Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and simplify your response. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you like to keep things tidy, then give one brief reason and one example. Use correct vocabulary (tidy, keep, room) and avoid invented words. Keep it under five sentences and use a linking word like 'but' to show contrast.

例: Yes, I like to keep my room tidy because it helps me feel calm. However, sometimes I do not tidy up when I am very tired, so things get messy for a while.

提案: Answer directly, then give a concise supporting detail with correct vocabulary: 'grandmother', 'helped', 'learn'. Use a linking word like 'but' for contrast and provide one specific example of what you learned. Avoid wrong words like 'glamour' for 'grandmother' or 'tight' for 'tidy'.

例: No, I didn't keep my room tidy as a child. My grandmother used to help me clean and taught me to put toys in boxes, so I gradually learned to be neater.

提案: Structure your answer: state your main method, then give a specific detail and a linking word. Use correct phrases like 'I try to keep things minimal' and 'so I don't get confused'. Mention exact items and explain how this helps focus. Keep it concise and grammatical.

例: I try to keep my study space minimal, using only one notebook, one pencil and a tablet. This way I don't get confused about which items to use and my desk stays tidy.

提案: Give a clear opinion sentence, then a reason and a short example. Use correct words: 'necessary', 'tidy', 'distracting', 'concentrate'. Use a linking word like 'because' to connect reason. Avoid hesitation fillers like 'uh' and incorrect collocations like 'tie the tiredness'.

例: Yes, I think it is necessary to be tidy because a messy environment is distracting. For example, when my desk is cluttered I find it hard to concentrate on studying.

× Yes, I like your tidy in my room, the cursor if I keep tight my loom, it's gonna be changing my mind reflection, but sometimes it's difficult to tie keep in tight because I'm tired.

✓ Yes, I like to keep my room tidy; when I keep my room tidy, it changes how I feel, but sometimes it's difficult to keep it tidy because I'm tired.

The original sentence misuses adjectives/adverbs and has many word order problems. 'Like your tidy' is incorrect; the standard expression is 'like to keep my room tidy.' 'Keep tight my loom' and similar phrases are incorrect word order and wrong words ('loom' -> 'room', 'tight' -> 'tidy'). 'It's gonna be changing my mind reflection' is informal and unclear; replace with 'it changes how I feel.' Use 'keep it tidy' for the room object. Suggestion: use standard collocations ('keep something tidy'), correct word order (subject-verb-object), and avoid informal contractions like 'gonna' in formal answers.

× No, I didn't. Usually my grandmother helped me to keep being tighter my room and also around the living room as well. But I learned how to keep tight by my glamour.

✓ No, I didn't. Usually my grandmother helped me keep my room and the living room tidy. I learned how to keep things tidy from her.

The sentence has past tense but contains incorrect word choices and order. 'Helped me to keep being tighter my room' is ungrammatical; after 'helped me' use the base verb 'keep' and place the object 'my room' before 'tidy.' 'Keep tight' should be 'keep tidy.' 'By my glamour' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'from her' (referring to grandmother). Suggest using simple past verbs with correct verb forms and prepositions.

× I am try to use small things, I'm not using a lot of equipment and the notebooks just only one notebook, 1 pencil and the tablet and the IT makes not confused how which one I use and the tide in my.

✓ I try to use only small things; I don't use a lot of equipment. I use just one notebook, one pencil and a tablet, so I don't get confused about which item to use and my desk stays tidy.

Mixes present continuous and simple present incorrectly. 'I am try' should be 'I try' or 'I am trying.' Use 'don't use' for negative. 'Just only' is redundant; use 'just' or 'only.' '1' should be written as 'one' in speech. 'The IT makes not confused how which one I use' is ungrammatical; express cause and effect clearly: 'so I don't get confused about which item to use.' 'The tide in my' is incomplete; replace with 'my desk stays tidy.' Suggest using consistent present tense and clear subject-verb constructions.

× Yes, I think, uh, it is important to tie the tiredness because, uh, if there are really messy, maybe I can focus on what I want to do and there also difficult to concentrate.

✓ Yes, I think it is important to avoid messiness, because if things are really messy, I cannot focus on what I want to do and it is difficult to concentrate.

Incorrect word choices: 'tie the tiredness' is meaningless; use 'avoid messiness' or 'stay tidy.' 'If there are really messy' should be 'if things are really messy' (use a noun subject 'things'). 'Maybe I can focus' contradicts intended meaning; use 'I cannot focus.' 'There also difficult to concentrate' is missing verb and subject; use 'it is difficult to concentrate.' Suggest choosing correct nouns and verbs and ensuring subject-verb agreement.