Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Antwort klarer und strukturierter formulieren: Beginnen Sie mit einem direkten Thema-Satz, geben Sie ein oder zwei unterstützende Details und schließen Sie mit einer kurzen Schlussbemerkung. Vermeiden Sie Wiederholungen (z. B. "tidy" und "messy" zu oft) und unvollständige Sätze. Nutzen Sie Verbindungswörter wie "however" oder "but" präzise, um den Kontrast zu zeigen.

例: I like most of my things to be tidy, but I wouldn't call myself a very tidy person. For example, my room surfaces are usually clean, yet my desk becomes cluttered when I study. However, I can still find what I need quickly, so the mess doesn't bother me much.

提案: Klarheit und Relevanz verbessern: Antworte direkt auf die Frage mit einem Thema-Satz über das Aufräumverhalten als Kind. Vermeide irrelevante oder verwirrende Ausdrücke (z. B. "good nose at school") und unvollständige Sätze. Ergänze spezifische Details (z. B. Alter, Beispiele von Unordnung) und benutze Verbindungswörter wie "although" oder "however".

例: As a child I behaved well and kept my clothes neat, but I often kept my room messy. For instance, toys and books were usually all over the floor, even though I was tidy in other aspects like my clothes.

提案: Struktur und Präzision: Beginnen Sie mit einer klaren Aussage, wie Sie Ihren Arbeitsplatz organisieren (oder nicht). Geben Sie konkrete Strategien oder Beispiele (z. B. "I use boxes" oder "I sort papers by subject") und nutzen Sie verbindende Wörter wie "for example" oder "however". Vermeiden Sie vage oder widersprüchliche Phrasen.

例: My desk often looks messy, but I keep functional order by grouping items by purpose. For example, I keep pens in a cup, notes in separate folders, and only leave current books on the desk; this way I can still find things quickly even if it appears cluttered.

提案: Logische Argumentation stärken: Formulieren Sie zunächst Ihre Meinung klar (z. B. "I don't think it's necessary to be tidy") und untermauern Sie sie mit 1–2 konkreten Gründen oder Beispielen. Verwenden Sie Verbindungswörter wie "because", "however" oder "for example" und vermeiden Sie Tippfehler oder unklare Ausdrücke.

例: I don't think it is always necessary to be perfectly tidy, because a certain amount of clutter can be functional for productivity. For example, I keep many items on my desk so I can reach them quickly, and although it looks messy to others, I can always find what I need.

× Well, I love to keep things tidy, but am I tidy person?

✓ Well, I love to keep things tidy, but am I a tidy person?

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before 'tidy person', and the pronoun structure is awkward. Use 'a tidy person' to refer to one member of a class. Also keep question form 'Am I a tidy person?' with capital A at start if standalone.

× I would say definitely no.

✓ I would definitely say no.

Adverb placement is incorrect; 'definitely' should come before the verb phrase 'say no' for natural word order in English. Move 'definitely' to modify 'would say'.

× I am like that kind of person who's not dirty.

✓ I am the kind of person who is not dirty.

Use 'the kind of person who' rather than 'like that kind of person who's'. Also avoid contraction 'who's' for clarity; 'who is' fits formal sentence structure.

× My surroundings are extremely clean, but they're also messy.

✓ My surroundings are generally clean, but they can be messy too.

'Extremely clean' and 'also messy' conflict; rephrase to show contrast: 'generally clean' and 'can be messy too' clarifies the intended meaning and improves sentence flow.

× Like everything's around when I'm studying at dusk, the pencils, the papers, everything scattered around and they're just messy.

✓ When I'm studying in the evening, everything is around me: pencils, papers; everything is scattered and messy.

Sentence is run-on and uses informal 'like'. Replace with a time expression 'in the evening' and use proper clause structure: subject + verb ('everything is scattered'). Ensure agreement and clarity.

× I tend to.

✓ I tend to do that.

'I tend to' is incomplete without an object or infinitive. Add 'do that' or a specific action to complete the verb phrase.

× Ever since I was a kid, I was one of those children who was a perfect child to the other parents who had really good nose at school, who did not behave naughty.

✓ When I was a kid, I was one of those children who seemed perfect to other parents at school and did not behave badly.

Mixed and incorrect tenses and word choices: 'Ever since I was a kid' suggests a continuing state which conflicts with 'was'. Use simple past 'When I was a kid' for past habits. 'Had really good nose' is incorrect — likely 'seemed perfect' or 'appeared well behaved'. 'Did not behave naughty' should be 'did not behave badly' (adverb).

× I would just sit and read books and my outfits were always very put up and I always behaved well.

✓ I would just sit and read books; my clothes were always well put together, and I always behaved well.

'Outfits were very put up' is unnatural. Use 'well put together' to describe neat clothing. Add punctuation to separate clauses for clarity.

× But there was one thing about me and that was me being really messy, my room being really messy, so I couldn't.

✓ But there was one thing about me: I was really messy — my room was very messy — so I couldn't keep it tidy.

Original is fragmented and ends abruptly. Clarify by completing the thought: state that the speaker couldn't keep the room tidy. Use colons or dashes to set off appositive information.

× I find these questions to be very ironical because my surroundings are narrow, tidy, my desk is just complete mess.

✓ I find these questions ironic because although some parts of my surroundings are tidy and narrow, my desk is a complete mess.

'Ironical' is uncommon; 'ironic' is preferred. Word order and articles: 'my desk is just complete mess' needs 'a complete mess'. Clarify contrast with 'although'.

× The pencils scattered on the papers are somewhere, I find them everything.

✓ The pencils and papers are scattered everywhere; I can usually find them.

Original is ungrammatical: 'are somewhere' and 'I find them everything' are incorrect. Use 'scattered everywhere' and 'I can usually find them' to convey meaning.

× I've managed to find everything easily, but when other people come to my space, they just cannot find anything.

✓ I can usually find everything easily, but when other people come into my space, they cannot find anything.

Present perfect 'I've managed' is acceptable but present simple 'I can usually find' matches habitual ability better. Also use 'come into my space' for correct preposition.

× But I think I carved the harmony of being messy really good.

✓ But I think I've found a good balance in my messy system.

'Carved the harmony of being messy really good' is awkward and unidiomatic. Use 'found a good balance' or 'made a system' and correct adverb use: 'really well' not 'really good' when modifying a verb.

× I feel like this is one of the most misperceived team teams in the society because I believe 1 needs not to be tidy at all.

✓ I feel this is one of the most misunderstood ideas in society because I believe one does not need to be tidy at all.

'Misperceived team teams' is incorrect—use 'misunderstood ideas'. Numeric '1' should be 'one'. 'Needs not to be tidy' is archaic; use 'does not need to be tidy'.

× My parents would say if you're not tidy you can find yourself easily or when you're not tidy it's harder to clean, but I don't think that's true.

✓ My parents would say that if you're tidy you can find things easily, and if you're not tidy it's harder to clean, but I don't think that's true.

Original flips meaning: 'if you're not tidy you can find yourself easily' is incorrect. Clarify intended contrasts and use 'things' instead of 'yourself'.

× My room's a mess, but when you go to my room, I can navigate to find anything in my room.

✓ My room is a mess, but when you go there, I can navigate it and find anything I need.

Avoid repetition 'my room' and use 'go there' for natural pronoun. 'Navigate to find anything' is awkward; use 'navigate it and find anything I need'.