Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g. “cleaning up flames”), and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Use linking words to show contrast when mentioning tiredness. Also correct small grammar errors (e.g. “I clean my room”, “I wash my makeup brushes”).

例: Yes, I do like to keep things tidy. I clean my room regularly and wash my makeup brushes once a week. However, when I am very busy with studying, I sometimes feel too tired to tidy up as often, so I focus on the most important tasks like putting things back in their place.

提案: Respond directly and give specific past details. Use past tense and avoid filler words. Explain briefly why you did not tidy and perhaps contrast with now using linking words. Fix grammar: “I relied on my mother” and “she cleaned my room.”

例: No, I didn't. When I was a child I relied on my mother to tidy my room—she cleaned it every week and often cleared my desk for me. Because of that, I didn't develop the habit of tidying up until I grew older.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and use correct vocabulary (it should be “mother,” not “murder”). Describe specific actions and use linking words to show sequence. Use present simple for habitual actions and correct verb forms (e.g. “I put pencils back” and “I clean my desk”).

例: I keep my study space tidy by following habits I learned from my mother. For example, after finishing homework I always put pencils back in their holders and clear any papers from my desk, so my workspace is ready for the next study session.

提案: Give a direct opinion and support it with clear reasons and examples. Avoid awkward word order; use linking words like “because” and “so” correctly. Correct grammar: “it can make me feel better and more productive.” Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is important because it makes me feel calmer and helps me work more productively. For instance, when my desk is organized I can find things quickly and focus better on my tasks.

× I would say yes, most of the time I do.

✓ I would say yes; most of the time I do.

The original sentence is acceptable but punctuation improves clarity. Use a semicolon or period to separate independent clauses.

× I try to keep my room steady like cleaning, cleaning up flames every hour and then I wash my brush, makeup brush every week.

✓ I try to keep my room tidy by cleaning it regularly, tidying up every hour, and washing my makeup brushes every week.

'Steady' is the wrong adjective for neatness; 'tidy' is appropriate. 'Cleaning, cleaning up flames' is unclear and likely a wrong word choice; 'tidying up every hour' conveys the intended meaning. Use plural 'brushes' for more than one and place modifiers next to verbs for clarity.

× But umm, I also feel tired from study.

✓ But I also feel tired from studying.

Use the gerund 'studying' after 'tired from' to form a correct noun phrase. 'From study' is less natural in this context.

× And absolutely not because I'm relying on my mother.

✓ Absolutely not, because I used to rely on my mother.

The question asks about the past. Use past tense 'used to rely' rather than present continuous 'I'm relying' to indicate a past habitual situation.

× My mother will cleaning up my room every week and clean help me to clean up the desk every day.

✓ My mother used to clean my room every week and helped me clean my desk every day.

Mixes future 'will' with incorrect '-ing' form 'cleaning' and awkward word order 'clean help me to clean'. For past habits, use 'used to' or simple past: 'used to clean' or 'cleaned'. Also use 'helped me clean' rather than 'help me to clean' in past context.

× So I think I'm not umm.

✓ So I don't think I did.

The fragment 'I'm not' is incomplete and unclear. In context, the student means they did not keep their room tidy as a child, so use 'I don't think I did' or 'I didn't' to complete the thought.

× I learned a habit from my murder.

✓ I learned a habit from my mother.

'Murder' is a wrong word choice; the intended word is 'mother'. This is a vocabulary error, not grammar, but correcting it is essential for meaning.

× When I finish my homework or work, I will return the pencils in the original locations and cleaning up my desk.

✓ When I finish my homework or work, I return the pencils to their original places and tidy up my desk.

Mixes future 'will' with present habit. For habitual actions, use simple present 'I return' and 'tidy up'. Use 'to their original places' rather than 'in the original locations'. Use 'tidy up' instead of 'cleaning up' for consistency.

× Yes, because it's can let me feel better and motivate off work productive it's actually.

✓ Yes, because it can make me feel better and help me be more productive at work.

'It's can' is ungrammatical; use 'it can'. 'Let me feel better' is better as 'make me feel better'. 'Motivate off work productive' is jumbled; express as 'help me be more productive at work'. Remove redundant 'it's actually'.

× I love cleaning.

✓ I love cleaning.

This sentence is grammatically correct as is; it fits present simple to express a general preference.