Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy, grammar and clarity. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use correct verb tenses and prepositions. Keep to 2–4 sentences, and give one or two specific examples of what you tidy. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy. Since I became an adult, I try to keep my desk, bedside table and bookshelf organised because a neat space helps me concentrate. For example, I always put papers in folders and return books to the shelf after reading.

提案: Fix past-tense forms and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give a specific reason or brief example. Avoid awkward phrases and repetition. Use linking words like 'however' or 'because' to show contrast and reason.

例: No, I wasn't tidy as a child. My room was usually messy because my parents focused more on my schoolwork than on making me tidy up. For instance, toys and clothes were often left on the floor for days.

提案: Use clearer verbs and more precise nouns. Start with a topic sentence describing your routine, then give concrete steps and link them with words like 'for example' or 'so'. Correct word choice: 'put away', 'store', 'pencil case', 'organised'. Limit to 2–4 concise sentences.

例: I keep my study space organised by putting things away after use. For example, I store books on the bookshelf, put pens and pins in a pencil case, and file loose papers in folders so my desk stays clear.

提案: Tone down exaggerated claims and make reasoning concise and logical. Start with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons or a brief example. Use appropriate collocations: 'important to be tidy', 'a valuable quality'. Avoid absolute statements and repetition.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is important because it improves productivity and creates a good impression. For example, a tidy appearance and workspace make it easier to find things quickly and show that you are responsible.

× Yes, I'd always like to keep things tidy.

✓ Yes, I always like to keep things tidy.

The original uses 'I'd' (I would/I had) incorrectly with 'always' to express a habitual present preference; use simple present 'I always like' for habitual actions.

× Ever since I turned an adult, I always try to keep my desks my tables.

✓ Ever since I became an adult, I have always tried to keep my desk and table tidy.

Use 'became an adult' or 'turned adult' corrected to 'became an adult'; habitual action from past to present uses present perfect 'have always tried'. Also 'desks my tables' is incorrect; singular 'desk and table' fits context.

× My bookshelves, I thrust my bed and my cupboard an older.

✓ I organize my bookshelves, arrange my bed, and tidy my cupboard regularly.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Thrust' is wrong verb; use 'organize', 'arrange', 'tidy'. Maintain parallel structure with verbs and add adverb 'regularly' to indicate habit.

× No, it was exactly the opposite. I never keep things tidy as a child.

✓ No, it was exactly the opposite. I never kept things tidy as a child.

Reference is to past habit, so use past tense 'kept' not present 'keep'.

× During my childhood my rooms was always very messy.

✓ During my childhood my rooms were always very messy.

Plural 'rooms' requires plural verb 'were' not singular 'was'.

× Because my parents are not keen to push me into tiredness, they just want me to to keep up with academic performance instead.

✓ Because my parents were not keen to push me into tiredness, they just wanted me to focus on academic performance instead.

Context refers to past childhood, so verbs should be past 'were' and 'wanted'. Also 'to to' is duplicated; 'focus on academic performance' is idiomatic. 'Push me into tiredness' is awkward; kept as 'push me' omitted 'into tiredness'.

× I always try to keep my work and study space tidy back put everything into order.

✓ I always try to keep my work and study space tidy by putting everything in order.

To express method use 'by' + gerund 'putting'. Original 'back put' is incorrect word order; use 'putting everything in order'.

× For example, I never scatter books and pins around.

✓ For example, I never scatter books and pens around.

Word choice: 'pins' should be 'pens' for stationery; preposition 'around' is acceptable. Correcting vocabulary improves accuracy.

× I put my books on the bookshelves and pinned into the pencil cases and I try to keep them spotted as well.

✓ I put my books on the bookshelves and pencils in the pencil case, and I try to keep them sorted as well.

Use 'pencils in the pencil case' not 'pinned into'; 'sorted' is appropriate for organized items rather than 'spotted'. Maintain singular/plural consistency.

× Yes, I think that it is extremely important to to be tidy.

✓ Yes, I think that it is extremely important to be tidy.

Remove duplicated 'to'. The phrase 'important to be tidy' is correct; duplication is a typographical/grammatical error.

× Being tidy is the necessity and it's just one of the greatest quality that a human being can have.

✓ Being tidy is a necessity and it's one of the greatest qualities a person can have.

Use 'a necessity' (article), 'qualities' plural to match 'one of the', and 'a person' is more natural than 'a human being'.

× People won't be impressed if you drive a luxurious car, but they'll be impressed if you keep yourself neat and tidy.

✓ People won't be impressed if you drive a luxury car, but they'll be impressed if you keep yourself neat and tidy.

Use 'luxury car' (compound noun) rather than 'luxurious car'. The sentence tense and modal usage are fine; this corrects adjective choice.