Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify your main idea with a correct topic sentence, fix grammar (verb forms, articles, pronouns), avoid unclear words ('Missy Rome'), and give one or two short specific reasons using linking words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I do like to keep things tidy because a clean room helps me feel refreshed and relaxed. For example, when my bed and floor are neat I can concentrate better, so I am more motivated to study.

提案: Start with a clear past-tense topic sentence, use correct past forms and simple linking words, and give one brief specific example. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like 'tidy up my look'.

例: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy when I was a child. My mother often praised me for putting toys away and making the bed, which made me proud and encouraged me to keep cleaning regularly.

提案: Answer directly with present simple and describe one or two specific habits using linking words. Correct repetition and prepositions, and avoid contradicting phrases (saying you keep tidy then admitting you don't).

例: I usually keep my study space tidy by putting books back on the shelf and clearing papers into a folder after each session. However, when I have a long study day I sometimes leave one textbook on the desk and tidy up later.

提案: Give a clear opinion sentence, avoid hesitations and fix grammar (conditionals, pronouns). Support your opinion with a concise, specific reason and a result using linking words (because, so).

例: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary because a messy desk distracts me and reduces my motivation. Therefore, when my workspace is clean I can focus better and get more done.

× Yes, because I hate Missy Rome and because I cannot become feel refreshed and comfortable when I lying in my bed and also I couldn't have motivated for studying.

✓ Yes, because I hate messy rooms and I cannot feel refreshed and comfortable when I am lying in my bed, and I cannot get motivated to study.

Pronoun and noun errors: 'Missy Rome' seems to be a misspelling of 'messy rooms' (noun misuse). 'become feel' is incorrect verb combination; use 'feel'. Missing auxiliary 'am' before 'lying' (present continuous). 'couldn't have motivated for studying' is incorrect; use 'cannot get motivated to study' to match present meaning. Suggestion: use correct nouns, include required auxiliary verbs, and use 'get motivated to + verb' for motivation.

× Yes I always keep my room tidy, tidy up my room When I was a child so also my mother always complained ah compliment me and I was so happy so I always tidy up my look.

✓ Yes, I always kept my room tidy and tidied up my room when I was a child. My mother often praised me, and I was very happy, so I always kept it tidy.

Tense inconsistency: 'always keep' should be past 'kept' because the phrase 'when I was a child' sets past time. 'tidy up' should be past 'tidied up'. 'complained ah compliment me' mixes meanings; likely intended 'praised' or 'complimented' (positive). 'tidy up my look' is incorrect collocation; use 'kept it tidy' referring to the room. Suggestion: maintain past tense for childhood descriptions and use appropriate verbs for praise and collocations.

× I need to study for long time so I don't have enough time to tidy up my on my desk.

✓ I need to study for a long time, so I don't have enough time to tidy up my desk.

Article and extra word errors: add 'a' before 'long time'. Remove redundant 'my' before 'on my desk' and incorrect preposition 'on'. Use 'tidy up my desk' or 'tidy my desk'. Suggestion: use articles with time expressions and avoid redundant possessives.

× So I just put put a textbook on my desk so I have to tidy up my room later.

✓ So I just put a textbook on my desk, so I will have to tidy up my room later.

Tense and repetition: duplicate word 'put put' removed. The second clause refers to a future action, so 'will have to' is appropriate. Comma improves readability. Suggestion: remove repeated words and use correct future construction for later actions.

× I need to study for long time so I don't have enough time to tidy up my on my desk. So I just put put a textbook on my desk so I have to tidy up my room later.

✓ I need to study for a long time, so I don't have enough time to tidy up my desk. So I just put a textbook on my desk and will tidy up my room later.

Redundancy and pronoun reference: removed duplicated 'put' and redundant 'my on my desk'. Combined sentences for clarity and used 'will tidy up' for future intent. Suggestion: avoid repeated words and keep pronoun/possessive usage simple.

× I think so because if my dad on my desk, well, is, uh, messy, I don't I can't have motivated for studying and also clean up my on my desk is makes me.

✓ I think so because if my desk is messy, I can't get motivated to study, and cleaning up my desk helps me.

Word order and pronoun errors: 'if my dad on my desk' is nonsensical—likely meant 'if my desk'. Remove filler 'well, is, uh,' and fix modal construction 'I can't get motivated to study'. 'clean up my on my desk is makes me' is ungrammatical; change to 'cleaning up my desk helps me.' Suggestion: keep subject close to verb, avoid fillers, and use gerund 'cleaning' as subject when describing actions that help.