Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct verb forms and articles, give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep answers concise (max 4–5 sentences). For example, say you prefer a relaxed space and explain how tidying achieves that with a concrete detail.

例: I prefer to keep my room tidy because a clean space helps me feel relaxed. For example, when I sort out my old clothes and put books on shelves, the room feels more spacious and I can concentrate better. Therefore, tidying improves both the look of my things and my mood.

提案: Organize chronologically and correct tense usage: start with a clear topic sentence about the past habit, use past tense consistently, then contrast with present using linking words (e.g., 'but', 'however'). Provide one specific example from childhood and one current habit to support your answer.

例: When I was a child, I usually kept my room tidy because I had more energy and followed my parents' rules. However, as an adult I sometimes find it hard to tidy regularly. For instance, I used to hang toys on hooks and make my bed every morning, which made my room look neat.

提案: Be specific about actions and use sequencing/linking words: start with a topic sentence describing routines, then list specific measures (e.g., clear desk, use trays, tidy at end of day) using linking words like 'first', 'then', 'after that'. Fix grammar and avoid repetition.

例: I keep my study space tidy by following a simple routine. First, I clear my desk and put papers into folders; then I use a tray for pens and charge devices in one corner. Finally, I spend five minutes tidying at the end of each day so my workspace is ready for the next day.

提案: Give a clear stance and support it with balanced reasons: state whether you think tidiness is necessary, then explain why with specific examples and a linking word like 'however' to show exceptions. Use correct modal verbs and tenses and keep sentences concise.

例: I don't think being tidy is always necessary because some work days are too busy to maintain perfect order. However, I try to tidy at the weekend because it helps me relax and be more productive. For example, on Sundays I tidy my room and organize my files so the week starts smoothly.

× No, I don't like to keep things tidy because it's make my mind more depressed.

✓ No, I don't like to keep things tidy because it makes my mind more depressed.

The subject 'it' requires the third person singular verb form 'makes'. This is a subject-verb agreement and third person singular issue; use 'makes' instead of 'make' to match 'it' and present simple tense.

× I like to clean my old things, make my room very spacious and good things and it makes my mind very relaxed.

✓ I like to clean my old things, make my room very spacious and nice, and it makes my mind very relaxed.

Parallel structure is required when listing infinitive actions and adjectives. 'Good things' is vague; 'nice' fits as an adjective modifying the room. The list should include 'and' before the final item to be grammatically correct.

× And also it's, uh, make your things very beautiful when you organise old things very well.

✓ And also, it makes your things look very beautiful when you organise old things well.

After 'it' we need the third person singular verb 'makes'. Additionally, 'look' is required to describe appearance and 'organise ... well' is more natural.

× Yes, in childhood I keep my room tidy because that time I don't know about tiredness, but when I grown up in age up like in grown up age, I like to clean my room.

✓ Yes, in childhood I kept my room tidy because at that time I didn't know about tiredness, but when I grew up I started to like cleaning my room.

The sentence refers to past actions, so use past tense verbs 'kept', 'didn't know', and 'grew up'. Also 'started to like cleaning' expresses the change over time more naturally.

× I like to clean all things very well and maintain my room all things very well.

✓ I like to clean everything thoroughly and keep my room well maintained.

Use 'everything' instead of 'all things' and 'thoroughly' as an adverb to modify 'clean'. 'Keep my room well maintained' is a natural collocation.

× And it also makes my room very spacious and good things make my mind more beautiful.

✓ It also makes my room very spacious, and these good changes make my mind feel better.

'Good things' is vague; clarify with 'good changes'. 'Make my mind more beautiful' is unnatural; use 'make my mind feel better'. Use commas and conjunctions to join clauses correctly.

× Like when I have to do lots of work of my job, then I will do my room very tidy.

✓ When I have a lot of work at my job, I make sure my room is tidy.

The original uses 'will do my room very tidy' which is ungrammatical. If describing habitual behavior when busy, present simple 'I make sure my room is tidy' is appropriate. Also use 'a lot of work' and 'at my job'.

× Like I just focus only on my work because it's make my mind more relaxed when I am doing all things and I don't have any type of stress of to doing cleaning cleanness.

✓ I just focus on my work because it makes my mind more relaxed when I am working, and I don't have the stress of having to clean.

Use third person singular 'makes' for 'it'. Replace 'doing all things' with 'working', and 'stress of to doing cleaning cleanness' with 'stress of having to clean' for grammaticality and clarity.

× So it's make very much easier for me to do work and.

✓ So it makes it much easier for me to do my work.

Correct subject-verb agreement 'makes' and include the object 'it' and 'my work'. Remove the trailing 'and' and use 'much easier'.

× No, according to me it's not necessary to be tidy but sometime it's happen when I have to do jobs regularly in a week, so I don't have that much time I have to clean my room.

✓ No, in my opinion it's not necessary to be tidy, but sometimes it happens that when I have to work regularly during the week, I don't have much time to clean my room.

Use 'in my opinion' for clarity. 'Sometimes it happens that' is the correct phrasing. Replace 'jobs regularly in a week' with 'work regularly during the week' and 'I don't have much time to clean' is correct modal/tense usage.

× So that time I matched my room, but I after that when I was when I will free then I will use to clean my room and it's make my room very spacious and it's good for me.

✓ At that time I would leave my room as it was, but later when I am free I clean my room, and it makes my room very spacious and is good for me.

'Matched my room' is incorrect—use 'leave my room as it was' or 'leave it messy'. Use consistent tense: habitual present 'I am free I clean' or 'when I am free I clean my room'. Use 'makes' for third person singular and 'is good for me' for clarity.