Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific example. Use linking words for clarity.

例: Yes, I prefer to keep things tidy because I find it helps me focus. For example, at home I always put books back on the shelf and clear my desk before I start work, which makes it easier to concentrate.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity: begin with a direct past-tense statement, avoid filler words, and explain briefly how habits changed with a reason.

例: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy when I was a child because my parents encouraged me to. As I grew older I became more relaxed about small messes, although I still tidy up before important occasions.

提案: Be specific and correct vocabulary: state routine in present simple, avoid repetition, use correct words (desk, trash, dust) and include linking words to show sequence.

例: I usually tidy my workspace at the start of the day. First, I clear any rubbish and wipe dust from my desk; then I organise my documents so I can begin work without distractions.

提案: Give a clear, developed opinion: state your position, give two concise reasons with linking words, and avoid hesitation and repetition.

例: Yes, I think tidiness is necessary because it promotes good health and improves productivity. For instance, a clean environment reduces illness and makes it easier to find things, which benefits both individuals and the wider community.

× Everything should be in their place.

✓ Everything should be in its place.

The pronoun 'their' is plural and does not agree with the singular noun 'Everything'. Use the singular possessive pronoun 'its' to match the singular antecedent. Suggestion: replace 'their' with 'its'.

× Even I am at home or at my workplace, I always clean my surroundings and then start.

✓ Whether I am at home or at my workplace, I always clean my surroundings before I start.

The phrase 'Even I am at' is incorrect. Use 'Whether' to present alternative locations. Also add 'before I start' to clarify sequence. 'Surroundings' is fine; ensure sentence flows logically.

× When I was child, I really uh concentrate or keen to clean my room.

✓ When I was a child, I was really keen to clean my room.

Missing article 'a' before 'child'. Use past tense consistent forms: 'I was really keen' rather than 'I really uh concentrate'. Remove filler 'uh' and use 'keen to' followed by base verb. This matches past time frame.

× But yeah, over the time when I was get older, I'm trying to fix all the things and clean all the room as per my requirement.

✓ But over time, as I got older, I tried to fix things and clean the whole room according to my needs.

Mixes tenses: 'when I was get older' is incorrect. Use past simple 'as I got older' and maintain past viewpoint with 'I tried'. 'All the room' is ungrammatical; use 'the whole room' or 'the entire room'. Replace 'as per my requirement' with natural 'according to my needs'.

× When I when I went to my office, I started my day.

✓ When I go to my office, I start my day.

Redundant words 'When I when I'. The original alternates past and present; to describe habitual action use present simple: 'When I go... I start...'.

× I start my day while keeping the text clean.

✓ I start my day by keeping my desk clean.

'Tthe text' is likely a typo for 'desk'. Use the gerund phrase with 'by' to express how you start the day: 'start my day by keeping my desk clean'.

× While keep the text clean.

✓ I keep the desk clean.

'While keep' is ungrammatical; after 'while' use a verb in -ing form ('while keeping') or rephrase to 'I keep the desk clean.' Also correct 'text' to 'desk'.

× I remove all the trash from that decks, which has been like yesterday dust and then I'll start my work.

✓ I remove all the trash from the desk, which is often just yesterday's dust, and then I start my work.

Plural 'decks' incorrect; use singular 'desk' to match context. Use 'which is' not 'which has been like'. 'Yesterday dust' should be possessive 'yesterday's dust'. Keep tense consistent: habitual present 'I start'. Avoid future 'I'll' if describing routine.

× It is very necessary for any, for every individual to keep clean and umm, clean there, uh, to keep clean and uh, even their surroundings, even not for themselves, even for the country they are living in.

✓ It is very necessary for every individual to keep themselves and their surroundings clean, not only for themselves but also for the country they live in.

Awkward and repetitive phrasing. Use 'every individual' rather than 'any, for every individual'. Use reflexive pronoun 'themselves' with 'every individual'. 'Their surroundings' is correct here because 'every individual' can take singular 'they'. Replace 'they are living in' with simpler 'they live in'. Clarify contrast with 'not only... but also...'.