Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 많이 어색하고 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 우선 질문에 직접 답하는 문장(topic sentence)을 하나 만들어야 합니다(예: Yes, I like to keep things tidy.). 그 다음에 이유와 구체적 예시를 하나 또는 두 개의 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 연결어(for example, because, so 등)를 사용해 논리적으로 이어주고 문장 수는 3~4문장 안으로 유지하세요. 발음이나 단어 선택에서 정확한 표현(예: "schedule for a month" 대신 "a monthly schedule" 또는 "a cleaning schedule for the month")을 사용하면 더 자연스럽습니다.

例: Yes, I do like to keep things tidy because a clean environment helps me concentrate. For example, I have a cleaning routine and I make a monthly schedule to organize chores. This way I don't feel overwhelmed and can find things easily.

提案: 대답이 질문에 바로 답하지 않고 혼란스러운 표현이 많습니다. 과거 습관을 묻는 질문에는 과거 시제로 간단히 시작하세요(예: No, I didn't.). 그 뒤에 이유와 현재와의 대비를 구체적으로 설명하세요. 연결어(when, but, however, now)를 사용해 시간 흐름을 분명히 하고 문법(과거형, 주어-동사 일치)을 정확히 하세요.

例: No, I wasn't very tidy as a child because I was young and careless. However, I learned to be more careful as I grew older, so now I always try to keep my room organized.

提案: 답변이 산만하고 구체성이 부족합니다. 먼저 방법을 명확히 제시하세요(예: I keep it tidy by ...). 구체적인 행동(예: clearing desk every evening, using folders, setting a schedule)을 1~2개 제시하고 이유를 간단히 덧붙이세요. 연결어(and, so, because)를 사용해 문장을 매끄럽게 연결하고 문장 수는 2~4문장으로 유지하세요.

例: I keep my study space tidy by clearing my desk every evening and putting papers into labeled folders. I also follow a weekly schedule to sort out tasks, so I can focus better when I start working.

提案: 핵심 의견은 있으나 표현이 모호하고 문장 구조가 혼란스럽습니다. 의견을 명확한 주제문으로 시작하세요(예: I think being tidy is important.). 그 다음 이유를 1~2개 제시하고, 예외를 말할 때는 but 또는 however로 간결히 연결하세요. 구체적 단어(comfortable, productive 등)를 사용해 설득력을 높이세요.

例: I think being tidy is important because it makes people feel more comfortable and helps them be more productive. However, if someone feels comfortable in a mess and it doesn't affect their work, it's not always necessary for them to be very tidy.

× 12 cycle I talked to three things in party because it feels more smart and fearful about the material.

✓ When I go to a party I talk about three topics because it makes me feel more confident and less anxious about the material.

The original sentence has unclear word order and incorrect phrases ('12 cycle', 'talked to three things', 'feels more smart and fearful') which make the meaning obscure. Reorder into a clear subject-verb structure and choose appropriate vocabulary: 'When I go to a party' (time clause), 'I talk about three topics' (correct verb and object), and 'it makes me feel more confident and less anxious' (correct collocations). Korean: 원래 문장은 단어 순서가 혼란스러우며 부적절한 표현들이 있어 의미가 불명확합니다. 시간 부사절, 올바른 동사-목적어 구조 및 적절한 숙어 구문으로 재구성해야 합니다.

× For example, I make a schedule for a month.

✓ For example, I make a schedule for a month.

The sentence is grammatically acceptable in present simple to state a habitual action. No tense change is needed. Ensure clarity: you could say 'I make a monthly schedule' for conciseness. Korean: 현재 단순시제로 습관을 표현하는 문장으로 문법적으로 맞습니다. 더 간결하게 'I make a monthly schedule'로 바꿀 수 있습니다.

× Is that a question? Unfortunately, I couldn't get things in my room.

✓ Are you asking if I kept my room tidy as a child? Unfortunately, I couldn't keep my room organized when I was young.

The response didn't address the examiner's question directly and used incorrect verb phrases ('couldn't get things in my room'). Rephrase to mirror the question and use 'keep...organized' for tidiness in the past: 'when I was young'. Korean: 원문은 질문에 바로 답하지 않고 부적절한 동사 표현을 사용합니다. 과거 시제와 적절한 동사구('keep... organized')로 명확하게 답변해야 합니다.

× Patty and I was young as I grew up.

✓ Patty and I were young as we were growing up.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference are incorrect: use 'were' for plural past and match pronouns ('we' rather than repeating 'I'). Also use continuous past 'were growing up' for the developmental period. Korean: 주어-동사 일치와 대명사 참조가 잘못되었습니다. 복수 주어에는 'were'를 사용하고 'we'로 대명사를 통일해야 합니다. 성장 기간을 나타내려면 과거진행을 사용합니다.

× I just learn how to be careful and care about things in my room.

✓ I just learned how to be careful and take care of the things in my room.

The action refers to a past learning event, so the past tense 'learned' is required. Also use the correct collocation 'take care of' rather than just 'care about'. Korean: 학습이 과거에 일어난 일이라면 과거형 'learned'를 사용해야 합니다. 또한 'take care of'가 적절한 관용표현입니다.

× So now I become.

✓ So now I am more organized.

'I become' is incomplete and lacks an object or complement. Provide a clear adjective complement: 'I am more organized' to express the change in state. Korean: 'I become'는 불완전하여 보어가 필요합니다. 변화된 상태를 나타내려면 'I am more organized'처럼 보어를 추가해야 합니다.

× What's the interesting question Usually I may feel better and I work on the things I have to do and things I should do and other things that I cannot secure about the people just start the work or study.

✓ That's an interesting question. Usually I feel better when I work on the tasks I have to do and the tasks I should do, rather than worrying about other people starting their work or study.

The original contains run-on structure, unclear phrases ('cannot secure about the people'), and incorrect connectors. Break into two sentences, use clear clauses ('feel better when'), and replace unclear segments with precise wording ('rather than worrying about other people starting'). Korean: 원문은 문장이 길고 문장 연결이 부적절하며 의미 불분명한 표현이 있습니다. 문장을 분리하고 명확한 접속사와 어휘로 교체해야 합니다.

× I took the schedule because.

✓ I follow a schedule because it helps me stay focused.

The original is a sentence fragment lacking a reason clause completion. Provide a full clause explaining why: 'because it helps me stay focused.' Use 'follow a schedule' rather than 'took the schedule.' Korean: 문장이 미완성된 단편입니다. 이유 절을 완성하고 적절한 동사구('follow a schedule')로 수정해야 합니다.

× It is necessary. Uh, it is depends on how it's personal about our review is personal feel more comfortable and what is nice when they do tidy for sisters.

✓ It is necessary. It depends on the person: if keeping things tidy makes someone feel more comfortable, then it is good for them, but not everyone needs to do it.

The original misuses quantifiers and pronouns ('it is depends', 'our review is personal', 'tidy for sisters') and is confusing. Use 'depends on the person' and clearly state the conditional relationship. Avoid unclear nouns like 'review' and 'sisters' unless intended. Korean: 수량 표현과 대명사 사용이 부적절하고 문장이 혼란스럽습니다. 'depends on the person'처럼 명확히 표현하고 조건문으로 정리해야 합니다.

× But if the person don't feel like that, they don't have to go through too much.

✓ But if a person doesn't feel that way, they don't have to do so much.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun number: use 'doesn't' with singular 'a person' and use 'that way' (correct phrase). 'Do so much' is a clearer collocation than 'go through too much.' Korean: 단수 주어에는 'doesn't'를 사용해야 하며 'feel that way'가 올바른 표현입니다. 'do so much'가 더 자연스럽습니다.