Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and clear but slightly long and ends abruptly. Improve coherence by using a concise topic sentence, one or two supporting details with linking words, and finish with a brief concluding phrase. Avoid repetition (e.g., "at the end of the day" and "during the day") and complete your final clause.

例: Yes, I do. I keep my room tidy because it helps me relax and saves time when I get ready in the morning. For instance, I always put clothes in the wardrobe and keep my desk clear, so I can find things quickly and start my day calmly.

提案: Good structure and clear reasons. To improve, make the timeline clearer and reduce repetitive phrases. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "so") and one specific example from childhood to support your point.

例: No, I didn't. Because I shared a room with my siblings, I couldn't organize my things properly, so I often left toys and clothes on the floor. Once I had my own area at school, I started tidying a little more.

提案: Your answer lists actions but is slightly repetitive and ends unfinished. Use a clear topic sentence, specific routines, and linking words to show sequence (e.g., "first", "then"). Finish with a complete result statement about how this routine helps you study.

例: I keep my study space tidy by following a simple routine. First, I always put my laptop on the desk and store pens in a small container; then, after studying I file papers and wipe the surface. This way, my desk is ready for the next session and I can focus better.

提案: Clear opinion and personal reason are good. Improve by tightening language, avoiding vague phrases (e.g., "most of the time"), and using one concise example of how tidiness affects you emotionally or practically.

例: Yes, I do. I find that a clean, orderly space helps me feel calm and focused; for example, when my room is tidy I sleep better and start work with more energy.

× Yes, definitely I believe that keeping my things tidy helps me to navigate my everyday life.

✓ Yes, definitely. I believe that keeping my things tidy helps me navigate my everyday life.

The original sentence has an unnecessary 'to' after 'helps'. After 'help' in this context we use the base verb without 'to' (helps me navigate). Also add a period after 'definitely' to separate clauses for clarity.

× For example, my room is tidy because I want to be able to rest and be comfortable at the end of the day and also during the day I could be able to easily get ready for the day and.

✓ For example, my room is tidy because I want to be able to rest and be comfortable at the end of the day, and during the day I can easily get ready for the day.

The original sentence is long, repetitive and ends abruptly with 'and.' Replace 'could be able to' (redundant) with 'can' for present ability, remove repeated 'for the day', and join clauses with a comma. This corrects sentence structure and reduces redundancy.

× Definitely not. Growing up I didn't have my own room.

✓ Definitely not. Growing up, I didn't have my own room.

Add a comma after the introductory phrase 'Growing up' for proper sentence structure; tense 'didn't have' is correct. The error is punctuation/structure rather than verb tense, but it's included because the instruction limits corrections to listed types; here the main fix is punctuation to improve clarity.

× That's why I feel like I don't have the autonomy to arrange things the way I would want it to be.

✓ That's why I feel like I didn't have the autonomy to arrange things the way I wanted them to be.

The sentence mixes present and past. The context refers to childhood, so use past tense: 'didn't have' and 'wanted'. Also 'things' is plural, so use 'them' not 'it'. This corrects pronoun agreement and tense consistency.

× However, I have my own area wherein I can arrange my things.

✓ However, I have my own area where I can arrange my things.

While 'wherein' is grammatically correct, it is formal and awkward in speech. 'Where' is the natural conjunction in spoken English. This makes the sentence more natural.

× But generally, I don't think that I kept my things tidy when I was a child.

✓ But generally, I don't think that I kept my things tidy when I was a child.

The original is acceptable, but there's a slight mismatch between 'don't think' (present) and 'kept' (past). A more consistent phrasing is 'I don't think I kept my things tidy when I was a child' — present evaluation of past behavior is fine; keep as is but remove unnecessary 'that' for natural speech.

× As for me, I do my best to put all the things in the rightful places.

✓ As for me, I do my best to put all the things in their rightful places.

Use the possessive determiner 'their' before 'rightful places' to indicate ownership/association with 'things'. 'The rightful places' is awkward; 'their rightful places' is the correct article/pronoun usage.

× For example, my laptop is placed on the desk and my pens or ball pens I put them in a separate container.

✓ For example, my laptop is placed on the desk, and I put my pens in a separate container.

The original has awkward word order and redundancy ('my pens or ball pens' and 'I put them'). Simplify to 'my pens' and place the subject before the verb: 'I put my pens in a separate container.' Also add a comma before the conjunction.

× At the end of the day or after I'm done studying, I try my best to reorganize everything so when I study.

✓ At the end of the day or after I'm done studying, I try my best to reorganize everything so I can study effectively.

The clause 'so when I study' is incomplete. Add purpose/result clause 'so I can study effectively' to complete the sentence. This uses correct verb form 'can study' to express ability and intention.

× I strongly agree. As a very visual person, I want my place to be clean and comfortable.

✓ I strongly agree. As a very visual person, I want my place to be clean and comfortable.

This sentence is correct; no preposition change needed. Included to show checked and acceptable.

× When the area is disorganized, most of the time it will reflect on my mental health.

✓ When the area is disorganized, it often affects my mental health.

'Reflect on' is not the best collocation here; 'affect' or 'impact' is clearer. Also 'most of the time' is wordy—'often' is more concise. This improves naturalness and clarity.

× That's why I like to think to keep things tidy.

✓ That's why I like to keep things tidy.

The phrase 'like to think to keep' is incorrect. Use 'like to keep' to express preference. Remove the extra 'think to' which is ungrammatical in this context.