Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변은 자연스럽고 이해하기 쉬우나 몇 가지 개선점이 있습니다. 첫째, 주제문은 명확하지만 문장이 다소 길고 중복되는 표현(‘tidy’, ‘clean and organize’)이 반복되어 다이내믹함이 떨어집니다. 둘째, 연결어 사용을 조금 더 다양하게 하여 문장 간 흐름을 명확히 하면 좋습니다(예: 'however' 대신 'but'이나 'so'를 적절히 배치). 셋째, 구체적인 예시(어떤 물건을 정리하는지, 얼마나 자주 청소하는지)를 추가하면 점수가 올라갑니다. 연습 팁: 답변을 2~3문장으로 간결하게 유지하고, 하나의 구체적 예시와 한 개의 연결어를 사용해 보세요.

例: Yes, I like to keep my room and desk tidy. For example, I put books on the shelf and stationery in a drawer right after I use them, so my workspace doesn’t get cluttered. As a result, I can focus better when I study.

提案: 답변은 개인적인 경험을 잘 언급했으나 몇 가지 문제점이 있습니다. 먼저 반복되는 단어('I think' 두 번, 'if if')와 문법 실수가 있어 자연스러움이 떨어집니다. 둘째, 문장 구조가 다소 어수선하니 주제문 후에 구체적 세부사항(포켓머니 금액, 기간 등)을 덧붙이면 좋습니다. 마지막으로 과거 습관을 말할 때는 과거 시제와 표현을 정확히 사용하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: Yes, I did. I started tidying my room when I was in kindergarten because my mother gave me a small allowance whenever I cleaned. That reward made me enjoy keeping my room neat.

提案: 답변에 문법 오류와 발화 중 중복(‘I I’)이 있어 흐름이 끊깁니다. 대명사 일치와 시제 사용에 주의하세요('space' 단수이면 'it' 사용). 또한 구체적인 방법(예: 정리하는 물건, 정리 빈도, 사용한 보관 도구)을 하나 추가하면 답변이 더 구체적이고 설득력 있어집니다. 연습 팁: 주제문 → 구체적 방법 → 결과 순으로 2문장 안에 말해 보세요.

例: I clean and organize my desk regularly. After I finish studying, I always put my books back on the shelf and store pens in a pen holder, so my workspace stays organized.

提案: 의도는 분명하지만 문법과 어휘 선택에서 오류가 있습니다('being necessary'는 부자연스럽고 'while I studying'에서 동명사 앞에 조동사 없이 어색함). 또한 연결어와 이유 제시를 더 명확히 하면 좋습니다. 제안하는 구조는 주제문(의견) → 이유(구체적 예) → 결과로 간결하게 말하기입니다.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is important because a clear desk helps me focus. For instance, when my workspace is organized I finish tasks faster and feel less stressed.

× Well I can remember exactly, but I think I started cleaning my room when I was in kindergarten.

✓ Well I can't remember exactly, but I think I started cleaning my room when I was in kindergarten.

The student used 'can' but meant inability to recall a precise memory, so the past-tense context requires 'could' or the present modal 'can't' to indicate inability now. Best is 'I can't remember exactly' to express current lack of precise recollection. Suggestion: Use 'I can't remember exactly' or 'I couldn't remember exactly' depending on whether you refer to current inability or past inability.

× My mom used to give me some pocket money if if I cleaned my rooms, so I was always happy to do it.

✓ My mom used to give me some pocket money if I cleaned my room, so I was always happy to do it.

The phrase 'my rooms' is incorrect because the student is referring to a single room. Use singular 'room' to match 'my'. Also there is a duplicated 'if'. Suggestion: Use singular nouns for one room and remove duplicate words: 'if I cleaned my room'.

× Well, I try to clean and organize them regularly. It after I use them I I usually put it back in their own place.

✓ Well, I try to clean and organize them regularly. After I use them I usually put them back in their proper places.

Multiple issues: misplaced word order 'It after', duplicated 'I', incorrect pronoun agreement 'it' with plural antecedent 'them', and 'their own place' is awkward; 'their proper places' is clearer. Suggestion: Keep logical word order (start with 'After I use them'), ensure pronouns agree in number ('them' and 'places'), and remove duplicate words.

× Sure, I think being necessary is very important because I can concentrate more when I'm in a tidy space while I studying or working.

✓ Sure, I think being tidy is very important because I can concentrate more when I'm in a tidy space while I'm studying or working.

'Being necessary' is incorrect meaning; likely intended 'being tidy'. Also 'while I studying' misses auxiliary verb 'am' for present continuous: use 'while I'm studying'. Suggestion: Use the correct adjective 'tidy' and include auxiliary 'am' for present continuous: 'while I'm studying'.