Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid awkward phrases and repetition, correct grammar and word choice, and limit to about 2–4 sentences. Use linking words to connect reason and example.

例: Yes, I do. I like to keep my room tidy because an organized space helps me concentrate better. For example, my grandmother taught me to clean and arrange my things every day, which makes studying much easier.

提案: Answer directly and use past tense correctly. Avoid redundant clauses and incorrect words. Provide a concise contrast between past and present with a linking phrase (e.g., "but" or "however").

例: No, I didn't. As a child I was messy and left toys and clothes around, but over time my grandmother taught me simple routines like putting things away, so I became more organized.

提案: Reduce hesitations and filler words. Organize answer with a clear topic sentence followed by 2–3 specific methods, using linking words like "first," "then," and "also." Use correct verb forms and avoid unnecessary detail. Keep it concise.

例: I keep my clinic tidy by following a routine. First, we sanitize and wipe down all surfaces each morning; then we disinfect again before each appointment. We also use a safe insect-control solution in the cleaning water to keep the space hygienic.

提案: Provide a clear, complete answer with well-connected reasons. Avoid fillers and incomplete thoughts. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "gives a good impression," "reduces germs"). Finish with a final linking word or example rather than leaving the sentence hanging.

例: Yes, I do. Being tidy gives a good impression and shows respect for others. It also reduces the risk of germs and makes people feel more comfortable, especially since hygiene has become more important after COVID.

× I believe cleanliness is next to Goddess.

✓ I believe cleanliness is next to God.

The phrase is an English idiom 'cleanliness is next to Godliness' or shortened 'next to God'. 'Goddess' is incorrect here; use 'God' or the full idiom 'Godliness'. Use the definite article is not required; fix word choice to match idiom. Suggestion: say 'cleanliness is next to godliness' or 'cleanliness is next to God'.

× I always keep my room and things neat and clear tidy because organized things helps me to focus more much better as compared to cluttered room.

✓ I always keep my room and things neat and tidy because organized things help me to focus much better compared with a cluttered room.

Multiple adjective/adverb problems: 'clear tidy' is redundant and 'tidy' should follow 'neat'; 'helps' disagrees with plural subject 'things' (subject-verb agreement); 'more much better' is redundant and ungrammatical. Also 'cluttered room' needs an article. Suggestion: simplify adjectives, ensure verb agrees with subject, and use either 'much better' or 'more' but not both.

× And I learned this habit from my grandmother.

✓ I learned this habit from my grandmother.

Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal but not strictly grammatical; remove it for formal speech. No tense change needed.

× She insisted me that one should keep neat and clean its surrounding.

✓ She insisted to me that one should keep one's surroundings neat and clean.

Pronoun and possessive errors: 'insisted me' should be 'insisted to me' or better 'told me'; 'its surrounding' is incorrect because 'one' requires 'one's surroundings' or use 'their surroundings'. Suggestion: use 'told me' or 'insisted to me' and correct possessive to 'one's surroundings'.

× I really didn't because my grandmother used to tell me that she did a lot of efforts to make me learn how to keep things organised and roam neat and clean.

✓ I really didn't because my grandmother used to tell me that she made a lot of efforts to teach me how to keep things organised and my room neat and clean.

Verb tense 'did a lot of efforts' is wrong; use 'made a lot of effort' or 'made many efforts'. 'Make me learn' should be 'teach me'. 'roam' is a typo for 'room'. Suggestion: use 'told me', 'made a lot of effort', and 'teach me'.

× I was reluctant and fussy child.

✓ I was a reluctant and fussy child.

Missing article 'a' before singular noun 'child'. Add 'a' to make correct noun phrase.

× I always cluttered my rooms through things here and there.

✓ I always cluttered my room with things here and there.

Wrong preposition and plural mismatch: 'cluttered my rooms through things' is ungrammatical. Use 'cluttered my room with things' and keep singular 'room' to match context.

× By the time I learnt from her how to keep everything.

✓ By that time I had learned from her how to keep everything.

Sentence fragment and wrong tense: 'By the time' needs a main clause; use 'By that time I had learned...' to indicate prior action. 'Learnt' is acceptable but 'had learned' clarifies sequence.

× There are several ways with, with the, I keep my, uh, clinic neat and clean.

✓ There are several ways I keep my clinic neat and clean.

Disfluent filler words removed and structure simplified. 'There are several ways with, with the,' is incorrect; integrate the clause properly.

× Also sanitize early in the morning.

✓ I also sanitize it early in the morning.

Missing subject and object; verb form is fine but sentence fragment. Add subject 'I' and object 'it' (the clinic) for completeness.

× We clean each and every surface and also sanitize it before fixing the appointment with our patient.

✓ We clean every surface and sanitize it before scheduling appointments with our patients.

'Each and every' is redundant; 'fixing the appointment' is unnatural—use 'scheduling appointments'; pluralize 'patients' for general practice.

× And after that we are using special product to keep our clinic insect free, uh, that we, uh, add into the water.

✓ After that we use a special product to keep our clinic insect-free, which we add to the water.

Present continuous 'we are using' is acceptable but simple present 'we use' is more natural for routine. 'product' needs an article, 'insect free' should be hyphenated, and 'that we add into the water' is awkward—use 'which we add to the water'.

× Definitely, it is very important to be neat and clean.

✓ Definitely, it is very important to be neat and clean.

No grammatical change required; sentence is acceptable. (No action taken.)

× First and foremost, it, uh, develop an immediate connection with others, uh, because it shows that one is disease free as well as uh, doesn't carry any kind of harmful bacterias as people are more aware after COVID situation and 2nd.

✓ First and foremost, it develops an immediate connection with others because it shows that one is disease-free and does not carry any harmful bacteria, especially since people are more aware after the COVID situation.

Subject-verb agreement: 'it, uh, develop' should be 'it develops'. 'Doesn't carry' should match singular 'one' but better to use 'does not carry'. 'Bacterias' is incorrect plural; use 'bacteria'. Remove fillers and awkward 'and 2nd'. Suggestion: use hyphen 'disease-free' and restructure for clarity.