Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix verb forms and word choice (e.g., 'organized', 'items', 'skin-care products'). Avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I try to keep things tidy. However, I'm not very organized, so my mother often reminds me to clean my room; for example, clothes and skin-care products tend to be scattered. I usually do a thorough tidy once a week to keep things under control.

提案: Answer directly and clearly, with correct tense and grammar. Use past tense when talking about childhood, contrast with the present using linking words like 'but' or 'however', and give a specific reason. Avoid unclear phrases like 'as a show' or 'I hate the books so it's not a messy.'

例: When I was a child, I usually kept my room tidy because I liked to show it to guests. However, now I have less time because I need to study a lot, so my room is often messier than before.

提案: Give a clear routine in present tense and use linking words to organize ideas. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., 'after I study', 'desk', 'snacks', 'it makes it messy'). Be specific about methods you use to keep the space tidy.

例: I keep my study space tidy by clearing my desk after each study session. For instance, I put away books, throw away snack wrappers, and wipe the surface, because a clean desk helps me concentrate and prevents frustration.

提案: State your opinion clearly and support it with specific reasons and examples. Use coherent linking words ('however', 'for example', 'therefore') and correct phrasing ('I disagree', 'it's okay to have a bit of mess').

例: I don't think it is always necessary to be perfectly tidy; a bit of mess is acceptable if it doesn't affect your work. However, for health reasons or when guests visit, it's important to clean up, so I usually tidy up before visitors arrive.

× I have to admit that my mom often reminds me to keep my room tidy because I'm not a very nice organized person.

✓ I have to admit that my mom often reminds me to keep my room tidy because I'm not a very well-organized person.

The phrase 'nice organized' incorrectly combines 'nice' and 'organized'. Use the adverb 'well' with the past participle 'organized' to form the compound adjective 'well-organized'. 'Nice' is unnecessary and changes meaning. Suggestion: use 'well-organized' to describe someone's organizational ability.

× Like something in my room are messy like clothes and skin care, although I try to tidy up at least once a week.

✓ Some things in my room are messy, like clothes and skincare, although I try to tidy up at least once a week.

The original uses 'something' (singular) with 'are' (plural) and has awkward phrasing. 'Some things' matches the plural verb 'are'. Also use 'skincare' as a single noun. Suggestion: use plural subject with plural verb and clearer listing.

× Of course I usually keep my rooms tidies as a show, but however now I don't have that much time because I have to focus and concentrate on what I have to study and I hate the books so it's not a messy.

✓ Of course I usually kept my room tidy as a child to show off, but now I don't have that much time because I have to focus on my studies, and I don't like the books, so it's not messy now.

Multiple problems: tense should reflect past habitual action as a child ('kept' not 'keep'), 'rooms tidies' is wrong (should be 'room tidy'), 'as a show' is better 'to show off', redundant 'but however'—use one conjunction, 'focus and concentrate' is repetitive (use 'focus on'), 'what I have to study' is awkward—use 'my studies', 'I hate the books' -> 'I don't like the books', and 'it's not a messy' is ungrammatical—use 'it's not messy now'. Suggestions: match past tense for past habit, simplify redundant phrases, and correct adjective use.

× After I had the book I usually tidy my room especially my desk because when I have to head the book so I love to eat some snacks and it make my dad's messy so after that I always clean it because when I see something messy I feel frustrated.

✓ After I finish reading a book I usually tidy my room, especially my desk, because when I read I like to eat some snacks and they make a mess, so I always clean up afterwards because when I see mess I feel frustrated.

Problems include wrong preposition/verb choices: 'After I had the book' should be 'After I finish reading a book' to indicate completion; 'have to head the book' is incorrect—use 'read'; 'it make my dad's messy' is unclear—probably 'they make a mess'; 'clean it' -> 'clean up afterwards'. Also use 'mess' rather than 'messy' as noun. Suggestion: use correct verbs ('finish reading', 'read') and prepositional phrases ('afterwards') and noun forms ('mess').

× I would disagree with this, like I think you just don't make your room that messy is OK.

✓ I would disagree with that; I think it's okay if your room is not very messy.

The original mixes constructions and has incorrect clause structure. 'I would disagree with this' is acceptable but 'like I think you just don't make your room that messy is OK' is ungrammatical. Rephrase to a clear modal/existential statement: 'it's okay if your room is not very messy.' Suggestion: use 'it's okay if' and correct comparative phrasing.

× However some people really care about health and clean so sometimes it can be necessary to keep it tidy.

✓ However, some people really care about cleanliness and health, so sometimes it can be necessary to keep their space tidy.

Use 'clean' (adjective) vs 'cleanliness' (noun); 'care about health and clean' should be 'care about health and cleanliness'. Also 'keep it tidy' is vague—'their space' or 'their room' is clearer. Suggestion: use correct noun forms and clarify the object.