Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and sentence structure: use correct tense and articles, fix word order and agreement. Be concise and natural: give a clear topic sentence then one supporting reason with linking words. Limit to up to 3–4 short sentences. Add a specific example to make it concrete.

例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy. For example, I always organize my desk every evening because it makes it much easier to find books and stationery the next day. Also, a neat room helps me relax and focus when I start studying.

提案: Correct past-tense forms and phrasing: use ‘used to be’ and ‘taught me’. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then explain with a brief supporting detail and a linking word. Include a specific childhood habit to add detail.

例: No, I didn’t use to keep my room tidy as a child. My mother taught me how to organize my things, and after practicing that routine I gradually enjoyed keeping my room clean. For example, she showed me how to fold clothes and label boxes.

提案: Improve word choice and grammar: use correct verbs and prepositions (e.g., ‘when I start studying’, ‘spend five minutes cleaning’). Use linking words and a specific routine detail. Keep it concise and clear.

例: When I start studying, I always spend five minutes cleaning my desk and laptop. I sort and label my documents so everything is easy to find, which helps me concentrate better during study sessions.

提案: Clarify and simplify the argument: use natural phrasing (e.g., ‘reduce wasted time’). Provide one or two specific benefits with linking words. Fix grammar and vocabulary (e.g., ‘besides’).

例: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary. For example, it reduces wasted time looking for things and therefore increases work efficiency. Besides, a tidy environment helps me concentrate and feel less stressed.

× Yes, I always keep my room and desk tidiest because it's make it easier to find when I need it.

✓ Yes, I always keep my room and desk tidy because it makes it easier to find things when I need them.

Errors: 'tidiest' is a superlative adjective used incorrectly; 'tidy' (positive form) fits meaning. 'it's make' has subject-verb disagreement and wrong contraction: change to 'it makes'. Missing object after 'find' — add 'things'. Pronoun 'it' referring to plural 'things' should be 'them'. Suggestions: use correct adjective form (tidy), ensure subject-verb agreement with third person singular (makes), include the object of 'find', and match pronouns to their antecedents (them).

× Also an organized environment helps me relax and happy when I started.

✓ Also, an organized environment helps me relax and be happy when I start.

Errors: Missing comma after 'Also'. 'helps me relax and happy' mixes verb and adjective — parallel structure required: 'relax and be happy'. 'when I started' uses past tense incorrectly with present-tense general statement; use present simple 'when I start'. Suggestions: keep parallel verbs, use consistent tense for habitual actions, and add necessary commas.

× No, I used to be untidy as a child but my mom personally teach me how to put things in order.

✓ No, I used to be untidy as a child, but my mom personally taught me how to put things in order.

Errors: 'used to be' correctly expresses past habit. However 'teach' is present tense; it should be past 'taught' to match 'used to' and the time frame. Add a comma before 'but' for clarity. Suggestions: match verb tense to the time reference (past) and punctuate compound sentences.

× Now I enjoy keeping my room clean because I really happy about that.

✓ Now I enjoy keeping my room clean because I am really happy about that.

Errors: Missing verb 'am' after subject 'I' to link to adjective 'happy'. 'really' correctly modifies 'happy'. Suggestions: include appropriate linking verb (be) when using subject + adjective.

× When I start to walk or study I always spend 5 minutes to clean my desk and laptop.

✓ When I start walking or studying, I always spend 5 minutes cleaning my desk and laptop.

Errors: Use of 'start to walk or study' is acceptable but 'start walking or studying' is more natural; after 'spend' use gerund 'cleaning' not infinitive 'to clean'. Add comma after introductory clause. Suggestions: use gerund after 'spend' and prefer '-ing' after 'start' for parallelism.

× I also organize documents on table so it's easy to find things and I can more concentrate.

✓ I also organize documents on the table so it's easy to find things and I can concentrate more.

Errors: Missing article before 'table' — use 'the table'. Adverb placement: 'concentrate more' is correct order; 'more concentrate' is incorrect. Add comma before 'so' optional. Suggestions: include definite article with specific nouns and place adverbs after the verb for natural word order.

× I think being tidy is necessary for everyone because this routine can increase work efficiency through the avoidance time to fighting.

✓ I think being tidy is necessary for everyone because this routine can increase work efficiency by avoiding wasted time and conflict.

Errors: 'through the avoidance time to fighting' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use 'by avoiding' + noun phrase to show means. 'wasted time and conflict' conveys likely intended meaning; 'fighting' should be a noun 'conflict' or 'arguments'. Suggestions: express purpose/method with 'by + -ing' structure and choose appropriate nouns for clarity.

× Beside it helps us concentrate better.

✓ Besides, it helps us concentrate better.

Errors: 'Beside' is wrong preposition; use 'Besides' as a discourse adverb meaning 'in addition'. Add comma after introductory adverb. Suggestions: distinguish 'beside' (next to) from 'besides' (moreover) and punctuate introductory elements.