Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then provide one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Correct verb forms and prepositions, and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, I do. I can't stand seeing mess, so I always tidy my room and personal belongings. For example, I clean the bathroom every week because I’m the only one responsible for it at home.

提案: Give a clear past-focused topic sentence and use correct past forms. Avoid repetition and add one specific example of a memory to make it richer. Use linking words like 'however' or 'but' to contrast past and present.

例: No, I didn't. As a child I was quite lazy and often left my room messy; for instance, my mother had to remind me every week to clean and take a shower. However, I am much tidier now.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence describing your routine, then give one or two specific actions using correct collocations (e.g., 'clear my desk', 'wipe away dust'). Use linking words to sequence actions.

例: I keep my study space tidy by clearing my desk of unnecessary items and storing papers in folders. I also wipe the surface and keyboard regularly to remove dust so I can concentrate better.

提案: Provide a concise opinion sentence followed by a clear reason and a specific result. Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure and verb forms.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary because a clean environment helps me concentrate. When my workspace is organized, I can focus better and complete tasks more efficiently.

× Yes I do because I can't stand to see something dirty front of me.

✓ Yes, I do because I can't stand to see something dirty in front of me.

The preposition 'in' is required in the phrase 'in front of me' to indicate position. Omission of 'in' is a prepositional error. Use 'in front of' to describe something positioned before you.

× So usually I find myself try to make my room tidy, my things tidy, even our bathroom at in our home I am responsible for it because I am only person who make it tight.

✓ So usually I find myself trying to make my room tidy, my things tidy, and even our bathroom at home; I am responsible for it because I am the only person who cleans it.

After 'find myself' the verb should be in the -ing form ('trying'). 'At in our home' is wrong preposition use; use 'at home' or simply 'home'. 'Only person' needs the definite article 'the'. 'Make it tight' is incorrect collocation; 'clean' or 'keep it clean' is appropriate. Use consistent verbs and correct articles.

× No, I didn't. When I was a child I used to be lazy, don't want to tie anything, even myself.

✓ No, I didn't. When I was a child I used to be lazy and didn't want to tidy anything, even myself.

The sentence mixes past habitual 'used to' with present tense 'don't want'. For past context use past form 'didn't want'. Also 'tie' is a misspelling/confusion; the correct verb is 'tidy'. Ensure tense consistency for past habits.

× I used to be dirty.

✓ I used to be dirty.

This sentence is correct for describing a past habitual state using 'used to'. No change needed.

× My my mother forced me to take a shower, to clean my house, clean my room.

✓ My mother forced me to take a shower and to clean my house and my room.

Use conjunction 'and' to link items in a list; remove the duplicated 'My'. Parallel structure is improved by repeating 'to' or keeping list parallel: 'forced me to take a shower and to clean...' or 'forced me to take a shower and clean...'.

× But I don't. But I didn't.

✓ But I didn't.

The student uses both present and past negatives incorrectly. In the context of childhood habits, only the past negative 'I didn't' is appropriate. Remove the present 'I don't' to maintain tense consistency.

× I make my space tidy by laying my table for study work for work and remove anything I don't use it and keep it without dusty.

✓ I keep my space tidy by preparing my desk for study or work, removing anything I don't use, and keeping it free of dust.

Use 'keep' or 'prepare' instead of 'make' with 'laying my table' which is unnatural; 'laying the table' implies setting dishes. Use gerunds/parallel -ing forms: 'preparing', 'removing', 'keeping'. 'Don't use it' should be 'I don't use'. 'Without dusty' is incorrect—use 'free of dust'.

× I remove any dusty from it.

✓ I remove any dust from it.

'Dusty' is an adjective meaning 'covered with dust'; the noun 'dust' is needed. 'Any dust' is the correct object. Use the noun after 'remove'.

× I think when my area be tidy, this helps me, uh, focus a lot Focus will at my study or at my work and helps me, uh, do my work, uh, by the best way, by focusing on it.

✓ I think when my area is tidy, it helps me focus a lot on my studies or my work and helps me do my work in the best way by allowing me to concentrate on it.

Use present tense 'is' instead of 'be'. Replace 'this' with 'it' for clarity. 'Focus a lot' needs 'on' before the object. 'Focus will at' is incorrect; use 'focus on my studies/work'. 'By the best way' is unnatural; use 'in the best way' or 'most effectively'. Rephrase for natural word order and correct prepositions.