' to indicate frequency; add 'very' or 'so' consistently.

× She was motherly and so oath in me and motivated and encouraged me by every small thing.

✓ She was motherly and so devoted to me, motivating and encouraging me in every small thing.

'oath in me' is meaningless; likely 'devoted to me' or 'took an oath to help me' — 'devoted to me' fits. Use '-ing' forms 'motivating and encouraging' to show simultaneous actions. Use 'in' instead of 'by' for 'in every small thing'.

× No, I have barely in touch with them because with the advancement of the society, I am quite busy and I don't have enough time to be in touch with them.

✓ No, I am barely in touch with them because with the advancement of society, I am quite busy and don't have enough time to keep in contact with them.

Wrong verb phrase: 'have barely in touch' should be 'am barely in touch' or 'have little contact'. Article 'the society' is incorrect; use 'society' or 'the advancement of society'. Also streamline repetition 'to be in touch with them' -> 'to keep in contact with them'.

× But I am added with them in Facebook so that I can keep get updated from their day-to-day life.

✓ But I have added them on Facebook so that I can keep up to date with their day-to-day lives.

Use 'added them on Facebook' not 'added with them in Facebook'. 'Keep get updated' is wrong; use 'keep up to date' or 'stay updated'. Use 'with' rather than 'from' and plural 'lives'.

× They see the old in me and gave me motivation for my small work which helped me to build myself esteem and gain more confidence.

✓ They saw the good in me and gave me motivation for my small efforts, which helped me build my self-esteem and gain more confidence.

Tense consistency: past narrative uses 'saw' and 'gave'. 'See the old in me' is incorrect; likely 'saw the good in me'. 'Small work' -> 'small efforts'. 'Build myself esteem' should be 'build my self-esteem'.

× With their cooperation, I became more hardworking and goal oriented.

✓ With their support, I became more hardworking and goal-oriented.

'Cooperation' is awkward; 'support' is more natural. Add hyphen in 'goal-oriented' and keep past tense 'became'.

× They gave me the confidence that.

✓ They gave me the confidence that I could succeed.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks a clause after 'that'. Provide a finishing clause appropriate to context, such as 'I could succeed' or 'I could do well', to complete the idea.