Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy and clarity: correct grammar mistakes, avoid redundancy, and keep sentences concise (max 5). Use a clear topic sentence then one or two supporting details with linking words. For example, fix verb forms (put → put things back), remove repetitive phrases, and connect ideas with a linking word like 'so' or 'therefore'.

例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy because it helps me relax and clear my mind. For example, I always put things back in their place after using them, so my room stays comfortable and clutter-free.

提案: Improve tense consistency and sentence structure: use past tense for past habits, combine sentences with linking words, and provide a brief specific detail. Avoid repeating 'study' words.

例: Not really. When I was a child my main responsibility was studying, so my parents usually tidied my room while I focused on homework.

提案: Clarify vocabulary and correct word choice: use appropriate nouns (areas/items) and verbs (sort, store). Keep sentences concise and use linking words to explain the benefit. Provide a concrete example of categories and storage solutions.

例: I sort my study items into categories, such as books, stationery and electronics, and store them in labelled shelves or boxes, so I can find things quickly.

提案: Major issues: avoid inappropriate or unclear words (sexist, mizzy) and finish your idea clearly. State your opinion in one sentence, then support it with a clear example and a linking word. Use neutral, appropriate vocabulary (e.g., 'creative people' or 'some people').

例: I think it depends on the person. Some people are more creative in a messy environment; for example, I know a talented writer whose desk is cluttered but who still produces excellent work.

× I always put things bike to their place after using them, it makes my room comfortable and calm down.

✓ I always put things back in their place after using them; it makes my room comfortable and helps me calm down.

Errors: 'bike' is a typo for 'back' and word order for the prepositional phrase is wrong; 'to their place' is non-idiomatic — use 'back in their place'; sentence run-on uses a comma splice — separate clauses with a semicolon or conjunction; 'calm down' needs a subject verb ('helps me calm down'). Suggestion: replace 'bike' with 'back', use 'back in their place', fix punctuation, and add 'helps me' before 'calm down'.

× Not really because when I was a child, my main responsibility is to study. So my parents helped me to take care of the room and I just focus on studying instead

✓ Not really, because when I was a child my main responsibility was to study. So my parents helped me take care of the room and I just focused on studying instead.

Errors: tense inconsistency — speaker uses past context 'when I was a child' but then uses present 'is' and 'focus'. Use past tense 'was' and 'focused' to match. Also unnecessary 'to' in 'helped me to take care' — both 'helped me take care' and 'helped me to take care' are possible but 'helped me take care' is more natural. Suggestion: change 'is' to 'was' and 'focus' to 'focused' for past narration.

× I always divide the scenes to different categories and put them in different places with the designated sports and it can help me to get them easily.

✓ I always divide my things into different categories and put them in designated places, and this helps me find them easily.

Errors: 'divide the scenes to different categories' is incorrect collocation — use 'divide X into categories'; 'scenes' and 'sports' are incorrect word choices for context — should be 'things' and 'places'; 'designated sports' is wrong; 'get them easily' is awkward — use 'find them easily'; punctuation/run-on fixed with conjunction. Suggestion: replace with natural collocations 'divide into categories', 'designated places', and 'find them'.

× It's not necessary for everyone to be tidy because some sexist people are quite disordered, yet still produce great work.

✓ It's not necessary for everyone to be tidy because some people are quite untidy yet still produce great work.

Errors: 'sexist' is incorrect word choice and changes meaning — likely intended 'some people'; 'disordered' is awkward for personal tidiness — use 'untidy' or 'messy'; punctuation around 'yet' adjusted. Suggestion: use 'some people' and 'untidy' or 'messy' to convey the intended idea.

× For example, I know a talent writer whose desk is mizzy, but no, but who meets everyone, but who

✓ For example, I know a talented writer whose desk is messy, but he still meets deadlines and produces excellent work.

Errors: 'talent writer' should be 'talented writer' (adjective form); 'mizzy' is a misspelling for 'messy'; sentence is a fragment with repeated filler words ('but no, but who meets everyone, but who') and unclear meaning — I inferred intended meaning about meeting deadlines or producing work. Suggestion: use 'talented' and 'messy', eliminate fillers, complete the sentence with a clear clause such as 'he still meets deadlines and produces excellent work'.