Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear but has some unnatural phrasing and minor repetition. Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences, use a clear topic sentence, and add one specific example. In English (Japan): 言い回しを自然にし、繰り返しを避け、具体例を一つ入れると良いです。例えば「gives me a good move」は不自然なので「gives me a sense of relief」などに変えましょう。

例: Yes, I do. Keeping things tidy gives me a sense of relief and helps me think more clearly. For example, when I clean my room before studying, I feel less stressed and can concentrate better.

提案: Good direct response but contains informal fillers and some redundancy. Use a clear topic sentence, then one specific supporting reason or short example. In English (Japan): 「you know」などのフィラーを減らし、理由を一つだけ明確に述べると良いです。短く具体的に述べましょう。

例: Not really. I was quite messy as a child because I loved playing and often left toys and clothes on the floor. For instance, my room was usually covered with art supplies after I finished a project.

提案: Answer explains methods but has repetition and some word choice issues (e.g., "decks" instead of "desk"). Use linking words and one clear, specific method. In English (Japan): 単語ミス（"decks"→"desk"）に気を付け、論理的に繋げるために接続詞を使い、具体的な整理法を一つ述べるとより良いです。

例: I keep my desk tidy because I can't focus otherwise. For example, I use a basket for loose papers and a shelf for my books, so everything has a place and I can work without distractions.

提案: The idea is fine but there are grammar and word choice errors ("park"→"part"). Make a clear topic sentence and give one specific reason or result. In English (Japan): 単語ミスや文法に注意し、理由を一つに絞って具体的に説明すると説得力が増します。例えば衛生面や気分への影響を別々の文で述べましょう。

例: Yes, I think being tidy is important. It helps maintain hygiene and also improves your mood; for example, a clean kitchen reduces the risk of pests and makes cooking more enjoyable.

× I really like to keep things tidy because it really gives me a good move if I clean up a messy room or a messy place and it will help reduce also stress.

✓ I really like to keep things tidy because it really gives me a good mood if I clean up a messy room or place and it also helps reduce stress.

The original uses 'move' instead of 'mood' (word choice) and awkward word order 'reduce also stress'. Replace 'move' with 'mood' and reorder to 'also helps reduce stress'. Also simplify 'a messy room or a messy place' to 'a messy room or place' for naturalness. Use present tense and gerund/purpose structures correctly. English (Japan): 'move'は誤用で意味が通じません。正しくは'mood'です。また'also'の位置は動詞と助動詞の前に置くのが自然です。語順を修正し、冗長な表現を簡潔にしてください.

× Not really. I would say I was a messy kid because as a kid you know, you like to play around and too much so it could get messy anytime.

✓ Not really. I would say I was a messy kid because as a child you liked to play around a lot, so it could get messy at any time.

Tense and word choice: mixing 'was' with present 'you like' is inconsistent. Use past tense 'you liked' to match 'was a messy kid'. 'Too much' should be 'a lot' and 'anytime' in this context should be 'at any time'. English (Japan): 過去の話なので動詞は過去形に揃えます('you liked')。また'play around and too much'は不自然なので'play around a lot'に直し、'anytime'は'at any time'の方がこの文脈では適切です.

× I usually keep things tidy because I wouldn't be able to focus if I if my decks are very messy.

✓ I usually keep things tidy because I wouldn't be able to focus if my desk were very messy.

Subject-verb and word choice: 'decks' is a wrong plural noun; it should be 'desk' singular. After 'if' in a hypothetical present conditional, use 'were' for subjunctive (or 'was' conversationally), so 'if my desk were very messy' is correct. Also remove duplicate 'if'. English (Japan): 'decks'は誤字で'desk'に直します。仮定法では'if my desk were'を使うのが文法的に正しいです。'if'が重複しているので一つを削除してください.

× So for example I keep a specific basket or a place for my books and belonging so my deck is tidy, then I could focus.

✓ For example, I keep a specific basket or place for my books and belongings so my desk is tidy, and then I can focus.

Prepositions and word forms: 'belonging' should be plural 'belongings'. 'For example' is better without 'So' and followed by a comma. Use 'desk' not 'deck'. Use 'and then I can focus' to indicate present ability; 'could' suggests conditional. Also add commas for clarity. English (Japan): 'belonging'は集合名詞でなく'belongings'にするのが自然です。'deck'は誤字で'desk'。文のつながりに合わせて'then I can focus'とし、句読点を適切に入れてください.

× I think tidiness is as necessary park for hygiene and also for your mood and it really helps you organize and makes things more effective.

✓ I think tidiness is an essential part of hygiene and also of your mood; it really helps you stay organized and makes things more efficient.

Word choice and collocation: 'park' is wrong; should be 'part'. 'Necessary part' is awkward—'an essential part' is better. 'Helps you organize' should be 'helps you stay organized' and 'more effective' to describe things becomes 'more efficient'. Also add 'of' after 'also' for parallel structure and use punctuation to divide clauses. English (Japan): 'park'は誤字で'part'。'necessary part'より'an essential part'の方が自然です。'helps you organize'より'stay organized'を使い、'more effective'は' more efficient'の方が対象に適切です.