Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 반복 오류를 줄이고 문장을 더 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 예를 들어 동사의 형태(organize → to organize, my my 삭제), 소유격(my things → my things/ my belongings)와 목적 표현을 바로잡으세요. 또한 연결어를 사용해 이유를 명확히 하고 한 문장 길이를 2~3문장으로 유지하세요.

例: Yes, I like to keep my belongings organized, so my room is tidy and clean. I prefer this because a neat space helps me relax and find things quickly.

提案: 시제 사용과 문장 완성을 개선하세요. 'used to'와 과거 시제 표현을 정확히 쓰고, 반복과 불완전한 문장을 제거하세요. 이유를 덧붙일 때는 연결어(so, because, but)를 자연스럽게 사용하세요.

例: When I was a child, I didn't use to keep my room tidy because I didn't want to spend a lot of time tidying up. But now I prefer to keep things organized because it saves time and reduces stress.

提案: 어휘 선택과 문장 구조를 정리하세요. 'sanitary'는 부적절한 단어이므로 'stationery' 또는 'supplies'로 바꾸고, 불필요한 중복과 어순 오류를 제거하세요. 방법을 순서대로 제시하고 연결어(for example, therefore)를 사용해 목적을 설명하세요.

例: I usually arrange my books and stationery neatly and throw away unnecessary papers. For example, I keep my desk clear and store supplies in drawers, so I can concentrate more easily.

提案: 문장을 완성하고 중복된 표현을 제거하세요. 이유를 제시할 때 논리적으로 정리하여 결과를 연결하세요. 예: 'because' 다음에 이유를 하나 혹은 두 개 제시하고 'therefore'로 결과를 마무리하세요.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is important because it reduces distractions and helps you focus. Therefore, people who keep a clean space tend to be more productive.

× Yes, I like organize my my things so my room is very neat and very clean.

✓ Yes, I like organizing my things, so my room is very neat and very clean.

The verb after 'like' should be in the -ing form (gerund) when expressing a general preference: 'like organizing' not 'like organize'. Also remove the repeated word 'my' and add a comma for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'like' + verb-ing for habits or preferences (e.g., 'I like cooking').

× I don't want to my room look messy so I organize it very clearly.

✓ I don't want my room to look messy, so I organize it carefully.

After 'want' when followed by another verb and an object, use the structure 'want + object + to + base verb' (want my room to look). Also use 'carefully' instead of 'clearly' to describe how you organize. Add a comma before 'so'. Suggestion: Use 'want + object + to + verb' and choose the correct adverb for the meaning.

× When I was a child, I I didn't arrange many things tidy because I want I don't want to spend a lot of time to or organize my things.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't arrange many things neatly because I didn't want to spend a lot of time organizing my things.

The sentence describes past habits, so verbs should be in the past tense: 'didn't want' not 'want' or 'don't want'. Use the adverb 'neatly' to modify 'arrange'. After 'spend time', use the -ing form: 'spend time organizing'. Remove repeated 'I' and extraneous 'to or'. Suggestion: For past habits, keep verbs in past tense and use 'spend time' + verb-ing.

× But for now, I like arrange my.

✓ But now I like to organize my things.

The clause 'for now' is better as 'now' and after 'like' you can use 'to organize' or 'organizing' — here 'to organize my things' is natural. The object 'things' was missing. Fix word order and complete the object. Suggestion: Ensure sentences have a complete verb phrase and object; 'I like to organize my things'.

× I usually organize my books or sanitary and I I throw away unnecessary paper to tidy my to clean my room.

✓ I usually organize my books and toiletries, and I throw away unnecessary papers to keep my room clean.

The word 'sanitary' is incorrect as a noun; 'toiletries' or 'sanitary items' is appropriate. Use 'papers' plural for documents. The phrase 'tidy my to clean my room' is ungrammatical; use 'keep my room clean'. Remove duplicate 'I'. Suggestion: Choose correct noun forms and use clear verbs like 'keep' for maintaining cleanliness.

× By organizing my things I can concentrate more easily.

✓ By organizing my things, I can concentrate more easily.

This sentence is mostly correct grammatically; add a comma after the introductory clause for readability. Tense and structure are appropriate for a general present-time statement. Suggestion: Use commas after introductory -ing clauses.

× It is good for me.

✓ It is good for me.

This sentence is grammatically correct and needs no change. It is a simple present statement expressing a general truth. Suggestion: None.

× Of course, in my opinion, many people clean up their room or study places because they can concentrate easily and remove, distract, remove distracting things so they can be more productive and can.

✓ Of course, in my opinion, many people clean up their rooms or study spaces because they can concentrate more easily and remove distracting things, so they can be more productive.

Use plural 'rooms' or 'their rooms' to agree with 'many people'. 'Study places' is better as 'study spaces'. Remove redundant words 'remove, distract, remove'. Complete the final clause by removing the unfinished 'and can'. Add a comma before 'so'. Suggestion: Avoid repetition, ensure subject-verb and plural agreement, and finish clauses with complete predicates.