Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear. Start with a topic sentence stating whether you like to keep things tidy, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it under five sentences and avoid filler words (umm).

例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy. For example, I always put things back after I use them so I don’t lose time looking for them later. This habit helps me stay organized and reduces stress.

提案: Answer directly about your childhood habits then explain the influence or reason. Use clear linking words (because, so) and avoid unclear words. Provide one specific example of what you did as a child.

例: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy as a child because my mother was very particular about cleanliness. For instance, she made me put toys back in boxes every evening so my room stayed organized.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence describing your routine, then list specific actions you take using linking words (for example, after, so). Avoid hesitations and incorrect grammar. Keep it concise and coherent.

例: I keep my study space tidy by putting items back immediately after use. For example, I file papers in folders and return pens to a holder, so I never waste time looking for things.

提案: State your opinion clearly and explain with one or two coherent reasons using linking words (because, therefore). Avoid contradictory or vague statements. Give a specific consequence or example to support your view.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary because an organized space helps me concentrate. For example, when my desk is clutter-free I can focus better and finish tasks faster.

× Thanks umm, I really want to keep. Comes to using and when I use and when I have. Used anythings, I haven't tried to clean it and.

✓ Thanks. Umm, I really want to keep things tidy. When I use something, I try to put it back in its place.

The original contains fragmented sentences and unclear structure. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Combine fragments into complete sentences, use clear subjects and verbs, and replace vague words like 'anythings' with 'something' or 'things'. Use consistent present tense for habitual actions (e.g., 'I try').

× My mom is a tidy person, she doesn't want anything to uh.

✓ My mom is a tidy person; she doesn't want things to be messy.

The original ends abruptly and uses 'anything' awkwardly. This is an incorrect use of pronouns/words (ID 12). Specify 'things' and add the verb phrase 'to be messy' to complete the idea. Use a semicolon or conjunction to connect related clauses.

× There's in Montelette to build up, so she always taught me to clean my room.

✓ She didn't want clutter to build up, so she always taught me to clean my room.

The phrase 'There's in Montelette to build up' is ungrammatical and unclear, a sentence structure error (ID 26). Replace with 'didn't want clutter to build up' to convey the intended meaning and use past tense 'taught' for a past habit.

× And make sure that my room is tidy and organized.

✓ She made sure that my room was tidy and organized.

The original starts with 'And' and lacks a clear subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. This is a present participle/form issue (ID 10). Since the context is past habit, use past tense 'made sure' and past 'was' to match.

× Will I try to keep my? Areas or working areas or study areas? Staff are putting them in the right places.

✓ I try to keep my work and study areas tidy. I put things in the right places.

Fragments and incorrect word choices create sentence structure errors (ID 26). Remove question-like fragments, use 'I try' for habitual action, and replace 'Staff are putting them' (irrelevant) with 'I put things' to indicate the student's actions.

× After I use anything, I make sure that to put them in the right place so that I wouldn't have to spend too much time finding them.

✓ After I use something, I make sure to put it in the right place so that I don't have to spend too much time finding it.

Incorrect pronoun form and tense mismatch (ID 12). Use singular 'something' with singular 'it' or plural consistently; avoid 'anything' here. Use 'make sure to' followed by base verb, and present simple 'don't have to' for habitual present.

× Yes, I believe so. Keeping our place. To keep our mind organized when we look at UMM.

✓ Yes, I believe so. Keeping our place tidy helps keep our mind organized when we look at it.

Fragments and unclear reference 'UMM' create sentence structure errors (ID 26). Combine fragments into a complete sentence, use 'helps' to show cause, and replace unclear 'UMM' with 'it' or specify 'our surroundings'.

× Should be a little bit messy so we can find a way of ideas.

✓ It shouldn't be too messy; a little order helps us think clearly and generate ideas.

Awkward adjective/adverb use and unclear intent (ID 13). The original suggests being messy helps ideas; clarify meaning: some order aids thinking. Use comparative adverbs appropriately ('too messy') and clearer verbs ('think clearly', 'generate ideas').