Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify meaning, remove hesitations and irrelevant words, and give a concise specific example of how he motivated you. Limit to max 5 sentences and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes. My favorite teacher was my high school physics teacher because he taught with great enthusiasm. For example, he used real-life demonstrations to explain difficult concepts, which helped me understand and remember the material. As a result, I felt more motivated to study and my grades improved.

提案: Make the response more fluent and concise, avoid repetition, and use linking words to explain whether you want to be a full-time teacher in future. Add a sentence about your intention or plans.

例: In a way I already am a teacher: I work as an assistant instructor for Capoeira at a local academy. I teach a two-hour class each week as part of my routine. In the future, I might consider teaching more often if I can balance it with my other commitments.

提案: Avoid repeating ideas and correct grammar (e.g. 'kept students studying' → 'kept students motivated'). Provide a brief specific memory or example to show why you remember him, using linking words to connect points.

例: Yes, I vividly remember my high school physics teacher because he made lessons exciting and motivated us to learn. For instance, he set weekly challenges that encouraged teamwork and deeper thinking, so many students, including me, stayed engaged.

提案: Remove fillers and tighten the sentence structure. State clearly whether you are in contact and explain why you would like to reconnect with a specific reason, using linking words for coherence.

例: No, I am not currently in contact with my primary school teachers. However, I would like to reconnect because talking to them would help me recall fond memories and learn more about my early school progress.

提案: Be specific about the ways he helped, use correct grammar and avoid vague phrases like 'from many angles.' Give one or two concrete examples and link them to the outcome (e.g., improved grades, study habits).

例: My favorite teacher mainly helped by keeping me motivated and engaged in learning. For example, he gave regular feedback and set small goals each week, which improved my study habits and boosted my exam scores.

× He taught me very enthusiastically.

✓ He taught me very enthusiastically.

No change required. The sentence is grammatically correct and uses the simple past appropriately for a finished action.

× That's why I could, uh, focus on the, uh, cyber check and keep.

✓ That's why I could focus on the coursework and keep studying.

Original sentence is unclear and contains filler words and an incorrect phrase 'cyber check and keep'. The verb phrase 'could focus' is correct, but the object should be a meaningful noun phrase such as 'the coursework'. 'Keep' needs a verb complement like 'studying'. Suggest avoiding fillers and using clear nouns and verb complements.

× He kept me motivated to study more.

✓ He kept me motivated to study more.

No change required. The past tense 'kept' is appropriate when referring to a past teacher who motivated the student.

× I am currently a teacher in one sense.

✓ I am currently a teacher in a sense.

Minor phrasing: 'in one sense' is acceptable colloquially but 'in a sense' is more natural. The present tense 'am' correctly indicates current status.

× I am working as an assistant teacher of Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art at my Academy at in the class.

✓ I am working as an assistant Capoeira teacher at my academy in the class.

Original has redundant and incorrect prepositions 'at in' and awkward word order. Use 'assistant Capoeira teacher' or 'assistant teacher of Capoeira', and 'at my academy' correctly places the location. Avoid duplicating location prepositions.

× I teach capoeira for about two hours a week and that is one of my weekly routine for me.

✓ I teach Capoeira for about two hours a week and that is part of my weekly routine.

Use 'part of my weekly routine' rather than 'one of my weekly routine'. Also capitalize 'Capoeira' as a proper noun. Remove redundant 'for me'. 'Part of' correctly quantifies the activity within a routine.

× Yes, I still have a teacher whom I remember even now.

✓ Yes, I still have a teacher whom I remember even now.

No grammatical change required. 'Whom' is acceptable though 'who' is more common in spoken English; both are grammatically correct. Sentence structure is fine.

× He is a teacher from my high school and taught me physics.

✓ He was a teacher at my high school and taught me physics.

If referring to a past teacher, use 'was' to indicate past position. 'At my high school' is the correct prepositional phrase. Keep 'taught' in simple past to match the time frame.

× He is not only enthusiastic about teaching but also good at motivating the people and kept the people students studying.

✓ He was not only enthusiastic about teaching but also good at motivating students and kept them studying.

Maintain past tense 'was' and 'kept' for consistency. Remove redundant 'the people' and use 'students' and pronoun 'them' for clarity. Order: 'good at motivating students' is natural. Ensure verb tenses agree.

× Unfortunately, I do not have contact with the teachers from my primary schools, but in I would like to have contact with them because that enables me to, umm, recall the good old days memories, that's why.

✓ Unfortunately, I do not have contact with my primary school teachers, but I would like to get in touch with them because it would help me recall fond memories of the good old days.

Simplify phrase 'teachers from my primary schools' to 'my primary school teachers'. Remove extraneous 'in' and fillers. Use 'get in touch' or 'have contact' correctly. 'Recall the good old days memories' is awkward; use 'recall fond memories of the good old days'. Maintain tense consistency and remove 'that's why' which is redundant.

× My favorite teacher helped me from many angles, but predominantly he contributed to me in terms of motivating me and kept me engaged in keeping studying.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me in many ways, but mainly he motivated me and kept me engaged in studying.

'From many angles' is awkward; use 'in many ways'. 'Contributed to me in terms of motivating me' is wordy; simplify to 'he motivated me'. 'Kept me engaged in keeping studying' is ungrammatical — use 'kept me engaged in studying'. Ensure concise, natural phrasing and consistent past tense.