Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and sentence variety; avoid redundancy and keep within 3–4 well-structured sentences. Use correct plural/singular forms and articles, and a linking phrase to list activities succinctly.

例: Yes, I do. I usually clean my whole home every weekend; for example, I sweep and mop the floors, wipe kitchen surfaces and cupboards, and fold laundry. Doing this helps me relax and keeps the house comfortable.

提案: Focus on clear timeline and grammar (use past tense consistently). Remove unclear fragments and add a specific example of what you did as a child. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I did. When I was about nine or ten, I learned to organize my toys and put my books on the shelf, which made it easier for my mother to find things. Because of that habit, I still tidy my room regularly.

提案: Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'a minimalist' not 'minor list person') and grammar; make sentences complete and concise. Use one topic sentence followed by 1–2 specific supporting details and a linking word to describe routine.

例: I’m a minimalist when it comes to my desk. I only keep my laptop, a notebook and a pen, and every evening after work I clear any clutter and wipe the surface so it’s ready for the next day.

提案: Improve sentence flow and clarity; avoid awkward phrasing. Use linking words to explain reasons and give a concrete example of benefits of tidiness.

例: Yes, I believe being tidy is important because it keeps things clean and ordered, which helps me feel relaxed and focused. For example, when my desk is organized I can find documents quickly and finish tasks faster.

× Every weekends I usually clean my whole home.

✓ Every weekend I usually clean my whole home.

The plural form 'weekends' is incorrect with 'every'; use the singular 'weekend' after 'every'. Also word order is fine. Suggestion: use 'every weekend' or 'on weekends'.

× I sweep and mop the floors and wipe up the surface of kitchen and cupboards and fold the clothes.

✓ I sweep and mop the floors, wipe the surfaces of the kitchen and cupboards, and fold the clothes.

The phrase 'surface of kitchen' is ungrammatical; 'surfaces' plural fits with 'floors' and 'cupboards'. Commas and conjunction 'and' improve parallel structure. Use 'the kitchen' with definite article. Suggestion: keep parallel verb forms and correct nouns.

× I remember when now about 9 or 10 years old I know how to organize the things and clean the room and can help many things.

✓ I remember when I was about 9 or 10 years old: I learned how to organize my things, clean my room, and help with many tasks.

The original mixes tenses and uses incorrect forms. 'I remember when' requires past tense 'I was'. 'I know' should be past 'I learned' or 'I knew'. 'The things' and 'the room' are better as 'my things' and 'my room'. 'Can help many things' is incorrect; use 'help with many tasks'. Suggestion: keep past tense consistently and use possessive pronouns.

× Her mother to many things.

✓ Her mother did many things.

The fragment lacks a main verb and uses incorrect structure. Adding past tense verb 'did' completes the sentence. Also context may need 'helped with many things' depending on intended meaning. Suggestion: write full clause with subject and verb.

× I am a minor list person.

✓ I am a minimalist person.

'Minor list' is a misspelling/mishearing of 'minimalist'. Use the adjective 'minimalist' to describe a person who keeps few items. Suggestion: learn correct vocabulary.

× I do not too many things in my work desk.

✓ I do not keep too many things on my desk.

The sentence lacks the main verb and uses incorrect preposition. Use 'keep' as the verb, and 'on' for location 'desk'. Also 'too many things' needs to follow the verb. Suggestion: use subject + verb + object order and correct preposition.

× I only keep my laptop, a notebook and a pen.

✓ I only keep my laptop, a notebook, and a pen.

This sentence only needed a comma added for clarity (Oxford comma optional). No verb form error otherwise. Suggestion: include commas for readability.

× And every day after work I will clean up the desks and.

✓ Every day after work I clean up the desk.

'Will' is unnecessary for habitual action; present simple 'clean' fits better. 'Desks' is inconsistent with 'my work desk' earlier, and the trailing 'and' makes it an incomplete sentence. Suggestion: use present simple for routines and complete the clause.

× Yes, I think it is necessary to be tidy to keep everything clean and ordered.

✓ Yes, I think it is necessary to be tidy to keep everything clean and organized.

'Ordered' is grammatically acceptable but 'organized' is more natural collocation with 'tidy'. Tense is fine. Suggestion: prefer natural collocations like 'clean and organized'.

× It can make me feel relaxed and focused, including a home and workplace.

✓ It makes me feel relaxed and focused, whether at home or at work.

Use present simple 'makes' for general truth. 'Including a home and workplace' is awkward; use 'whether at home or at work' to express the idea clearly. Suggestion: use correct prepositional phrases for locations.

× I always put everything in where it is, it can make me find it easily.

✓ I always put everything in its place so I can find it easily.

'Put everything in where it is' is ungrammatical. Use the idiom 'put everything in its place'. Use 'so I can' rather than comma splice 'it can make me'. Also change word order to natural English. Suggestion: use set phrases and avoid comma splices.