Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh lặp từ và tiếng ngập ngừng (umm), sửa ngữ pháp (too many time → too much time), làm câu tự nhiên hơn bằng cách mở đầu trực tiếp rồi nêu lý do ngắn gọn. Thêm một câu chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: dọn bàn trước khi học) để làm câu đầy đủ và mạch lạc.

例: I like to keep my study area tidy. Because I'm a high school student, I don't always have time to clean the whole house, but I usually clear my desk before I start studying so I can focus better.

提案: Cải thiện: Câu trả lời lẫn thời điểm (child vs now) bị nhầm và nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp/ vốn từ (e.g., “A tidy person”, “tidy my task”, “close to free” không rõ nghĩa). Nên trả lời rõ ràng về quá khứ (as a child) với một câu chủ đề, sau đó giải thích ngắn gọn và đưa ví dụ cụ thể. Tránh dùng cấu trúc mơ hồ, sửa thành ngôn ngữ đơn giản và chính xác.

例: When I was a child I usually kept my room tidy. For example, I always put my toys back in boxes and made my bed every morning, although I didn’t clean the whole house.

提案: Cải thiện: Câu trả lời rõ ràng và có chi tiết, nhưng có vài lỗi nhỏ về từ vựng/ngữ pháp (“using photos to organize documents” có vẻ lạ, “small box” → “small boxes”, “surface stay” → “surface stays”). Nên dùng liên từ để liên kết mạch lạc hơn và chỉnh lại cụm từ không tự nhiên.

例: I keep my desk tidy by putting papers and books away at the end of each day, and I use folders or labels to organize documents so I can find them easily. I also clean the desk once a week and use small boxes to store cables and stationery so the surface stays clear.

提案: Cải thiện: Ý chính tốt nhưng có một số lỗi ngữ pháp và lựa chọn từ không đúng (“being things” → “being tidy”, “reduce” → “reduces”, “wait for a long period” không rõ nghĩa). Nên sửa câu chủ đề và thêm liên từ để mạch lạc; đưa ví dụ cụ thể về kết quả để thuyết phục hơn.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary because it helps me stay productive and focused. For example, when my desk is tidy I can find my notes quickly and concentrate better, and a neat environment also reduces stress, so I can work for longer without feeling overwhelmed.

× To be honest, I sometimes clean my table because I don't have too many time as a high school student.

✓ To be honest, I sometimes clean my table because I don't have much time as a high school student.

Use 'much' with uncountable nouns like 'time'. 'Too many' is followed by plural countable nouns (e.g. 'too many hours'). Replace 'too many time' with 'much time' or 'too much time'. Suggestion: Use 'much' for uncountable nouns and 'many' for plural countable nouns.

× I rarely umm, clean the house.

✓ I rarely clean the house.

The filler 'umm' interrupts sentence flow and is unnecessary in written form. Remove filler words for clarity. Suggestion: Omit hesitation sounds when writing or speaking more fluently.

× But umm, I'm a tidy person and I want everything is cleaned and tidy.

✓ But I'm a tidy person and I want everything to be clean and tidy.

After verbs like 'want', we use the infinitive 'to be' not the clause 'is'. Also use the adjective 'clean' instead of the past participle 'cleaned' when describing state. Suggestion: Use 'want everything to be + adjective'.

× To be honest, I generally A tidy person but I don't have much time to clean because I am a high school student.

✓ To be honest, I am generally a tidy person but I don't have much time to clean because I am a high school student.

Missing verb 'am' after subject; 'A' is incorrect capitalization and position. Pronoun/verb structure requires 'I am generally a tidy person'. Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb pair is complete: 'I am'.

× I usually just tidy my task, although I wish the whole house could be clean and close to free.

✓ I usually just tidy my desk, although I wish the whole house could be clean and nearly free of clutter.

The noun 'task' is unlikely in this context; 'desk' fits study context. 'Could be clean' is acceptable but 'close to free' is ungrammatical; use 'nearly free of clutter' to express minimal mess. Suggestion: Choose accurate nouns and idiomatic phrases like 'nearly free of clutter'.

× I keep my desk tidy by putting away papers and books at the end of each day and using photos to organize documents which make it easier to find things.

✓ I keep my desk tidy by putting away papers and books at the end of each day and using folders to organize documents, which makes it easier to find things.

'Using photos to organize documents' is illogical; likely 'folders'. Also relative clause needs subject-verb agreement: 'which makes' (singular) because it refers to the action as a whole. Suggestion: Use appropriate prepositional objects and ensure clause agreement.

× I also clean it once a week and use small box to store cables and stationery so the surface stay clear.

✓ I also clean it once a week and use a small box to store cables and stationery so the surface stays clear.

Countable noun 'box' needs an article 'a'. Subject-verb agreement: 'surface' is singular so the verb should be 'stays'. Suggestion: Add articles for singular countable nouns and match verb to subject number.

× Absolutely yes, I think being things makes me more productive and focused.

✓ Absolutely yes, I think being tidy makes me more productive and focused.

'Being things' is ungrammatical; likely meant 'being tidy' or 'keeping things tidy'. Use correct adjective 'tidy' or phrase 'keeping things tidy'. Suggestion: Use appropriate adjective to describe state.

× For example when my desk is tidy and I put papers away, I feel more energetic and can concentrate better on my work and study.

✓ For example, when my desk is tidy and I put papers away, I feel more energetic and can concentrate better on my work and studies.

Parallel noun form: 'work and study' sounds unnatural; 'work and studies' or 'work and studying' is better. Also add a comma after introductory phrase. Suggestion: Use parallel nouns and punctuation for clarity.

× Also a tidy environment reduce stress so I can wait for a long period.

✓ Also, a tidy environment reduces stress so I can work for longer periods.

Subject-verb agreement: 'environment' is singular so verb must be 'reduces'. 'Wait for a long period' is odd in context; likely intended 'work for longer periods'. Suggestion: Match verb to subject and choose verbs that fit meaning.